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AIBU?

To be annoyed (and upset) by my sister and her DH?

131 replies

C0dy · 10/12/2016 12:16

Me and my 4 siblings were left some shares by our late father. The shares did not split exactly into 5 so my youngest sister had one less. It was agreed if we ever benefited financially then we would even that share our by giving her a goth of the price of the share.

The company was sold a few weeks ago and we all got a considerable amount of money (in excess of £50,000). The check itself took a while to be posted out and the funds only cleared in my account a few days ago.

It was agreed when they were sold that we would give my youngest sister the money at Christmas (it works out about £15 from each sibling so £60 all together) and she was fine with this.

Anyway, yesterday me and my other siblings received a message from her DH stating that 'it was getting ridiculous' and sister wants the money now as she is 'anxious' and we have had 'plenty of time' to sort it. I am really upset. I have seven kids (well five of them are over 18 now) a full time job and generally really busy around Christmas (lots to buy etc). Besides this, it was agreed we would give it at Christmas and does she really need the £15 right now?

AIBU to be upset and think he is being extremely rude or is it is for not giving the money straight away?

As to not drip feed her DH has form for speaking for her and doing things similar to this (he has made mum cry with his comments before).

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 10/12/2016 12:18

No she's not being unreasonable -you should have given the money as soon as the cheque cleared imo.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 10/12/2016 12:19

YANBU
If she has just had a windfall of £50k+ then getting anxious about £15 is slightly bonkers!

DesignedForLife · 10/12/2016 12:19

YANBU he's overstepping the mark talking for her and demanding money now. Sounds like you and your sisters have it all organised already.

TheNaze73 · 10/12/2016 12:20

The amount is irrelevant. YABU & should have given her the money right away.

user1477282676 · 10/12/2016 12:20

Why haven't you transferred it though? It takes 3 minutes to make an online transfer.

followTheyellowbrickRoad · 10/12/2016 12:21

Is it worth falling out over £15, I would just send her the money now. Why wait until Christmas

RougeSeas · 10/12/2016 12:23

Yabu

She's taken less so the rest of you got more..why didn't one of you take less?

She's owed the money, why is your need more important than hers

Money is ugly.

Imnotaslimjim · 10/12/2016 12:23

She's just received over £50,000 and is fretting over £60? Are you certain it's her that's fretting and not him?

On the other hand, while I understand Christmas is a stressful time of year, it's 2 weeks away, surely you can find 5 minutes to do a quick bank transfer? Then it's out of your hair and you can forget about it.

SheldonCRules · 10/12/2016 12:25

YABU, did you really need to wait for the cheque to clear? It takes two minutes to send money electronically, having a job and children is no excuse.

Why Christmas? It's not a gift but a decision from a will.

purplefizz26 · 10/12/2016 12:25

YABU

The amount is irrelevant really, it literally takes minutes these days to to an online transfer, there is no need to delay it.

gamerchick · 10/12/2016 12:26

Yeah you should have done it straight away. Bit shocking really you've all benefited but are making her wait for your words (and that's all they are at this point, you could all go back on it) to become truth. Just transfer the money.

C0dy · 10/12/2016 12:26

Thanks all. Sorry should have added I offered to transfer it last night but she wants me to drop the cash off. I have sent it with DS3 as her house is about a 40 minuet drive from me. I didn't do it prior to this as she agreed she was happy to wait until Christmas. I was upset by the way the text was worded, small amounts of money have been owed between family members in the past and it has always been paid - it's not like we are trying to swindle her.

I am happy to accept IABU, but I have to say I would rather she had made it clear she wanted the money immediately and it could have been arranged then.

OP posts:
Mulberry72 · 10/12/2016 12:27

So all 5 of you received over £50k each, and then 4 of you are to give sibling 5 £15 each, have I got that right?

If I have then he is BU, but if it was me I would transfer the £15 today to prevent any more silly messages being sent.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 10/12/2016 12:27

But in the time it took to start this thread you could have arranged her bank transfer?

I'm not trying to be obtuse in writing that - it's just that you're not actually too busy to arrange it, you're just annoyed that it's £15 and you're being chivvyed along for such a small sum. But the sum is irrelevant really.

Sorry.

MazDazzle · 10/12/2016 12:27

Is there a mistake in the OP?

I assumed it was £15K surely?

gamerchick · 10/12/2016 12:27

It really doesn't matter how much its for tbh.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 10/12/2016 12:28

Just seen your latest post. I would have transferred the cash anyway, and just said "sorry already done a BT". If it's inconvenient for you to drop the cash off that's fair enough. If she wanted it in cash she should have come to you.

SnatchedPencil · 10/12/2016 12:28

You are being unreasonable. She has the right to that money and you have no right to withhold it from her. It sounds like she got picked on when the shares were allocated - being the youngest, she was least important - and I suspect that consciously or not you are using this power to massage your ego now.

If you are struggling to find £15 now then that just goes to show that to some people it is a significant sum of money - so you can't really complain that "she doesn't really need it right now"!

Pay her immediately.

abbsisspartacus · 10/12/2016 12:28

Its £15? You are better off by £15? Not £15,000?

Scooby20 · 10/12/2016 12:28

This is clearly not about the amount. Sounds like it's the principle.

Why did you want to wait until Christmas?

DollyPlastic · 10/12/2016 12:29

Do you mean £15k?

C0dy · 10/12/2016 12:30

We still all got over 57000. We agreed to wait because initially when we talked about paying her she said leave it until Christmas because its such a small amount in comparison to the total amount.

OP posts:

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abbsisspartacus · 10/12/2016 12:30

Wont it cost that much in fuel to get it there?

Quintessing · 10/12/2016 12:30

I am also confused about the amounts.

You got how much? And she gets 60 pounds??? 15 from each of you?

C0dy · 10/12/2016 12:31

No I mean £15. Obviously if it was 15K I would pay it!

We all had a significant number of shares, she had one less than the rest of us, not none!

OP posts:
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