Episode 1: DD (age 8) has gone for a playdate which is extended into a sleepover so I go to drop some stuff off and when I get there she is crying and wants to come home. BFMum is a bit baffled and says DD and BF just had a bit of a tiff but I can hear BFDad shouting at BF whilst I am talking to BFMum. I leave with DD. BFDad starts shouting even louder once we have left, so loud that we can still hear him inside the car 20ft from the house. DD maintains that she just wanted to come home because she missed us.
Episode 2 (about a week later): DD gets dropped off after an outing with BF & parents. She comes in saying "that was a bit traumatic". BFDad had pulled over and parked blocking someone's drive in order to shout at BF, had called her a spoilt brat, said he was going to delete her favourite new app and had thrown/dropped her phone (though DD thinks this might have been accidental). BFMum had noticed DD's face and asked him to stop because he was frightening DD but he'd said he didn't care. DD referred to this incident for several days afterwards saying she was 'still thinking about it' or 'still traumatised'.
BFMum did not dispute DD's version of events and said she had taken issue with BFDad's shouting herself but said you were allowed to tell your own children off in front of other children. I said that it sounded more like verbal abuse than a telling off and I did not want BFDad to shout in front of my DD. BFDad said that DD is too sensitive and that he will tell his own child off whenever he wants to. Both maintain it was just a normal telling off. The implication is that we are overreacting and that by asking for assurances (that BFDad will not shout) that cannot be given, we are ending DD and BF's friendship.
Very grateful for opinions. Thank you
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AIBU?
To expect DD's BF's parents not to shout when DD is with them
46 replies
RitaSnorer · 21/01/2017 02:39
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