To dislike 40 yr old dh calling his mother "mummy"

(197 Posts)
Nikky7 Wed 28-Nov-07 22:21:37

Having discussed this with my hubby, he says it is to do with his upbringing and the word 'mum' was not allowed, and so naturally he has never called her that as 'Mummy' is her preference. It's only a name anyway. To refer to his mother by any other name now would feel strange to him and his mother, and they are both quite posh, so it goes with the territory.

rantinghousewife Wed 28-Nov-07 22:05:30

Urgh, I think it's freaky if anyone over the age of 8 calls their mum 'mummy'.

LoveAngelGabriel Wed 28-Nov-07 22:03:04

Mummy? That's creepy, sorry.

pointydog Wed 28-Nov-07 20:56:28

Mother is just too Norman Bates

pointydog Wed 28-Nov-07 20:55:56

this is an ancient thread

FluffyMummy123 Wed 28-Nov-07 20:54:37

Message withdrawn

pointydog Wed 28-Nov-07 20:54:05

er, now, I only read op and have now caught a glimpse thatthis thread has gone wrong, with people denying poshness.

You must be a little bit posh to say mummy when an adult, surely

pointydog Wed 28-Nov-07 20:53:05

you married a posh bloke and that's all there is to it

geekymummy Wed 28-Nov-07 20:40:51

wow I never thought that such a topic can wind people up grin Nor did I have a clue that "mum" could be thought of as "common", lol!

Me and my sibs always called our parents mum and dad. My mum is now Nana and MIL is grandma.

lucyellensmum Wed 28-Nov-07 17:02:18

my DP is from lewisham, and is most definately not posh, still calls his parents mummy and daddy.

lucyellensmum Wed 28-Nov-07 17:00:36

I think "Mummy" is OK, but if he starts asking for BITTY, then run to the hills

beeper Wed 28-Nov-07 16:45:02

YABU - I think that you have a beef with his mummy other than this.

Nikky7 Wed 28-Nov-07 14:05:34

My husband refers to his mother as Mummy as he was brought up to do so. His mother is well-spoken and posh and dislikes the word 'mum'. I am used to it now, but was suprised when I first heard him refer to her by that name, and write "Dear Mummy" on birthday and Christmas cards as he is 34 years of age. I think it shows he has respect for his mother by calling her a name she prefers. He sometimes gets smiles from members of the public if he answers his mobile phone with the greeting "hello Mummy". Personally I think it is quite sweet.

Tillyboo Wed 07-Mar-07 21:56:02

I agree with a lot of posters, it's a class thing. My hubby is pretty posh (I'm not) and he calls his parents mummy & daddy quite a lot in their presence but not in public.
I was shocked to hear it first time and my friends thought it weird but now I know the history of the family etc. it's understandable and so I just ignore it.
In truth, does t really matter ? They are only words and if someone is narrow minded enough to feel the need to take the piss (see, I'm not posh) then shouldn't their small mindedness be ridiculed too ?

PS: It's very funny to hear a posh bloke be rude and crude - always makes me laugh to hear something dodgy come out of dh's mouth.

MarriedToASittingPisser Tue 06-Mar-07 21:34:36

Think yourself lucky he doesn't tell you about his "piddling" habits in the marital bed!

Chocolate1000 Tue 06-Mar-07 21:30:42

I call my Mum Mum or if I'm being cheeky, 'old woman' and have done since I was about 10 when I dropped 'mummy'.

I taught my daughter to call me 'Mumma' when she was a baby (I liked the sound of this better) but she's changed it to 'Mummy' now. A letter she wrote in school the other day addressed me as 'Mum'. So there you go.

sheepgomeep Tue 06-Mar-07 21:15:09

When me and my parents moved to Wales and I had my kids my parents refused point blank to be called nain and taid (sp?) which is welsh for your grandparents I think on your mothers side. (Is that right any welsh people out there or is it the same for both sets of grandparents.?) She said although it was nice it didn't seem right for her. Although most people where we are call thier granparents nain and taid my mum is 'nana'

I call my mum and dad well mum and dad. To do anything else makes me cringe!

Each to thier own though.

Oh and can some one please tell me what the origins are behind 'mater' and 'pater'. Always puzzled me. or is it short for maternal and paternal

A bit of a late addition to this debate. But just to add that from a foreigner's point of view this debate is kind of strange. My parents are mama and papa in private, but if I'd talk about them to someone else in Belgium, they'd become ma and pa.
Why should people suddenly start calling their parents something else from what they've always called them just because they've turned 10? It's really strange I think, would you start calling other people x after calling them y for about 10y?

newkid Tue 06-Mar-07 11:19:53

Have to support the Irish thing - I am in my late 30s and calling my parents anything other than Mummy and Daddy would be very weird, though some of my cousins have always called their parents by their first names so it's not 100% true. I used to get very self-conscious about it until a few years ago when I thought who gives a s**t, they are my parents and that's what I call them.

sockmonkey Tue 06-Mar-07 09:49:49

DH has taught my 3YO to say "goodnight mother" which they think is sooo funny.
By DBro went to Germany for a couple of years and when he came back he started calling Mum & Dad "mother & father". Maybe it's just a cultural thing.
I do think calling your mum "mummy" past a certain age is odd though.

divamumplus Tue 06-Mar-07 09:31:03

i just looked thru the posts, do ppl realise whatever ois the op, they always seem to turn it into middle class or high class talk. why dont u do ur own upper class mummynet{wink]
i shall go offski while dd sleep
i call mum, i think mother sound little cold

CAM Mon 05-Mar-07 20:38:31

Yes oxo it was probably a decade plus ago!

I hung on every word though it was totally creepy

Katy44 Mon 05-Mar-07 17:26:09

Every Irish person I've met has referred to mummy and daddy - I assumed it was usual there.
I'm from the NE and 'mam' really grates on me, sorry!
Xenia, good point about Prince Charles, also, what do you think Prince Philip calls his wife? Lizzie? Liz? Ma'am?

oxocube Mon 05-Mar-07 17:03:56

I think I do CAM. Was it quite a few years ago? They were VERY strange.

CAM Mon 05-Mar-07 15:56:00

oxocube do you remember that tv documentary about those identical twin sisters who lived together and did everything together, even hoovering at the same time with one hoover, both holding on to it ? And they had their own language as well. And they were about 49 ?

specialmagiclady Mon 05-Mar-07 14:58:32

My mum is Mum and dad is Dad unless I want something in which case Dadd-deeeee!

But my mother talks about her mother as "Mummy" although when she was alive, she called her "Ma" quite a lot.

My mum is probably quite posh though.

oxocube Mon 05-Mar-07 10:23:44

grey even

oxocube Mon 05-Mar-07 10:23:20

earlgray, that's creepy

luciemule Mon 05-Mar-07 10:22:00

I've always called my mum 'mummy' and my dad 'dad' or 'daddy'. I'm not in the least bit posh but see it as an affectionate term. And even though I'm 29, I still sometimes sit on my mum's knee for a cuddle - which she likes.
I also think what people call grandparents is more often a case of not confusing children if they have more than one set.
It really doesn't matter what anyone calls their family - if they've always called them it, it's because it's familiar and they like calling them that.

earlgrey Mon 05-Mar-07 06:29:27

Tell you what does make me raise an eyebrow. Two sisters in dds school who address themselves as sister, as in:

"Sister, that's not quite right."

"What's wrong with it, sister?"

ala Jane Austen

nappyaddict Mon 05-Mar-07 05:18:15

i call my mum mummy sometimes, and my dad is always daddy. not sure why always daddy but only sometimes mummy. i think its because daddy is step-dad and dad is real dad, so its always been daddy to distinguish from the two. explains a lot really - as a child daddy is more affectionate and to this day if i had to choose i would choose him over my real dad as horrible as this sounds.

plummymummy Mon 05-Mar-07 01:02:45

I think chubbleigh has made a good point. My dh is Afro-Caribbean and it is commonplace for adults to call their parents mummy and daddy. Have Irish parents and it was the same for them too. It only grates on me when I hear posh people say it, but that is because I have an inverse snobbery agains the upper classes (my name is a pun - common as muck is me).

chubbleigh Sun 04-Mar-07 22:31:30

To me it is not a posh thing, it is an Irish thing. Lots of Irish call their parents Mummy and Daddy all their lives.

pointydog Sun 04-Mar-07 18:49:57

I'll tell mater on you, puppydog.

If i am a precoshus teen, you are a gurl and a sneke and you must be frends with Fotherington-Thomas.

Puppydog Sun 04-Mar-07 16:21:58

It seems a little illiberal to get bothered about what you partner calls his parents .

However there is defintely a class and sex issue.

Upper mid/Upper class boys always call their Mother Mummy but as adults never refer to their father as Daddy - pa or Dad suffices -girls always keep Daddy.

Mater/Pater is completely redundant only midlle class precocious teens say this as an ironic statement.

It is utterly working class to call ones grandparents Nanny/Nana and Grandad

Only Middle class peopel with academics and leftwing political views have their parents call them by their first names.

fortyplus Sun 04-Mar-07 16:10:28

I always used to call my dad 'daddy' when I wanted something!

My dh's parents are Newcastle-posh.

Dh is Nick and his mum & sister will insist on calling him 'Nicky'... Bleeeurgh!

He absolutely hates it but is far too polite to tell them.

CAM Sun 04-Mar-07 12:39:36

Hello Jackaroo

Jackaroo Sun 04-Mar-07 11:22:54

My mother freaks out if anyone calls her anything other than mummy, but actually it's my dad who is posh, and he often refers to her as mum, and did with his own mum...
So I don't know what I'm saying except, maybe my mother is more like hyacinth bouquet than I like to admit . I call her mum or mother when referring to her, but I'm very comfortable with calling my dad "daddy"... I just adjust for other people as I already know how creepy some people find it - as witnessed on this thread!(I suspect my Aussie in-laws love it, being anglophiles/respectful of royalty/impressed by our very English/posh wedding, but DH's friends in Oz must think it's hysterical...)

Hello - btw - only my second post, and first chatty one.

potatofactory Sun 04-Mar-07 11:09:24

It makes me absolutely cringe - definitely posh, and somehow ostentatiously posh when done in public. Eeeeyyooo

My DH calls his mum 'mate' which grates on me. He used to call me mate but i swiftly informed him it was 'bumperlicious', darling, babe or any other forms of affection etc. but i was not his 'mate'

puffling Sat 03-Mar-07 22:59:02

It depends on your class. Posh people say mummy and daddy forever. Other people only do it as small children and for them it would be a bit creepy to still be saying it into the teens.

wulfricsmummy Sat 03-Mar-07 19:06:18

er, I call mine Mummy and Daddy. I'd cringe if my DS ever called me "mum". It's ok to refer to me in the 3rd person that way, but as a form of address I'm not comfortable with it as I never used it for my mother.

CAMy Sat 03-Mar-07 14:29:21

Except it wasn't his mummy..................

Sure it's ok .........for a serial killer with mummy in a rocking chair

Rabbitbreath Sat 03-Mar-07 14:00:01

I am 6 months pregnant and your question sparked a conversation between my husband and I about whether we would like our children to call us by our first names or say Mom and Dad - my hubby says he would prefer for our children to call him by his first name once they get older, but I feel it is a show of respect when you call your parents Mom and Dad as that is how I was brought up (being 32 years old and Afrikaans I still call my parents Mamma and Pappa).

Lovecat Sat 03-Mar-07 13:46:36

My DH's grandmother insists that everyone calls her Granny - I refuse to do so as she isn't my granny, so I find myself going through linguistic contortions to avoid having to address her directly as anything. Which is daft, but there y'go. It's gotten easier now we have our DD, as I can say to her 'your great-granny' and talk through her if necessary.

Thank Christ she lives on the isle of wight and we only have to see her a few times a year...

jampot Sat 03-Mar-07 13:16:34

I used to work with a woman who is now about 60 and she still calls her mother mummy - but she is posh

winniepoo Sat 03-Mar-07 10:04:43

My mother refers to herself as mummy when she calls our answer mc it drives me mad! Much prefer mother!

Volodya Sat 03-Mar-07 09:27:50

My dh insists on calling my grandmothers "Grandma" and "Granny X" as I do - even though Granny X in particular would rather he didn't and would far rather he called her just X - he won't as he thinks it sounds disrespectful! My BIL calls them Mrs Y and Mrs Z which sounds even more weird I think considering that he's been part of the family for more than 10 years...

climbingrosie Sat 03-Mar-07 08:46:21

My grandparents were always grandmama and grandpapa, it sounded a bit weird to say but that is what made them happy so that is what we called them!

My parents have five children and what they get called varies, my youngest sister always calls them mummy and daddy or mummy dearest and daddy dearest, she is 21 (TBH the rest of us laugh at this but it is sweet, parents like it) Mother and father are usual, sometimes mum and dad, and now that I have DS all of us have started calling them granny and grandad because it winds them up!

We also call our father papaaa in a very tongue in cheek way when we are messing around or want something!

We all use daddy if we want something, as in daddyyyyyyyyy while giving him a big gives him some warning that we are after something! lol

Agree with op that it is a bit starange, but something that we ar still a part of and that is hard not to do if it is a family thing. My aunt still refers to her mother as mummy even when talking about her to someone else (a bit odd but also respectful of her mother as that is what she would have liked)

jajas Fri 02-Mar-07 22:39:50

I had a granny and grandaddy (they were pretty posh). My parents somehow ended up being called Mutti and Pop because they hated Mum and Dad but I couldn't stand calling them Mummy and Daddy when I got older. I was very embarassed that they ended up with such silly names but it's hard to change after a few years.

bananaloaf Fri 02-Mar-07 21:02:54

brother still call parents mummy and daddy and he is 40, i call them mother and father and we are very close. stem from when i was a teenager mother didnt want us to call her mum and i refused to call her mummy to mother it was and it stuck, now i am older slip into mummy but then i am a mummy

OrmIrian Fri 02-Mar-07 21:02:05

How about 'mater' and 'pater'. Better?

Mine are mummy and daddy and I'm over 40 although when I married 'down' I started to feel self-conscious and they became mum and 'father' - can't bring myself to say 'dad' for some reason.

So if the OP is still interested you are being unreasonable .

PippiLangstrump Fri 02-Mar-07 20:56:58

...class... class... class...


kittywaitsfornumber6 Fri 02-Mar-07 20:36:12

Yuk, makes my skin crawl.

elliott Fri 02-Mar-07 20:29:28


pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 20:23:06

You are melting

Judy1234 Fri 02-Mar-07 20:21:49

I want to remain anonymous. It was obviously a fee paying school.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 20:20:08

xenia, you are softening up. Giving some personal details. You old dollop of ice cream.

popsycal Fri 02-Mar-07 20:19:58

give me a clue where you went xenia.
I went to a rough comprehensive so anyone who did would sharp have stopped or they would have got their head kicked in

Judy1234 Fri 02-Mar-07 20:18:23

pop, they just about all did at my school in Newcastle.

codswallop Fri 02-Mar-07 19:57:02


popsycal Fri 02-Mar-07 19:56:36

Xenia's from newcastle?!?!?!?!?!?!?
No one calls their mam 'mummy'

Or maybe I didn't go to a proper school....

I have never heard anyone about the age of 8 say mummy
hear very few saying mum even

Talking of the name of the 'awful' mumsnet.....
Would Mummysnetty be any better?

Only you would need an apostrophe up here.....and then it is transformed into a whole different place......
get yer geordie dictionary out

nooka Fri 02-Mar-07 19:45:05

I call mine Mama and Papa, and my grandparents were Grandmama and Grandpapa. But my mother, who really does have quite a posh background called her parents Mum and Dad, and her grandmother Granny. I think it depends on the accent you use as to whether it's posh or not.

Judy1234 Fri 02-Mar-07 19:23:07

Obviously now I'm fairly middle class and we were brought up middle class but my mother's family weren't. It was very marked at her funeral from clothes, to accents, to the school divide, the differences effected in one generation or so. Fascinating.

magicfarawaytree Fri 02-Mar-07 18:38:08

I call mine mummy and hope that my children will call me mummy. I dont think it is a posh thing, because we were as poor as church mice growing up. it has always, to mer personally sounded softer than mum. I quite like words and they way some trip off the tongue and mummy just seems nicer to say.

iCAM Fri 02-Mar-07 18:37:34

My 49 year old dh and all 3 of his (older) sisters and brother called their parents Mummy and Daddy and still refer to them as such even though they are dead (MIL very recently).

I call my father Daddy or sometimes by his Christian name.

I call my mother Mummy or Mum depending on the circumstances.

My mother had to call her mother "Mother" as a child and found it to be very cold.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 18:33:49

Do you see yourself in terms of Gryff Rhys Jones at all?

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 18:33:24

That's a bit freaky, xenia. I was goin gto post earlier that - in ridiculous fashion - Gryff Rhys Jones claimed he could be working class as his grandad was a miner.

Judy1234 Fri 02-Mar-07 18:18:52

Probably. My mother's family were from a pit village. I just we are lucky in the UK to have much more social mobility within a generation or two than lots of other countries manage or we used to have here.

nogoes Fri 02-Mar-07 18:18:52

You are most certainly posh Xenia if you drive an old banger. Real posh people don't care about such things.

Greensleeves Fri 02-Mar-07 18:17:26

Perhaps you are "nouveau riche"? With your island and all

Judy1234 Fri 02-Mar-07 18:16:01

Okay, I accept the promotion. Upper middle class then? ABC1 may be? I have a hole in the elbow of this top and my car cost £950 so I don't think I can really be very posh.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 17:26:14

People's definition of middle class varies wildly.

You is posh, face it.

Judy1234 Fri 02-Mar-07 17:18:59

I think I'm more middle class than posh.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 17:01:04

mater and pater is aristocratic.

Or you are molesworth

tallulah Fri 02-Mar-07 17:00:43

I can't bear the word mum. Once we were too old to say mummy I called mine mother. My own kids call me mummy (& DD is 21) but call DH a variety of names- DD calls him pa, one of the DSs says da.

My ILs insisted on being nanny and grandad. I hate the word nanny (even worse now the DSs have shortened it to nan) and my dad and grandad were both already called grandad so I found it very confusing. My own grandparents all had different names which was much easier.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 17:00:38

calling your parents mummy and daddy after you have left home is posh.

That's the definition

Never heard it before I came to London!

Judy1234 Fri 02-Mar-07 16:37:47

It's just words. My children chop and change depending which friends they are with but would always call me mummy at home. My siblings and I call our father daddy and he's 78!

Northern posh - not sure. Depends how you define posh. Perhaps our definition should be simply whether or not you call your parents mummy and daddy but even that's not posh, is it? What about mater and pater or what does Prince Charles use?

whiffywarthog Fri 02-Mar-07 16:36:39


my dh rather alarmingly ricochets between 'mummy' and her initials. i'm sure it's a wind up. i just have to get him to admit it.

alibubbles Fri 02-Mar-07 16:31:06

I'm 49 and still call my parents mummy and daddy, ( but I don't mind admitting I'm posh!) my DD does, and my DS 19 does, but hates it , but can't seem to lose the habit of calling me mummy, especially when he wants something.

My friend is 60 and she still calls her mother mummy. We do refer to them as 'my mother'when talking about them.

My mother wouldn't answer to mum!

cardy Fri 02-Mar-07 15:52:25

Wowthis tread has surprised me. I can't believe how many people (adults) call their parents mummy and daddy. I've never met anybody who does. Maybe that's because I am not posh and I'm northern. In fact I'm more likely to hear 'mam'.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 15:29:51

oh and sorry whiffy - I was responding to the op with my first comment.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 15:29:13

"I'm from Newcastle. Plenty of people I know there call their parents mummy and daddy."

Xenia, they are posh people.

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 15:28:37

I'd missed your posts whiffy - your dh is obviously just on the wind-up 'cause he knows it's a poncy thing to say

whiffywarthog Fri 02-Mar-07 15:21:47

or something...

pointydog Fri 02-Mar-07 15:12:37

he must be posh

or very ironic or something

whiffywarthog Fri 02-Mar-07 14:49:21

nope - my dh is british through and through.

motherinferior Fri 02-Mar-07 14:02:40

There's something I think you've maybe missed - Mummy is also often quite a non-English thing. I can't speak for all continents, but it's certainly an Asian thing (there are Goodness Gracious Me sketches to this effect).

All DP's lot - him and his three identical brothers - refer to their parents as Mummy and Daddy. And they think it's distinctly odd that people think this is odd.

Weirderooney, but.

whiffywarthog Fri 02-Mar-07 13:58:10

grim ernest - calling your dw mother.

my dh calls his mum mummy and i look around furtively hoping no-one's listening. my neck muscles are quite strong now.

i've tried to get him to stop, but he does it on purpose because he's just WAITING for someone to goad him.

My 18 and 16 year old DSs still call me mummy. I think it's partly because we have a DD of 7 and partly because we live in Belgium so there's no peer pressure to change to mum and dad. With regard to French, it's usually maman and papa but there's a whole host of names for grandparents. My PIL didn't like any of the English grandparent names so they go by the Dutch names of Oma and Opa.

shimmy21 Tue 27-Feb-07 20:35:00

My dad always wanted me to call him daddy but I was the black sheep of the family and lowered our social class a notch by insisting on dad from the age of 8.

Last wek I visited a 56 year old woman who consistently called her parents mummy and daddy to me throughout our conversation. Yucky yuck.

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Feb-07 20:25:36

xenia you are a right card

JustSometimes Tue 27-Feb-07 20:22:05

I know that some Germans call their parents Mutti and Vati which is the equivalent to Mummy and Daddy. Likewise they will add an 'eli' to the end of the name to soften it = Kateli instead of Kathrin.

Twiglett Tue 27-Feb-07 17:13:49

one of my dsis's calls mum .. mumm-ay

don't know why but it makes the rest of us snort

Judy1234 Tue 27-Feb-07 17:12:35

I'm from Newcastle. Plenty of people I know there call their parents mummy and daddy.

Anyway don't take me seriously. It's only words. I just happen to cringe at the word "mum" just like some people on this thread cringe at mummy. I wonder if the French or Germans in their own languages have the same kinds of distinctions we have in the UK or are we unique. Presumably the Indian castes do or do they speak entirely different languages?

booge Tue 27-Feb-07 17:11:54

Mummy is more aspirational than proper posh ime. In the same vein as the what/pardon and napkin/serviette debate except people who say Mummy are more likely to go to pony club.

UnquietDad Tue 27-Feb-07 17:10:09

I bet they are impossible to find, northerner.

DW's mum likes to be known by a name that doesn't exist. You can't get cards with it on.

northerner Tue 27-Feb-07 16:56:39

So xenia thinks 'Mum' is common!! Blimey, I come from Redcar and I have to call my Mum - MAM. She gets huffy if it's any other. Even complains if I don't get a acrd with 'happy birthdya Mam' on the front.

Judy1234 Tue 27-Feb-07 16:53:57

Although the trouble with Enid Blyton is the sexism. When we were 12 my sister and I would read aloud bits of her books to each other and we would reverse the names so the girls would say the boys' lines - that really showed the inherent sexism of it and how people were in those days.

UnquietDad Tue 27-Feb-07 16:28:32

Dinner at lunchtime. With nan. Before going into the lounge to sit on the sofa.

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 16:26:52

<Snort> at "thank goodness for Enid Blyton".

That would be a brilliant title for a TV programme. A parentin one? A comedy? Hmm. <Ponders>

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 16:25:52

LOL. D'you think mums have dinner at lunchtime?

Judy1234 Tue 27-Feb-07 15:05:33

It just annoys me that the twins' school reading books are full of black children, disabled children,, mothers with window cleaning jobs etc etc and poor children etc but they never ever encompass our world. it's so biased and unfair. Why should we not be part of this inclusion? Why can't some of their books use mummy and others not? Thank goodness for Enid Blyton. In fact when I read aloud to the twins I always substitute mum for mummy. Sometimes they don't notice and sometimes they do.

JustSometimes Tue 27-Feb-07 14:41:33

Mummy / Daddy
Ma / Pa
Dad / Mum
Maman /Papa
Mutter / Vater (pronouced Farter - always made me smile at school)

Whatever we've been brought up to call someone close is normal to those who have been brought up that way. Strange to those who haven't. Some children call their parents by their first names, which can be also odd to some and normal to others.

Doesn't make any difference to me. A name is a name. Are we being over critical and is the expectation for us to all follow the social norm?

Think it depends on you called your grandparents.
I love Granny, cos mine is Granny, but my mum likes to be Nanna, cos she had a nanna that she adored.

dmo Tue 27-Feb-07 14:09:03

my bil calls his parents mummy and daddy its an irish thing
my dh calls his parents mum and dad
and sil calls them by their first names

all bizzare if you ask me

UnquietDad Tue 27-Feb-07 13:33:19

Huge cultural/regional/class complexities to be unravelled in what people call their grandmothers. It's almost as complicated as what people call their meals!

lynniep Tue 27-Feb-07 13:29:34

We're due with our first DC in a couple of days and my DH has decided he wants us to start calling each other 'mother' and 'father' Yes its 95% tongue in cheek but I reckon that last 5% is deadly serious, but then he's always been a bit, um, eccentric - thats why I love him!

I agree with comments on regional variations - for instance a lot of my family are from the County Durham and Teesside area, and it was fairly standard when I was young for kids to use 'mam' as opposed to 'mum', as my dad did to his mother. My step-mum called her parents mummy and daddy though until they passed away when she was in her fifties, which contradicts my previous sentence! I think thats a bit odd, and stopped calling my dad 'daddy' when I was about 14 I think.

Its a lot to do with individuals perception of a 'title'. I use my step-mums forename, but when referring to her I don't use 'step-mam' because I think it sounds a bit rough with my accent (sort of mish mash northern).
My step-mum refuses to be called 'granny' or 'grandma' because she thinks it makes herself old and grey - instead she prefers 'nanna'.

My MIL (from Cheshire) prefers 'grandma' because she thinks 'nanna' sounds common! I used 'nanny' for mine, but I was brought up by her, so it was kind of a substitute for 'mummy' My own mother calls herself 'mom', as she's lived in the USA for nearly 30 years, but I use her forename as I don't know her very well. Otherwise I think its a bit insulting to call a parent by their forename, as if they have been demoted from their important role in some way

Troutpout Tue 27-Feb-07 13:27:29

pmsl Xenia
you are funny

southeastastra Tue 27-Feb-07 13:25:27

heheh xenia

Judy1234 Tue 27-Feb-07 13:23:10

I hate mum. Even the name of this site makes it down market and working class with that dreadful name of "mumsnet" Yuck. Who calls their mother mum - it's disgusting. Mummy all the way whatever your age.

Mummies of the UK unite against dumbing down to mum. My grown up children call me mummy. Lots of their friends call their mother mummy.

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 12:47:15

Oh I think it's horrible calling your MIL/ mother something she doesn't want to be called.

Wait till you have grandchildren and they call you something you hate.

Troutpout Tue 27-Feb-07 12:40:24


cremolafoam Tue 27-Feb-07 12:26:18

Mother and dad

agree 'mummy' from a grown up is wierdy

DumbledoresGirl Tue 27-Feb-07 12:21:59

Oh sorry, mis-read your post. Ignore me. Well, I was ignored anyway!

DumbledoresGirl Tue 27-Feb-07 12:17:20

piglit, what should a grown man call his mother then?

piglit Tue 27-Feb-07 11:55:12

<shudder> at a dh calling his dw mother/mum/mummy and vice versa.

marthamoo Tue 27-Feb-07 11:54:15

Which is exactly what ernest just said (really should read the thread properly...)

marthamoo Tue 27-Feb-07 11:53:37

I haven't called my Mum "Mummy" for at least 30 years. I was sad when ds1 stopped calling me Mummy though.

Tell you what is weird...husbands and wives calling each other "Mum" and "Dad" - dh's parents do this. Not as in saying to dh and his siblings "can you ask your Dad such and such?" but to each other, eg.,"would you like a cup of tea, Dad?" If dh ever calls me Mum I'll think he's lost the plot.

ernest Tue 27-Feb-07 11:46:06

my bf calls her dh daddy, and he calls her 'mother'. "what's for dinner, mother?" etc. tbh, it really REALLY get on my tits. to me, that sounds really wanky. She's your wife not your f*king mother!!!!!!!!!! Grr. There. Feel better for that.

LieselVentouse Tue 27-Feb-07 11:40:02

Thats very posh isnt it?

northerner Tue 27-Feb-07 11:31:35

My MIL calls her Mum Mumy, even when she is talking about her. ie 'Oh I ahve to go and meet Mummy'

northerner Tue 27-Feb-07 11:29:14

I hate it when grown ups call their parents mummy and daddy. Makes me cringe tbh.

My dh calls his Dad Papa, but that's because he is French. DS calles his Grandad Pepere. Dh calls his step mum Mutti, did find this a bit odd at first but kind of used to it now.....

firejumper Tue 27-Feb-07 11:19:48

We call my father papa. not parpar, but papa as in papi, not pretensious as somebody on here told me it was, its just a family thing i gues my mother was always mom or if we wanted something momma.

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Feb-07 11:03:24

I am called grandma but it sounds ridiculous to me anyway..

I would hate to be i get that when dd is trying to wind me up

jambomum Tue 27-Feb-07 11:00:48

I totally agree with Mala that if you don't like 'grandmummy' then you shouldn't use it. But I think you and dh have to agree what the names will be.

dh and I did this, as his mother wanted to be 'nanny' and I put my foot down and said it was horrid. He agreed and although he refused to confront his mother, we just started referring to her as Grandma and now ds uses it and she does too.

ScummyMummy Tue 27-Feb-07 10:57:02

Sorry- always think of Nigel as sweet but dim, not mummy utterers generally.

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Feb-07 10:53:05

I would say not a sign of being dim at all
very merchant banker

moopymoo Tue 27-Feb-07 10:48:21

all a bit little britain really. my exdh used to but his head on mil knee and say hello my lovely mummy. made me barf. im very posh and I call them mother and father.

My dd1 quite often calls me "mum-mum", or mama. Seems to depend on her mood. Also calls dh Dad-dad.
It's never been said by anyone, she seems to have come up with it all on her own.

ScummyMummy Tue 27-Feb-07 10:46:25

Yes- it is very Nigel, isn't it Aloha? Very faithful, sweet, slightly dim, public school.

ScummyMummy Tue 27-Feb-07 10:44:41

lol, sea and custy. I would definitely have to stop myself from visibly flinching but agree there's nothing you can do, Mala.

oxocube Tue 27-Feb-07 10:43:54


Aloha Tue 27-Feb-07 10:41:31

I'd find it creepy tbh. Sorry. Reminds me of Nigel in the Archers. Urk.

stleger Tue 27-Feb-07 10:40:42

Dh calls his mother 'granny' to her face and batgran behind her back.

Mala Tue 27-Feb-07 10:35:25

thankyou BandofMothers. I am not trying to change dh at all and I don't see how I am intruding. I don't want to hurt dh, which is why I am posting on MN. This is no means a huge issue in our marriage, I was just curious about how many people felt like I do.

oxocube Tue 27-Feb-07 10:35:08

I hate, hate, hate mum and dad and my kids only ever use mummy or daddy, but then they are 11, 9 and 5. I wonder when they'll move on to mum and dad - I think they'd sound pretty daft calling me mummy at 30.

But my real pet hate is people calling their parents by their first names (sorry if I'm offending here!). My 1st boyfriend had lefty trendy parents who insisted he called them by their names not mum and dad. I always thought it sounded really wanky

Molesworth Tue 27-Feb-07 10:32:09

Yes, that's true about the regional variations, but it's a posh thing in England I would say, especially the south east.

It's a great section. Some very interesting threads have appeared. It's a great way to find out if you're in the majority or if you really are an unreasonable old cowbag!!!

GooseyLoosey Tue 27-Feb-07 10:30:12

Know it sounds posh, but isn't necessarily. SIL lives in Northern Ireland and it seems to be very common there and there is no way you could call SIL posh or even aspirational

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 10:29:00

No she didn't, she put it in the "Am I unreasonable?" section.

I LOVE this section. It's been a great success.

Tortington Tue 27-Feb-07 10:28:47

this is so tricky and sums my schitzoid life up.

my first instinct is to laugh and say '"tosser" then i realise my 17 yo ds calls me mummy - when he wants something. <ahem>

FGS, she's not trying to intrude on it or change it, she just wanted to know if any one else found it annoying!!
She's already said that twice.

MrsJohnCusack Tue 27-Feb-07 10:20:05

on the grandmummy thing, if she has no preference, then perhaps you can just gently keep using 'grandma' with both DD and GM and hopefully DH will be alone in using grandmummy

you do get stuck with things though from family traditions etc - am stuck with nana for my mother now as that's what SIL already decided my nieces would call her ages ago, and my mother says she can't cope with having 2 different names. FIL has a totally insane moniker, nothing I can do about it though so I'll just get used to it.

OldieMum Tue 27-Feb-07 10:15:05

Sorry to go against the consensus here, but if he's spent 40 years calling her 'mummy' then presumably it's what they both want him to call her. I can't see that you have the right to intrude on that, quite honestly.

itsmeNDaveP Tue 27-Feb-07 10:14:22

I find it really cringy


edam Tue 27-Feb-07 10:10:38

Just glad no-one is insisting on grandmama. I know some people who do!

Mala Tue 27-Feb-07 10:09:10

Caligula - Dh's mother refers to herself as grandma, it's dh who refers to her as grandmummy.
Like I said before, I don't expect him to change what he calls his own mother, nor have I voiced my dislike to him. I find it irritating and wondered how many other people did(seems to be 50/50 on here).However, with my dd, I would prefer grandma, especially as said grandma has no preference.

Molesworth Tue 27-Feb-07 10:07:36

PS the nephews are teenagers

Molesworth Tue 27-Feb-07 10:06:46

I would pmsl if dp did this too I'm afraid.

DP's nephews are mummiers and daddiers and I always pmsl (discreetly) when I hear it.

It is a posh thing and I find it ridiculous. But each to their own.

JARM Tue 27-Feb-07 10:06:23

I call my dad, dad or daddy, depending what mood im in!

mum was always mum, very rarely mummy if i wanted something

DH has a mum and dad, but usually "my mother" in a sarcastic tone when she isnt around

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Feb-07 10:06:15

my kids only call me mummy if they want something

I do the same daughter dearest, mummy would love a nice cup of tea/sunday paper/some stamps

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 10:03:36

I will be very annoyed if any DIL of mine starts telling my children they've got to call me something different to what they do already. <Sharpens battleaxe>

Unless of course, they habitually call me MadOleBat. In which case I'll like my DIL.

Bozza Tue 27-Feb-07 10:01:56

DH and I both use Mum and Dad, as do all our siblings. Our DCs call us Mummy and Daddy though. I would let DS relax a bit from that now (he is 6) but still want to be Mummy to 2yo DD.

LittleSarah Tue 27-Feb-07 10:00:31

Ugh. No you are not being unreasonable IMO, that is really quite hideous.

Everytime I hear an adult use the word 'mummy' I cringe.

soph28 Tue 27-Feb-07 09:58:16

My parents always INSISTED on mummy and daddy too. We were not allowed to call them anything else. If it was the same for your dh you'll probably find that it's not something you can just stop doing. It's as strange as someone that you've always called 'bob' deciding that he now wants to be called 'dave' IFYSWIM!

piglit Tue 27-Feb-07 09:57:52

My dh calls his mum and dad "mummy" and "daddy". Took a bit of getting used to but doesn't bother me now. I think I'll be sad when my dses stop calling me "mummy" tbh.

HuwEdwards Tue 27-Feb-07 09:57:00

my 4 and 6yo only rarely call me mummy. I would pmsl if I heard dp call his mum 'mummy'.

edam Tue 27-Feb-07 09:53:34

I'm 38 and still call my mother mummy if I'm addressing her directly because she prefers it and has always insisted on it (she's quite posh although I'm not, particularly). Call her 'my mother' if I'm speaking about her to others.

My father would be happy with 'Dad' but calling my mother mummy means I can't stop calling him daddy - mummy is so ingrained it kind of keeps daddy with it, somehow.

LOL Kittylette. I sometimes do the "mummyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" thing when I want something, usually a babysitter.
My dd1 (3) is already catching on to that one. <sigh>

kittylette Tue 27-Feb-07 09:49:30

daddy-dearest and mumsies-poo lol

Can see your point with the mummy bit from dd.
Would probably just laugh at dh if he did it.
My mum is really cool and she my older brother and me used to go to the pub together when I was a teenager. No one ever believed she was our mum, so my brother used to embarass her by shouting "MUMSIE" across the pub. It was funny and he still calls her it now sometimes, but only to be silly.
(We're a silly kind of family)

kittylette Tue 27-Feb-07 09:46:12

i call him daddy because im his baby girl and i love him so much

my mum is 'mam' unless i want a ride somewhere or some money, then shes mummy lol

Mala Tue 27-Feb-07 09:43:44

I guess as his dh dad always refers to dh mum as mummy, it is something he grew up with. However, his brothers now call her mum. At the end of the day it is his business and I haven't said anything to him, it's just something I find grating to the ear. I know many people find mum horrible, especially when said by young children.

However, I really don't like dd calling her grandma 'grandmummy' and I always refer to her as grandma. I know it is petty in a way and have nothing against his mum by the way, I just don't want anyone else but me to be referred to as mummy(by dd not dh! )

I think it sounds grimola coming from anyone over 8, unless they are excruciatingly posh in which case I just consider it local dialect

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Feb-07 09:38:41

if you do and you aren't posh then it's aspirational

my cousins are posh and do mummy and daddy

I only did this with irony once i got past ten

DumbledoresGirl Tue 27-Feb-07 09:37:56

Oh sorry Fio, I don't mean anything rude by what I said. I don't know if I can express in words what I mean by that: just that people who call their mother "Mother" have a different relationship to the one I have with mine. That is not a bad thing by any means. I literally just meant, it means something different to me, but not a judgemental something different.

<DG shuffles off - might even call my Mummy and seek comfort with her - on second thoughts, no!>

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 09:35:46

My cousin calls her mum Mummy and she's common as muck

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Feb-07 09:35:10

I used to call my parents mater and pater as a joke then it morphed into mattie and pattie

kittylette Tue 27-Feb-07 09:34:51

and im definatly not posh! lol

kittylette Tue 27-Feb-07 09:34:12

i call my dad 'daddy'

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 09:33:20


Everyone thinks I'm posh and have a nanny as well!

NadineBaggott Tue 27-Feb-07 09:33:15


FioFio Tue 27-Feb-07 09:33:06


southeastastra Tue 27-Feb-07 09:32:35

i used to work in kensington and most of the managers referred to their mummies all the time. i confused them once by telling them my son was being looked after by his nanny. they thought i'd suddenly gone up in the world.

FluffyMummy123 Tue 27-Feb-07 09:31:36

Message withdrawn

Lilliput Tue 27-Feb-07 09:31:04

my dad who is in his 60's called his parents mummy and daddy all their lives, they have only recently died. It is a class thing, my parents went the total opposite to their upbringing, became kind of hippies and we called them by their names. I have never called my parents mum and dad.

FluffyMummy123 Tue 27-Feb-07 09:30:34

Message withdrawn

NadineBaggott Tue 27-Feb-07 09:30:07

as long as its not old git, what does it matter?

FluffyMummy123 Tue 27-Feb-07 09:30:04

Message withdrawn

It's a posh thing, many of my employers have called their Parents Mummy/Daddy...You get used to it though I have to say I find it rather babyish!

FioFio Tue 27-Feb-07 09:29:08

caligula, my mother insists on nany aswell

Caligula Tue 27-Feb-07 09:28:25


He can call his mother what he wants. I think it's a bit intrusive to object, tbh.

Also with the grandmother thing, it's up to the Grandmother to decide what she wants to be called imo. My mother insists on Nanny, which I think is hideous, but hey, that's what she wants, so that's what she is.

FioFio Tue 27-Feb-07 09:28:09

why what does mother mean?

DumbledoresGirl Tue 27-Feb-07 09:27:40

Yes "mother" means a whole different thing again in my book.

Look, it could be worse. My dh (sometimes, jokingly, well quite often actually) calls his parents Mater and Pater. I really cringe at that.

MrsJohnCusack Tue 27-Feb-07 09:26:41

it does kind of depend what's normal in the family. am afraid I have a mummy too - we're not really posh, it's just what they get called on her side of the family and it feels forced to change the habit because of what other people might think to be honest!

FluffyMummy123 Tue 27-Feb-07 09:26:19

Message withdrawn

FioFio Tue 27-Feb-07 09:25:54

I doubt its about class, I call my mum 'Mother'

DumbledoresGirl Tue 27-Feb-07 09:24:34

It is a class thing darhling. I still call my parents Mummy and Daddy and I am over 40. I would like to show my class a little less and call them Mum and Dad (I see my brother has sometimes managed to do this) but it would feel odd calling them by another name, like calling my husband Bernard (not his real name, no offence to Bernards out there!)

FioFio Tue 27-Feb-07 09:24:23

does he ask for bitty too?

Ummm.... my sis and I still call our Mum 'mummy' occasionally like wise with 'daddy'..b but its a wider family thing anyway.

zippitippitoes Tue 27-Feb-07 09:21:55

it just means he is uber posh..if this means he is also uber rich I would just smile benignly

wotzsaname Tue 27-Feb-07 09:20:34

Habbits are hard to break, but it would make me 'ugh'!

At school I had a friend from when she was 10 call her parents by their first names, this was in the 70's. Very modern I thought at the time.

ledodgyDave Tue 27-Feb-07 09:17:19

Urgh it would grate on me too.

Mala Tue 27-Feb-07 09:16:44

Always think mummy sounds horrible, unless the person is under 16. I mean it's okay as a one off, but as an adult I prefer mum. Also don't like dd calling her grandmother "grandmummy"(which is how dh will often refer her as).

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