to expect that a thank you letter from a 6 year old might contain at least my name and mention of the actual gift?

[LadySanders]

Totally accept that its hard for a 6 year old to hand-write 30 thank you letters. And have done the old printed-off-the-computer generic thank you letter myself for my ds age 6, BUT got him to write 'dear X' and fill in the blank after 'thank you for the ......' and sign on each one. Last few thank yous he's received after classmates' parties have all been untouched-by-a-human-hand computer print-off saying "thanks for coming to my party and for my present". not even signed or with his name on!! its too rude, surely!!

[emkana]

YANBU

It is a thank you after all.

Rude would be not to thank you at all.

[binkleandflip]

It wouldnt bother me as long as the child said thank you when the gift was given (at the party).

[emkana]

I meant YABU

[chipkid]

maybe the presents all got mixed up and he didn't know what was from who! a thankyou is a thankyou however it is written

[Bink]

Well, no, I don't think it amounts to "rude" if the thank you letter just doesn't come up to the standards you'd apply - the worst you can say is that it's not as good as you'd do. It's a thank you letter after all, and there are lots of people who don't even do one at all (sometimes for perfectly good reasons - though we always do them).

[Wisteria]

At least you get a thank you! Do you realise how rare that is nowadays? Most adults don't even bother writing thank you letters, let alone expect or encourage their children to do so.

I think YABU (a bit) although I understand your POV completely, the idea at that age I think, is to get them accustomed to writing to say thank you and however it's done is good enough for me, especially when they are saying thank you for party gifts, as opposed to family presents etc (at 6)!!

My girls have always written letters and now they are older they know to mention the gift and also to put some interesting info in etc.

[binkleandflip]

TBH I dont expect thank you letters and dont send them because we are all friends and dont feel the need to reiterate that we are grateful for gifts if our children have said thank you already on receiving them. I dont think that anyone feels we are being rude, we just dont feel the need to say it twice IYSWIM.

[MerryAnnSinglemas]

thank you letters are very important in my opinion - and if they're going to be written at least sign them !!!

[EmsMum]

At 6, some would still find filling in the names/gifts an awful trial. Depends on the kid. I think at 6 I wrote the notes and DD signed. By 7 she could fill in the missing bits herself.

[Marina]

I think signing them might have been a nice touch. Ds is eight and does thank you letters on the computer because it's fun, but he uses cut and paste to personalise each letter and writes the person's name and his own signature after.
Dd will be working for Samantha Cameron at this rate, we are having trouble stopping her "writing" to all and sundry - she is four and does a nice line in embellished empty envelopes
Binkle, I agree about no need for thank you letters for gifts which are opened in front of the recipient and verbal gratitude is made clear.
But often at parties the pressies are hauled off to be opened later on. So tbh I think people should write meaningfully if they are going to do it at all.

[perpetualworrier]

I have never received a thank you note from one of my friends classmates. I thought if you said thanks to their face when they give you the present you don't need to go further?

My children always write a personal thank you to someone who sent them a pressie, but we don't do mass produced letters to friends they saw on the day and neither it seems does anyone else here.

[Monkeytrousers]

Oh, I don't get thank you letters. Isn't giving supposed to be the gift??

[hayCHingleBells]

God, your all gonna hate me!

Im useless, totally useless with thankyou cards!

I dont have the bleedin time!
Sometimes i print off a few photos that were taken on the day of the child that attended.

I prefer a thankyou on the day, at the time you greet your guests. Im perfectly happy with my dc getting a thankyou when they recieve the present.

Us adults dont write thankyous for every gift we recieve. Do we? Or am i the only one who thinks thankyou cards is just more unecessary hassle and expense?

[binkleandflip]

yes, agree, as a group we always make a point of having present opening there and then after cake cutting or whatever so all the children can enjoy seeing their friend's reaction to their gift.

[Bink]

Thinking a bit more about this.
Do you know, I might prefer receiving a short-form mass-produced thank you letter (from a classmate) as then I do not have the angst about whether to keep it or not.
When dd (eg) does her thankyou letters they are SO carefully scribed and decorated that I can imagine there is a wee bit of pain as they are consigned to the bin (as they naturally must in due course).

[Marina]

I think that works better when they are older binkle - or not having the inferno of the whole class party, as per the OP's situation I think
Ds didn't do thankyou letters this year as he had five pals to tea and opened his presents in front of them

[hayCHingleBells]

Ive never done that binkle, its a good idea!

I hate the brewsters parties (or equivalent) where a bucket is provided for all the presents to go in. Usually the birthday boy or girl just throws the gifts in after snatching it from givers hads, with a really weak thankyou with no eye contact.
Its just wrong.

[Marina]

Bink, ds has one in the shape of a Tardis from a clever friend that has gone in his memory book. It is lovely

[nappyaddict]

i'm never going to do the present opening with everyone still at the party - just asking for toys to get lost and broken imo. and it's not nice for the givers if you get 2 presents the same. the 2nd child always gets upset when they see that someone else already gave the birthday child that present too.

[yaddayule]

Hmmm sit on the fence !

I do think its polite to send a thank you note, so anything is better than nothing, but I DO understand what a hassle it is to get Algernon to sit still long enough to do the bloody things !

Last year I printed off some power rangers colur in's off the internet and ds coloured them in and signed his name (he was 5) I put a hand written note thanking X for the lovely Y

He had 25 friends at his party so the colouring in got progresively less detailed (I did use the best ones for the mum's I know are a bit competative )

Looking forward to the Christmas card writing
(not)

[binkleandflip]

dd is 5 and we generally have around 25-30 children and yes it is pandemonium, next birthday might have fewer friends and more thank you letters

[yaddayule]

And hopefully my spelling might have improved a bit by then too !

[binkleandflip]

no never had a brewster party - always at home. I'm not overly keen on soft play parties - they always seem to end in tears!!

[SoupDragon]

I make DSs write the fill-in-the-blank thank you after before they are allowed to unwrap the next present. 1) it splits the chore up (and it is a chore, for them and me!) and 2) it stops the materialistic frenzy that is opening 30 presents after a whole class party.

[ekra]

Does it really matter?!