To be peeved with MIL for refusing to commit to coming to stay at the weekend in case she gets a better offer from one of her other children?

[MuffinMclay]

MIL lives 3/4 hours away. She is going on holiday next week, and has asked us to look after her dogs whilst she is away (the fact that she won't look after ours in return is another AIBU matter altogether). The plan was that she would come and drop them off en route to the airport, perhaps staying for a night or two as well.

I asked her last weekend what she was planning on doing and when, and she wouldn't tell me - acted like it was a state secret. A bit annoying as I was trying to arrange for my parents to come and stay, so needed to know her plans (they don't get on at all, so there could be no overlap).

Today SIL tells me that MIL has been trying to see if she can stay with them instead. They have no spare room and have her inlaws aleady coming at the weekend (sleeping on the sofa), so that was out. BIL has offered to let her stay for one night, but has no spare bed or sofa for her to sleep on; he doesn't want her staying for 2 nights because it will interfere with his weekend of fun (no dcs yet). So MIL has told SIL and BIL (but not us) that she will stay here on Saturday night if she has to, and will sleep at BIL's on Sunday, but she won't confirm with us in case BIL decides he will have her for both nights after all. She would still drop her blasted dogs here though on the way to BIL's, because noone else will have them.

I find this so rude, and am rather taken aback that she wouldn't like to spend some time with her grandchild if nothing else. She hasn't seen him since about June (and sees SIL's dcs all the time).

Sorry, long and whingey. Just wanted to rant really....

[Jojay]

Very rude. i can see why you're angry.

Call her and say you need to know what she's doing NOW as you have other plans too, and don't take no for an answer.

[Indiechick]

Is your MIL related to my mother? Who's doing exactly the same thing to us about Christmas. Except she's not 'cos I'm putting my foot down and not having visitors but that's another story.
I've no advice but you are definately not being unreasonable.

[Blu]

Tell her that as she hadn't confirmed, you assumed she was staying elsewhere and have made other plans.

Why is it that she doesn't want to stay with you?

[FCH]

I think you are being incredibly reasonable to still be speaking to her at all... In your shoes I would have told her by now that not only do we not have room for her (I'd just tell my parents to come and stay so she couldn't), but we wouldn't be able to have the dogs either. In fact, no, I'd have got DH to tell her...

for you!

[SueBarooeeooeeooooo]

cheeky cow. No, yanbu. I'm constantly baffled that people who wouldn't dream of behaving this way with strangers think it's OK to piss about with family. And yes, sadly we have experience of it in this family too.

[MuffinMclay]

I have no idea why she doesn't want to stay. I get on fine with her, but she does bicker with dh quite a lot (both equally to blame). Only last week she was telling me that dh used to be her favourite child, but now had fallen into 2nd place (guess it must be 3rd place now ).

[morocco]

pmsl at the second/third place comment
you have yourself there a mil who is playing her kids off against each other for the chance to be favourite
play her at her own game and get your parents over instead
she sounds a pita and yanbu, all you can do is try not to take it personally and stay the adult in the situation. failing that, giving her a slap with a wet fish would make you feel better