To use the word "naughty"

[speedymama]

DTS are 3 yo and go to nursery. This weekend they chastised me and DH for using that word. They did something that I had asked them not to do and I told them to stop being naughty. DT1 retorted with "don't say naughty, I'm not naughty, you can't say naughty". So I responded with "well stop misbehaving then!"

I spoke to the nursery about this and they confirmed that they are not allowed to use the word naughty because it labels the child rather than the act. Now I'm all for positive parenting but there comes a time when you have to just tell how it is. I don't call my boys name but I do point out their bad behaviour and I also praise them when they are being good. In fact, I praise more than I chastise.

As a child, when my parents told me that I was being naughty, I took notice. Now my 3yo DTS read me the riot act. Well, I will not be dictated to by a toddler and if that makes me a dinosaur in terms of modern day parenting, so be it.

So am I a recalcitrant, anachronistic, old fashioned dinosaur who refuses to indulge the latest fads in parenting as dictated by a bunch of pinko liberal, arm wringing, bleeding heart busybodies?

[PetronellaPinkPants]

I totally agree with you

[Greensleeves]

Yes, that's exactly what you are IMO. What an obnoxious post.

[ChasingSquirrels]

I use it - and I definate refuse to indulge the latest fads in parenting - not sure what that says

[PetronellaPinkPants]

Anyway you don't have to say you are naughty
you can say that is naughty

I get this pc preaching from dd all the time it makes me roll my eyeballs

[gigglinggoblin]

i dont say 'you' are naughty, i say 'that' was naughty so it is labelling the act. i would be with nursery as they must have told your dts you cant say naughty. how naughty of them

[nailpolish]

just say the the act is nuaghty then

"its naughty to not do what mummy asks you to"

jeez, wft do you say if you cant say naughty? what do they say at the nursery then?

[misdee]

naughty nursery.

[PetronellaPinkPants]

I do worry that they are not being prepared for the real world by this sort of thing

DD burst into tears one day because I said she was being silly - she kept saying that that wasn't a nice word and no-one should use it. What will happen when she starts school and gets called a LOT worse than that??

[speedymama]

Greensleaves, what is obnoxious?

Out of interest, I wonder where that leaves the naughty step?

[MellowMa]

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[MellowMa]

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[MellowMa]

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[fireflyfairy2]

I just say stop misbehaving.

[OrmIrian]

I agree with the principle - label the behaviour not the child but I will admit to forgetting sometimes

Not sure that the children discern the nice distinction between the 2 uses anyway.

[nailpolish]

silly is a v ery good word to use
i use silly quite a lot
we are not allowed to say stupid in this house

[ChasingSquirrels]

surely if you don't use naughty you wouldn't have a naughty step?
I don't have a naughty step either - but thats because so far ds1 is a dream, ds2 is going to have a whole naughty house all to himself if form to date is anything to go by!

[speedymama]

NP, they say they use other words like "you are being tetchy today"

What is the point of that if the connotation is the same? Out of interest, the staff do not agree with it but they have to comply with the dictats from up on high and naughty is now a banned word, apparently.

[GiantSquirrelSpotter]

The nursery are obviously a bit confused.

Labelling the child is if you say "you are naughty". That's not the same as saying "that was naughty".

That is actually too complex for some people to deal with though.

I blame the decline of religion. I was taught from an early age "hate the sin, love the sinner" so always understood the concept of separating the person from the act. A lot of people can't seem to grasp it though, so throw the baby out with the bathwater

[JoolsToo]

ha, ha, ha!

the woooooooooooooooooooooorld's gorn maaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Ask em to give you a list of words you ARE allowed to use, might be easier

[nailpolish]

i really cant see what is wrong wiht naughty
it just means you are doing something you have been asked not to ffs! or that you know is wrong. if the child doesnt know its wrong then they are not naughty, if htey do know its wrong but they still do it they are naughty. at least is better than "you are a bad boy"

i imo a 3 yr old has a grasp on what is right and wrong in simple situations

[GiantSquirrelSpotter]

Well also tetchy is incorrect.

The child may be tetchy, but naughtiness is not always down to tetchiness.

No-one will know what anything in English means anymore.

[JoolsToo]

tetchy?

fookin ell

you just HAVE to laugh

[gigglinggoblin]

unsettled step

[Hulababy]

I don't tend to say "you are naughty" type comments, but I will label a behaviour as naughty or not nice.

So "don't do that, it's naughty" rather than "don't be naughty".