To have left niece's birthday party

ItsBritneyBitch82 · 2017-01-21 19:56:36

Sorry if this is long and for any spelling, typing on phone. Niece is 8. She had a "disco party" this afternoon/evening. SIL doesn't have much money so this was at a pretty grotty social club. There were at least 30 kids there, you could hear the music from outside and inside was dark, LOUD (so much so that you could feel the bass of the music not to mention the screaming kids and DJ'a voice booming out every five seconds) and lots of flashing lights. No where quiet to sit, tables around the DJ/dance floor with a few small tables towards the back of the room. I gave birth to DD 8 weeks ago. First baby. I am EBF and have been slowly trying to feed more in public/at social gatherings to build my confidence. In fact I have been trying to go out more full stop! Generally fine at cafes, restaurants and other people's houses. I was apprehensive before we went to this party. I wasn't sure it would be suitable for DD and I was worried about having somewhere quieter to sit. DH wanted to go as it's his family and he is really close to his niece. I was worried about the noise and also about feeding DD so I made him promise that if I was uncomfortable or she wasn't happy we could find a quiet place to sit. We didn't even last half an hour there. DD was nervous from the minute we got inside and getting increasingly fractious. She started rooting which I strongly suspected was more for comfort given that she only fed an hour before we got there. Anyway I fed her at the back of the room but every time the bass jumped or the DJ shouted she jumped. She was getting more and more anxious and upset which was horrible for me to watch as an anxious new mum, so I asked DH if he would come and sit in the other room with me. The other room being open to the public and full of men watching football. Either that or the women's toilets which I didn't want to feed her in as a matter of principe! He got really arsey and told me I was being rude by not socialising with his family! He then started going off on one about how I always go out with my family and never take the baby out with his. For background I am really close to my mum and we always go out together. I also think it's natural for a daughter to turn to her own mum and so of course I have spent a lot more time with her and the baby than I have his mum. But I have been out with his family and have been very accommodating of visits from them all to see DD. Anyway, probably because I am still hormonal and the whole experience was making me anxious I ended up in tears because I felt unsupported by him. All I wanted to do was take DD away from the noise so she wouldn't cry and could feed. It ended up me feeding her in the car and DH shouting at me for ruining his day. Then MIL got involved by coming out to the car making excuses for DH and offering advice on how to feed and also commenting that another family member's five month old was in there asleep which felt like a dig that my DD was unhappy! I couldn't face going back in when I had obviously been crying, so I left. Am I wrong in thinking DH should have supported me? Was I BU to leave?

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This thread has been deleted

Hello. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment here. The OP has been in touch to let us know this thread is causing her a few problems IRL, so we have agreed to take it down for her.