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To wish that mil would put her *pleated* *cleavage* away!! Her tits are not good in a pushy uppy bra!

42 replies

PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:05

Why oh why?
And what the fuck is she wearing a little black lace tie up thingy around her neck for for? Its not the wrinkles around the neck she should be concerned about.
Dh didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She has just spent the last two weeks with us on holiday in ireland.

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moondog · 30/09/2007 22:06

Another medal handed over.

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katybump · 30/09/2007 22:10

sorry don't really have anything to say except you just made me pmsl !

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PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:12

no...I am not worthy of a medal.
I am actually ashamed that I did nothing but moan about her.
I can only blame myself as I asked her to come.

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geekymummy · 30/09/2007 22:13

sorry but LOLOLOLOLO @ "pleated cleavage"!!!

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KaySamuels · 30/09/2007 22:15

eeuww!!

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katybump · 30/09/2007 22:16

my dh wants to know if her cleavage looked like 3 week old balloons?

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PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:16

you know how it is.
You really do want to like people. You think you can be pleasant and all just have fun.
Then.....

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Elasticwoman · 30/09/2007 22:17

Perhaps she is encouraged to air her assets by an appreciative dh (hers not your) who says things like "not many of those to the pound!"

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PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:20

Katybump yes yes...thats it! just they had never been blown up.just a little puff of air then the phone rang....the ballon forgotten.

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PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:38

so can I list the things that drove me mad and await a few well deserved
"you bitch" stones?
Well here's one for starters.
she had to carry a white raincoat over her arm, whilst carrying an umbrella and a large clutch bag at all times (but god we are only going in the bloody garage to pay for deisel and get some sweets)

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threelittlebabies · 30/09/2007 22:40

pmsl at your turn of phrase pellmell! Keep the annoying stories comin'

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PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:46

well thanks
I need to get a few things of my (fully inflated) chest.
She had a colour chart with her to help her match her clothes, make up and accessories etc.
I thought it funny that she bought collegen filler on the way to and from the holiday (isn't pollyfiller)
She carries a huge mirror in her bag...everytime you leave her sitting alone she is looking in the mirror and re-applying her faces.
But she doesn't seem to notice the most beautiful face that she has helped to make (dd2)

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PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:48

right...I should stop because I am going too far now...................

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coleyboy · 30/09/2007 22:48

Reapplying her faces - pmsl!

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PellMell · 30/09/2007 22:53

I wanted her to stay in elc with my little girl (we were shopping in dublin city) but she had to come to H+M with me and buy some skinny jeans and a belted jumper for herself without trying them on.
Oh how can you wear skinny jeans over a heavily bandaged leg? (she has a leg ulcer ffs)
STOP ME NOW!

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glitterchick · 01/10/2007 06:52

Its 6.50am and I'm reading this post and laughing head off. Thats hilarious. I can laugh but sounds exactly like my MIL.

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BeetrootMNRoyalty · 01/10/2007 07:29

Jesus - how vile!

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BeetrootMNRoyalty · 01/10/2007 07:30

How vile you lot are btw

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PellMell · 01/10/2007 22:37

Oh dear,you are right..I quite agree!

60 turning 17 year old behaviour is mighty hard to swallow without a moan.
gahhhhhhhhhh It's still bothering me today.

Her thong whistling away on the washing line just beside my billowing bum huggers was a wake up call.............just as I might have beeen dreaming of refining my near forty year old body in preparation of the return to miniscule undies, I saw hers and heard "Nanna, are those your nik niks?"
It filled me with a very strange dread and a sudden comfortable feeling
Then again I am not 60

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xXxamyxXx · 01/10/2007 22:43

my gran thinks noyhing of sunbathing in only a tiny bikini out her back wouldnt be too bad if she waited untill she was on her own oh i feel your pain

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Sobernow · 01/10/2007 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skribble · 01/10/2007 22:49

After 2 weeks holiday with her you can say what you like (on here) much respect.

MY MIL like to whip hers off in the evening and leave it on the settee. The she comes down to sit in a t-shirt nightie that is thin and not long enough .

I will not be holidaying with them! Love them dearly though .

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PellMell · 01/10/2007 23:09

Oh, There's no way I would go out with her wearing a bin liner.
I'd have to poke holes in it so she could still carry her brolly
I have a problem when vanity excludes interaction.When it prevents someone from ever sitting, standing or socialising comfortably.
I know I am being a bitch but after knowing her for ten years and still not getting past the outer layer, it has grated on me to say the least
With every bad taste joke there is a deeper undertone isn't there! I resent that she wasn't there in my dh's young life. She chose to dress up and accompany rich men around the world instead.
She is still dressing up and showing off instead of interacting with a family who want her to love them and not her clothes.

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glitterchick · 02/10/2007 07:21

I completely know where you're coming from PellMell. Sounds alot like my MIL (in less funny but more serious way).

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Sobernow · 02/10/2007 11:51

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