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AIBU?

AIBU to put my notice in at the end of maternity leave?

88 replies

MGFM · 23/01/2017 14:49

I want to provide as much info as possible so you lovely people can help me see the pit falls and problems with what I want to do. And to see if you would suck it up and stick it out.

I am in the Navy. I earn good money £47k but I haven't progressed out of my rank since training as I have had babies and taken some non career type positions which haven't done me any favours career wise but which I have thoroughly enjoyed. I dont regret not chasing promotion but I am stagnant now and it is very frustrating.

I am on my second maternity leave. I am taking a full year and will be returning to work in October of this year. I really want to leave the navy. The positions available to me on return to work wont be great. They will be mundane and actually quite boring. The situation is that if I do a full 12 years in the Navy I will get a £10k resettlement grant. Pension will be lump sum of £14k at 65 and pension of £4,600 at 65 and then a top up at 68 to £9,800.

If I put my notice in when i return to work - i have to work a years notice anyway - this is standard and will cover my return of service for mat leave. this would mean i would leave at 10 1/2 years done. I wouldnt be entitled to the £10k. Lump sum at 65 would be £14k, pension at 65 £4,600 and then top up to £8,000 when I am 68.

There is very little in it pension wise. The £10k is worth consideration.

Other issues - husband also in the Navy. Currently sea going. Will be deploying this year and then again within 18 months. I will be job hunting and trying to forge a second career (in god knows what) whilst he is away at sea. This is not ideal. If I wait until he is on dry land when I am due to leave 18 months later it will of course be a lot easier to focus on my career move.

Other points worthy of consideration - the Navy although no part time option, is very flexible. If the kids are sick or whatever it may be, then there is no problem with staying home with them. I can get a work laptop and work from home when needed. There will be a greater level of understanding of being full time working with two toddlers with a husband deployed.

But I really really hate my job and I want to leave! I cant stand the idea of staying in the navy till October 2020. Argh!! I dont know what to do.

Disclaimer: no benefits of any type will be claimed. DH earns £45k. I will not be a SAHM.

I just dont know what to do.

OP posts:
Browncurtains · 23/01/2017 14:55

I understand you hate it but I wouldn't leave right now in your place. The 10k is a huge amount for me and it's worth sticking out for. Also, you have some flexibility with your job in case kids fall sick etc whilst your husband is deployed, another job you mightn't have the same. I would stick it out to be honest for another 1.5 years to be honest. And look for another job in the meantime.

SootSprite · 23/01/2017 14:57

I would stick it out until you get the 10k.

FFTransform · 23/01/2017 14:59

Is there any chance that the working environment has changed while you are away? Same job but new people?

If you haven't got family support nearby you will be basically a single parent and unless you have a niche skill are going to find it hard to manage with a less flexible employer, can you get your cv ready and try applying for some jobs just to see what you can get?

Boulshired · 23/01/2017 14:59

I am ex navy, I did 12 years and I would factor in the resettlement time. My last year was taken with annual leave and courses. So whilst it may seem the extra time for lump sum is to long to handle it does go faster once notice is in.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 23/01/2017 15:00

Depends on how much of a difference £10,000 will make to you.
Personally, I'd stick it out for the £10k

MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:04

I wont be going back into the same job I was in when I went on Mat leave. Typically you only do 18 months - 2 years in one role and then rotate to something else. It is unusual to go back to the same job post mat leave as they will assign it to someone else. That doesnt bother me too much as I wasn't that fussed on that particular role anyway.

It isnt the people in one office that is the problem. It is the whole thing. An example - when I was pregnant I couldnt do certain things at work. In my place one day, some one slightly more senior to me filled in for me. Royally screwed it up. Made me look like a tit. When I tried to find out why it went so wrong, I pretty much got told by someone even more senior to shut up and know my place. I was junior blah blah.

I cant stand it. My rank is fine when you are new. When you have been in the rank for 8 years it grates as I am still dismissed as being junior etc when in fact I could make more of a contribution but my rank is holding me back. If that makes sense?

OP posts:
KathArtic · 23/01/2017 15:05

Can you spend the last year doing training courses that would benefit you on civvy street?

MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:05

I have in laws 10 mis away and more extended family on husbands side. But how much help they would be, I am not sure.

OP posts:
MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:06

All the training courses etc mostly become available in my last year. I can do some things before that but the real focus on job hunting etc is the last 12 months.

OP posts:
willconcern · 23/01/2017 15:09

I would wait for the £10k.

Why can't you go for a promotion when you go back, if being in the rank you are is frustrating you? It sounds as though there are many benefits to being in the Navy in relation to childcare etc. especially while your DH is deployed on ship.

Do you have any careers assistance? Or maternity return to work discussions?

Boulshired · 23/01/2017 15:09

But the reality is there will be that in any job you go into. I am glad I left the navy but life when shoreside was the easiest workplace I have worked in. My biggest regret about my time in the navy was not doing enough studying and courses.

Dixiechickonhols · 23/01/2017 15:09

What type of role do you do or hope to do. 47k is fantastic for mundane (more than qualified experienced solicitors where I work) I assume you get sick pay etc too plus like you say understanding if child sick/husband away. What do the types of roles you are likely to get in private sector pay and what perks. I've found people who work in public sector don't always appreciate perks they have eg decent hols, dependents leave, sick pay and assume everyone gets them. If you are going similar job in private sector for 25k then have a month off unpaid for an op etc £47k and mundane may look very appealing. Mad to loose 10k too unless you really hate it.

girlelephant · 23/01/2017 15:11

I have no experience of the navy but to me £10k seems worth staying for. The caveat to that would be unless you were leaving for a higher paid job where you could make up the £10k in a couple of years.

As another PP said is there self-development activities you could do both to enjoy the role more and also to help further enhance your development skills? I knew someone years ago who worked in the navy (no idea of his seniority etc) who did leadership and project management courses/qualifications which helped to him prepare for leaving the navy on retirement and moving into a new industry. Worked really well for him as by the time he left he did not have to pay back the external qualifications/courses he had attained and moved into a senior role in his new industry.

MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:11

Career is dead in the water. There is a promotion zone and I am now out of it. I chose roles that wouldnt benefit my naval career - when all my peers were forging on with driving ships etc, I was doing language courses and language jobs. Then had two babies. No recovery now unless i want to make substantial family and personal sacrifice - moving me and kids away from base port for example - it has been offered but as far as I am concerned it isnt an option.

OP posts:
girlelephant · 23/01/2017 15:13

Sorry OP just cross posted with you re your last year. What about qualifications you could do in your own time and fund yourself, would this add value to you and help you feel more motivated by studying on your own time? If so is this feasible with god family situation?

MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:14

I will be doing all the project management, leadership courses as well. I have addition financial support from navy for all of that. I will start booking those things when i get back from mat leave. Working it around my husbands programme.

OP posts:
MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:15

The 10k is of course a lot of money. I would probably spend it on a new kitchen or a fancy holiday. Or pay off some of mortgage. It wouldnt be the end of the world not to have it though.

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 15:16

I cant stand the idea of staying in the navy till October 2020.

It sounds like ages away but it's not! It's 2.5/3 years. You already have to serve a years notice once you go back this October. I really would stick it out if you could.

MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:19

I guess I wanted you all to say that life is too short etc. lol I know sticking it out is the sensible option.

OP posts:
mistermagpie · 23/01/2017 15:19

I know nothing about the navy but what do you actually do? And what would you be looking for once out of the navy?

The reason i ask is that you are on pretty good money just now, would you earn a comparable or greater salary once you were out of the navy? If not I would stick it out for the 10k. it's really not that long an amount of time and if you are going back to a different job, you might find you enjoy it more?

mistermagpie · 23/01/2017 15:20

Well life is too short. It's too short to walk away from 10 grand!

Catherinebee85 · 23/01/2017 15:21

If you're desperate to leave then do it. You say you can't stick it out to get the 10k (I would!) But if that's going to make you miserable then don't.

Feel like you need a better plan though...are your navy acquired skills transferable? Have you thought about what you want to do? Would it be worth going for a couple of jobs you fancy just to get your interview skills up to scratch and to see what your wage would potentially be? I know at this stage you would turn them down but it might be worth an experiment. Navy interviews are probably very different to others!

The navy sounds like it fits perfectly with your family though so I don't think I could leave tbh in your shoes...but then I'm not a gambler x

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MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:23

My core job in tbe navy isn't very transferable unless I want to go and work on other ships! Which I don't. I have a degree and a masters. Language related. I would be looking at ex military training schemes. Starting salary is comparable. I have a few friends on them now.

OP posts:
MGFM · 23/01/2017 15:24

Like graduate training schemes only you start with better salary and in a better position.

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 15:24

Life is actually (if you're lucky) quite long and 2.5/3 years after 9/10 already worked is a drop in the ocean compared to the rest of your life. I would suck it up not only for the financial gain but also because it seems that you'll be in a better position to job search properly in a couple of years rather than while DH is away. Plus your baby will be closer to nursery school age then which might make a difference in giving you some headspace to job search properly.

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