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AIBU?

Worried about children's reactions to Christmas presents

111 replies

Lionking1981 · 08/12/2016 23:09

I know I am being silly but I feel terrible. My kids 8 and 6 very much believe in santa but I have not had a great year financially. Their Christmas lists were huge and included everything from the adverts. I come from a working class culture that you do without in November and December to give the children everything you can't afford all year round. It sounds stupid but I believed in santa until I was 11 because I just knew my family couldn't afford the stuff we had at Christmas. I didn't know that we were eating healthy meals while my parents were living on beans on toast.

Dh is from a middle class family and thinks we are completely mad. This year the kids are older and asking for more expensive stuff.

8 year old has a kindle, a furby connect, a playmobil set and 2 books. 6 year old has a 2ds, furby connect, a little lego set, a game and 2 books. I'm worried they are going to be very disappointed on Christmas Day and even my mum said it didn't look a lot all wrapped up but we only have 250 pounds left until next payday. We have got some lovely plans over Christmas seeing family, going on a santa day out and the panto and I'm hoping this will mean more to them than the commercialism. But they are used to having a big pile of presents and this will not look as much. I will be gutted if they are sad when they compare their cousins gifts. Dh thinks I am being ridiculous and I probably am.

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 08/12/2016 23:16

Sounds like a nice selection of gifts to me.

Our ds is 5yo and is getting one £40 set of Playmobil, nothing elecronic, some fun things he'll love (police siren for his bike, cool dinosaur stilts from Tiger, connect-4).

If you are also doing some lovely daytrips and things, that is what they will remember.

We have most of us been through lean times Flowers

SoftSheen · 08/12/2016 23:17

That sounds like plenty to me, my children will be getting less! If you just want to increase the size of their present piles, how about wrapping up a selection box, and maybe some new socks/underwear that you would have to buy anyway. Definitely don't buy more than you can afford.

glitterazi · 08/12/2016 23:17

Flowers as I know exactly how you feel. This year is crap financially for us too.
(Still barely bought any presents here, only a few - waiting until next week when I have a bit of spare money. Not a lot, but still some money is more than I have right now!)
At 8 and 6, seriously, the amount you spend on them is not important. All they're bothered about at that age is having presents to unwrap.
Monetary value is not what it's all about.
Kindle, Furby, playmobil all sounds great. They'll love unwrapping that.

attheendoftheday · 08/12/2016 23:19

I think they sound like very decent christmas haul. They are hardly going without! Will they get any presents for anyone other than you?

If they are used to having larger piles could you do something to bulk up the presentation? So, wrap things in bigger boxes (or a box in a box in a box iyswim).

Another idea would be to gift vouchers (e.g. extra screen time if this is limited, getting out of chores, a trip to the park or whatever).

MycatsaPirate · 08/12/2016 23:21

Mine aren't getting much more in terms of actual number of presents either.

Teen is getting a printer for going to uni and has a few other bits, but nothing majorly expensive.

DD2 has five lego sets (all bought on 3 for 2 or on sale). She has a few little stocking fillers but that's pretty much it.

Will your dc get presents from other people in the family? Also you can go to the pound shop or another cheap shop and bulk out the presents with colouring sets/bags of sweets/chocolates etc but ultimately you've bought them brilliant presents (I'm getting a new kindle too!!) and I'm sure they will be very happy.

winnybella · 08/12/2016 23:22

I think it's enough. Are they getting stockings and gifts from relatives? I would perhaps add some cheap craft sets/ stationery/ chocolate so they have more to open? I think you certainly have enough main or 'wow' gifts.

Moanranger · 08/12/2016 23:23

Go to Poundland, charity shops, & find cheap basic games - board games, puzzles, etc & wrap & put under tree.
My older DCs basically want money, so we would have nothing under tree so I buy stuff like favourite jam, digestives, whatever & wrap. Of course they want the latest advertised stuff, but kids like all presents in general.

TheOriginalFactoryMum · 08/12/2016 23:25

I make a massive 'stocking' for each of my kids (now 14 and 11 but still love it the most of all their presents I think!) with loads of little things from Poundland, Wilkos etc. There are some amazing things in those cheap shops if you are 'creative' e.g. silly wigs, stationery, daft CDs that you can listen to in the car, stickers, shower caps, bath toys, chocolates and sweets - loads of things that kids like unwrapping. I always put in some sweets to remind them that my Christmas treat was an apple, an orange and a tangerine (very exotic!) left in my hung-up sock....

SixthSenseless · 08/12/2016 23:26

Great presents!

You don't have to compete with anything or anyone.

I usually intersperse the 'proper' presents with a selection box (£1 in some supermarkets for a Cadbury's selection), a bottle of pop, and a cheap novelty of some kind. An annual: usually heavily discounted in WH Smith.

LucyBabs · 08/12/2016 23:27

Aren't furry connect around 100 pounds? Your dc are very lucky children. Won't they have a warm house, food to eat and a loving family. That's the message I'm driving home to my dc. I'd love to give them the world but it's not possible so I'll settle for them being happy with what we've got Smile

LilQueenie · 08/12/2016 23:29

If you feel it looks too little a pile then I agree with the above posters. poundland and home bargains are great. Traditional games like dominoes and chess or draughts for £1, I picked up a harmonica for 60 odd pence in home bargans. They also stock activity and colouring books for well under a pound. Jigsaws are about £2 or less too and they are characters ones like frozen and cars. In fact I love home bargains because it tends to be cheaper than poundland.

DailyFail1 · 08/12/2016 23:31

Sounds lovely. I have a budget of £20 per child this year. Trying just to get a single big present each.

Lionking1981 · 08/12/2016 23:38

Thank you all. Will go to pound shop and get them a couple of fillers. I always put an apple and orange in their stockings anyway as an ode to our grandparents who always did it for us - they always find it funny. Got the furbys for 50 pounds when they were on offer luckily. Tempted to go out and spend half the rest of our monthly budget on them but dh not in agreement and he's probably right.

OP posts:
MariamaMay · 08/12/2016 23:53

They sound like a lovely pile of presents for each child :). And the things you have planned sound brilliant :)

If your children's Christmas lists were huge and you are worried about their expectations think about some fun ways to chat about what they might realistically expect. Children are often amazingly accepting :) and what they will remember in years to come, is those things you have planned as a family :).

Most people remember feelings not things. One of the smallest/least expensive presents I got still makes me smile :).

PicardsCombOver · 09/12/2016 00:21

Doesn't sound like a bad haul of gifts at all Op, for what it's worth I had a Furby the first time around (twenty years ago) and still him now. So many nice memories, he's in my bedroom even now. I love the idea of an orange and an apple, our grandparents had far less and so appreciated small things so much more. I would be more than happy to send you gifts for your 6 and 8 year old as I have things here perfect for that age range. Just message me :)

YorkiesGlasses · 09/12/2016 00:26

I even put myself in debt for a few years to give DC everything on their lists. And it got to the point where all the joy was gone because they expected to get everything they asked for. I realized how stupid I'd been the year DS came down with his list and a pencil on Christmas morning to check everything off. It's a trap I wish I'd never fallen into. I think there is more joy potentially in not knowing what you'll be given. Furby's and gadgets are great gifts. If you want to pad it out, spend a tenner on each of them at Poundworld - chocolates, books and cheap toys - the bulkier the better.

Cagliostro · 09/12/2016 00:28

Honestly it's a great lot of presents. I'm sure they will be really happy!

SpringerS · 09/12/2016 00:41

My DS is getting Star Wars Playskool Heroes, an Imaginext Superman robot, a Hot Wheels set, a Leap TV and his stocking. And I think he is getting a crazily enormous amount of gifts. (Tbh, If I hadn't found it all secondhand he wouldn't be getting a fraction of it and I only bought the LeapTV because it's educational.) It sounds about on par with what each of your children are getting, an electronic device, a playset, another toy and some extra bits. So I think what your DC are getting is very generous of Santa.

In all honestly when I read your lists of what you'd bought, I initially thought that was the DC's lists and you hadn't a hope of buying those gifts. Knowing they are what you already have I don't think you have anything to worry about.

SandyFeet177 · 09/12/2016 01:06

I would much rather have day trips out than pressies. My DS is profoundly autistic and people often give him money as he cannot speak to tell us what he wants, we struggle knowing what to get him ourselves (he doesn't understand what christmas is or even what his name is) but with that money, we take him on a steam train ride after christmas and he loves it.

Atenco · 09/12/2016 02:13

One year I was really broke and my six-year-old dd asked Santa for an expensive doll. I got her a much cheaper doll and wrote her a letter from Santa explaining how he had run out of the doll she wanted and he hoped she liked the one she got. She was thrilled as she was only one of her friends who got a letter from Santa.

Peanutandphoenix · 09/12/2016 03:13

That sounds like a great pile of presents for them they will love them if you really want to get them some extra bits then go round the pound shop and charity shops you will find some cheap and cheerful stocking fillers in there. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas xxx

aforestgrewandgrew · 09/12/2016 03:23

Have a look in the charity shops too. A couple near us get donations from shops like M&S so have brand new stuff for sale, also people give away brand new stuff.

I got a new, boxed moshi monsters bedside light for £1.50 from the charity shop at the weekend, also some great books as good as new and a watch for next to nothing.

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Pluto30 · 09/12/2016 03:42

Honestly, you say yourself that you wanted to believe in Santa for so long because you knew your parents couldn't afford the things they would buy you for Christmas, and now you want to overcompensate with your own children. Eventually they, too, will realise that you're spending beyond your means on their presents, and the cycle will repeat.

Kids don't need mountains of gifts. There's nothing wrong with them getting a couple of good quality gifts. "You can't always get what you want" is a lesson never learnt too soon, IMO. Just because they had extensive lists, doesn't mean they need every last item on the list. There's nothing wrong with telling them that Santa works within a budget so that he can afford gifts for every child; that he tries to choose the ones he thinks each kid will value/enjoy the most.

dylsmimi · 09/12/2016 05:06

That sounds lots of presents and im sure on the day they will be excited - will they get presents from other people?
Don't feel you need to buy lots of little tat presents to fill it up
I find mine love having crackers so I always try to make sure we gave those on the table and we watch a special film, play with toys or fun games and that's what makes the christmas Magic rather than the amount spent
We always say Christmas lists are a guide so Father Christmas knows whether you like barbied/lego/ paw patrol etc not a tick list as he cant being everything but likes to know the kind of presents you would prefer

dylsmimi · 09/12/2016 05:08

*barbies and he can't bring everything
My fingers are still asleep!

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