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AIBU?

To wonder if it's still possible for me to get married and have a baby?

80 replies

sunflowers14 · 24/01/2017 17:43

36 on Saturday.

Come on. I can take it Smile

OP posts:
Patienceisvirtuous · 24/01/2017 17:45

Met DH when I was 35 (4 years ago). Married last year at 38, 6 months pg now at 39. So yes, absolutely!!

fuzzywuzzy · 24/01/2017 17:47

I got together with dp six months before I turned 36. Two years later I'm expecting our first dc together.

Patienceisvirtuous · 24/01/2017 17:47

One thing I will say though, if you meet someone special, don't delay ttc. It's taken us three years (with three losses along the way) to get to this point...

sunflowers14 · 24/01/2017 17:54

Thanks. How did you all meet your partners? I have dabbled with online but find it a bit intimidating (stupid word I know!)

OP posts:
maplepixie · 24/01/2017 17:57

I want to get married too :( I've got a DS but feeling really lonely. Don't get to go out to meet anyone and sick of the amount of weirdos dating apps attract...

sunflowers14 · 24/01/2017 18:02

That must be hard, being a single mum Flowers

OP posts:
Jjacobb · 24/01/2017 18:04

There is time, I met Dh at work when I was 34. Got married at 36 and had Ds at 39. Then adopted DD when I was 46.

fuzzywuzzy · 24/01/2017 18:05

I met dp at work.

Do you have friends who would play matchmaker or anything? I also set up a friend with a work colleague.

Namelesswonder · 24/01/2017 18:06

Married at 36, 2DD by the time I was 41, so yes very possible.

sunflowers14 · 24/01/2017 18:06

Most of my friends are happily set up sadly ... i might have to try and be a bit more explicit about the fact I would actually like to meet someone, but I think most of them just think of me as permanently single!

OP posts:
Thornyrose7 · 24/01/2017 18:07

I had DD at 37 and got married at 39. You can also do it the other way round !. I felt a the baby was the priority for me.

I also know someone who has just adopted a gorgeous toddler and she is 50. Good luck with everything OP.

Frazzled2207 · 24/01/2017 18:08

Yes definitely. They're not married but my friend met her partner at 38 and had kids at 40 and 42.

I am a veteran of online dating. Try diving in headfirst and meet as many men as it takes. Meet them all quickly (ideally within a week), the more you chat (either online or on the phone) the clearer picture you build up of them which is ALWAYS wrong when you finally meet.

I took it very seriously, must have had around 30
"Dates". Then I met my husband.

fuzzywuzzy · 24/01/2017 18:09

You definitely need to tell them you're dating looking for a partner. If I hadn't known that about my friend I'd never ever have tried to set her up with work colleague.

Wouldn't want to interfere in a happily single friends life.

expatinscotland · 24/01/2017 18:09

I'd go for the baby now.

sunflowers14 · 24/01/2017 18:10

Online dating is really hard because I lack confidence and so when I get tepid interest, I think it's me!

OP posts:
juneau · 24/01/2017 18:10

Of course! I mean, you can get married at any age - 19 or 36 or 67. Having a baby - well most women are pretty fertile up to about 40 and many others manage to have babies easily in their early 40s. OLD strikes me as a very strange way to meet a life partner. I guess I'm old-fashioned (met DH before OLD really took off, so I never did it), but I can't see how you can tell who you're attracted to from one (undoubtedly very flattering), photo. I need to see someone, smell them, hear their voice, how they move, etc. Attraction is such a subtle and inexplicable thing. I'd never have got together with my DH via a dating app. So my advice would be to get out and do things, join things, say yes to invitations, go out for drinks after work, be socially active, suggest meeting up with other single friends to go out and do things where you'll meet other people, etc. Join a running club, start bell ringing, rock climbing, etc. Be proactive and be friendly. Make eye contact. Flirt! When I was single I was super social and I was never single for long.

sunflowers14 · 24/01/2017 18:11

The problem is, my mum and dad have both passed away Sad and so I'd struggle to raise a child alone. I also can't help but feel it would be really lonely.

OP posts:
Wigeon · 24/01/2017 18:12

My friend got remarried after 36 and is now on baby number 2 with new husband (well, baby 2 currently a bump)! She was very clear with friends that she was looking, and keen to go on dates, but in the end it was internet dating which worked. Good luck!

wobblywonderwoman · 24/01/2017 18:13

Get outvas much as you can.. Anyone you know who is going for a night out, social group or whatever. Drop the hint for an invite. Just get out there as much as you can.

user1482010870 · 24/01/2017 18:14

Yes! I remarried at 39 and had DD at 38 (before we married) and DS at 42.

juneau · 24/01/2017 18:15

I wouldn't have a baby alone. The hardest, loneliest thing I've ever done and I had a DH. Depends how important it is to you, I suppose. For me, it was about the whole package, not just having a baby.

onlyconnect · 24/01/2017 18:17

Yes, it can happen. I know someone who's just done this.

But I would consider a baby on my own rather than no baby.

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sunflowers14 · 24/01/2017 18:19

I do want the whole package so much but I also really want to be a Mum!

OP posts:
DisneyMillie · 24/01/2017 18:22

I've just got married - I'm 37 and had a baby last year. Met (well re-met) DH at a catch up with old school friends.

Friend had a baby at 42 on her own after deciding baby mattered more that waiting for a mr right. She's loving it.

So not too late!

Backhometothenorth · 24/01/2017 18:22

Yes it's possible! I met DP at work at 36, moved in together at 37 and had gorgeous DD1 at 39. I'm now 43 and have a beautiful DD2 who is 5 months old. Get yourself out there, be good to yourself and you will attract the right person.

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