to feel completely invisible?

[mustsleep]

no one talks to me in the playground like ever

when i smiled at someone this morning she looked at me as if to say qho the f@~k are you ?

when i spoke to someone yesterday she blanked me completely

i have no friends that i can see on a daily basis

i only work on a night so it's not like i have any adult conversAation during the day

dh judt laughs when i tell him about it especially the parties wher everyone goes off in their own little cliques and i just sit on my own

and i try not to be bothered about it as i don't want to be friends with peple that ignore me, but it's happening on here too no one answers me!!

but seriuosley it is quite depressing on a way

[Scoobi6]

Hi mustsleep, you're not invisible, sometimes these things just happen and its nothing you've done so try not to worry about it

Its really hard to "break in" to conversations at parties where everyone else is chatting, I sympathise as I'm very shy. Where abouts do you live? Maybe other MNers are local to you. And are there any different clubs/groups you could join or enrol the kids into, you might find there are a really nice bunch of people out there who you "click" with.

Sorry I'm probably not being much help, but try not to let it get you down and I'm sure things will improve with time

[itwastheoysters]

Mustsleep Playgrounds can be scary places! Maybe the person you smiled at is short sighted or maybe she also feels invisible and was simply shocked when she got a smile?
It really is hard sometimes to break into cliques - I have a similar problem in that I work full time - on the few days I pick up ds1 from school I feel like a stranger amongst lifelong friends!
The only advice I have is similar to scoobi6 - try not to take it personally and keep persevering. Sometimes people come across as 'stand-offish' when really they are just shy with 'strangers' too.
At least you're not invisible on Mumsnet now

itwastheoysters (used to be babyblueiloveyou)

[Twinkie1]

Hi Mustsleep

Its exactley how I felt recently after moving 40 miles away from where all my friends live.

I had a great social life, a lovely job, knew everyone at the gym and in the playground and now know practicly no one!

It has taken time - I know the lady who lives next door to me now - we get the train together and I at least get to speak to her. I know the grand total of 3 people at school - only through having their kids round to play with DD - I am getting there but it is a slow process!

I did as Mumsnetters said and gave it time. Where do you live by the way - there must be mumsnetters in your area - I met one in my village now I can;t say I am the only mumsnetter in the Village!!

I do turn down invites to parties though as am rubbish at that kind of thing - prefer to be in on my own and let DH go to the party - at least I can do what I want and usually just end up going to bed.

[mustsleep]

thanks

am in leeds i do have friends but they all seem to work during the week so it's aird to get together when you only have the weekend and then you like to spend time with your partners etc

have thought about some clubs but don;t really know bout any near us will have to have a look into it and see how much they cost

[filthymindedvixen]

you'd be amazed at how many 'happy cuples' jump at the chance to doing something at the weekend with other people.

I used to have such low self esteem, I felt there was no point in even approaching someone as they were bound to turn me down. It was easier just be be lonely.
Now I realise, 80 per cent of people are pleased and flattered to be asked to go for a coffee or whatever. The other 20 per cent are either genuinely too busy or just rude

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

[Eddas]

I empathise with the playground thing. When DD started at preschool in January I felt totally out of place. Luckily I was pg, and that kinda kicked off some conversations with people as people are nosey

Agree with Dior, that people always like a compliment and I may well try using that as a way to start talking to people. I am very concious that there are new mums at preschool and I don;t want them to feel excluded. Also, I'm going to join the preschool committee in the hope of finding friends with children my dd's age. Even if it's just for playdates. My friends from school don't have children(well a couple do but most don't) and it's very hard. Even when we meet up now it's getting harder to talk about things as their lives are so different to mine.

You could try the meetup boards on here. There must be some for Leeds based mums.

[mimi03]

mustsleep - mumsnet is a great way of meeting up with new ppl- just go to the meet up threads and look for your area. i started a meetup thread for lincoln as i moved here and didnt know a soul. dont let a few bad experiences in the playground put you off.... if their rude sod 'em i say! pll often exclude others to make themselves feel important. just the same as kids do.

[sparkybabe]

Schoolplaygrounds are intimidating places if you don't know anyone - at our school we're not allowed in the playground, we have to meet dc outside on the street! ANyway, everyone else is in their little groups and it's just not done to break into a conversation! Schools do sometimes have evening or after-school things though,- meetings for school business, friends-of-the-school, PTA's, etc. CAn you get along to any of those? As a member of the committee if the friends (one of 6! Out of 500 children!)I can tell you you would be most welcomed. Once your face is recognised if gets easier.