to want my DH to settle our DS2 - i 'm still on mat. leave&breasfeeding ?

[pipsi100]

Our ds2 is 7 months old & has never been the best sleeper - I am due to go back to work in 4 weeks & would like my DH to take his share of early mornings or night wakings as & when they happen, as I do not know how I will function in the real world again. But he thinks that as I am still breastfeeding it is my job!

[LaDiDaDi]

You are not being unreasonable. Dh needs to start doing this as when you go back to work he will have to take his turn too. I suggest though that you try to stop night feeds or express so that your DH feels more capable of helping/has no excuse depending upon his mindset!

[VengefulSquirrel]

Pipsi, will your lo take a bottle with expressed milk in it? I only ask 'cos my dh has a similar attitude but dd is not helping as she will only feed from me and pushes the bottle out of her mouth with her tongue. I am totally worried that this situation may not have changed before I go back to work.

[DreamtOfMandalay]

I don't think you are being unreasonable but if you are breastfeeding then it may be easier said than done. I've been back to work for months now, and still doing the night feeds as just can't face the hours of sobbing and screaming that ensues if I send DP down with a bottle.

If you lo takes a bottle then kick your DH out of bed and tell him you need sleep to repair your brain in preparation for work!

Cld you start off on a weekend so your DH isn't so exhausted the next day?

[pipsi100]

Squirrel - Yes, he will take a bottle because I give him one a week as I had a similar problem to you with my DS1. I try not to feed DS2 at night but he is heavy & wriggley so it seems easier to snuggle him into bed feed him & plonk him back when he's in the land of zzzz. I guess its once a week along with the occasional 4.30am start. DH was much more involved with DS1 & just doesn't have the same pateince this time, he is driving me bonkers by the way we have slipped into such stero-typical roles now.

[tori32]

Not unreasonable at all! If he takes a feed from the bottle just express for the late evening feed and feed at 4.30. Don't know how true it is but was told that if you don't feed in the night that supply can diminish? Does anyone else know if its true?

[VengefulSquirrel]

Pipsi, you are singing my song!!! I want to tackle the night feeds, taking a bottle etc but each night it just seems too hard, and it is so quick just to feed her and plonk her back in the cot. I've taken her in with me a few times too, then when she wants a feed she just rolls over and licks my pyjama top...

[pipsi100]

Squirel, life would be so simple if we had all the answers huh? I need to listen to myself a little more - I know that this is 'just a phase' and at 7 months he's doing pretty well at mostly sleeping through. If bf works for sleep & it's the easiest then maybe we shouldn't feel there should be another answer ? Just part of life's rich tapestrey???? But...... ah if only.......

[VengefulSquirrel]

Agree, Pipsi, at the end of the day sometimes it is just about surviving rather than doing something 'textbook'...we'll save that for later when we are not copoing with 2 under 5! My dh just loves the fact i bf 'cos it lets him off the hook. But going back to work...that is different. I agree with the post that says trying something atweekends when there is less pressure might be a good idea to start with. I don't think my dh has any confidence about feeding the lo, but I'm sure with practise it could improve! I mean he's even scard of feeding the mashed carrot etc. But I don't think dd would fancy that in the middle of the night!!! Sigh. What are we to do!