Or is my DH regarding our son being bitten at Nursery.

[Writerwannabe83]

My husband phoned me earlier today after he'd picked DS up from nursery (he's aged 2yr 10m) to says he'd been bitten twice whilst there.

When I came home from work I saw one bite on DS's thumb, which was really red and there was a bruise underneath the nail, and the second bite had left a full on circular mark of the child's mouth on his left arm with some marking that were indentations from the teeth.

The child who did both bites was just under two years old.

My husband was furious about it.

I on the other hand said some young toddlers just go through a biting phase and that's not to say it is acceptable but at the same time it's just something that happened and nobody is culpable I.e it isn't the Nursery's fault.

I said it could just have easily been our son who hurt another child and reminded him that it was only 6/7 months ago that DS's previous childminder had to tell us that he was frequently pushing other children and causing them to fall over and hurt themselves. My DH said, "True, but biting is different."

My DH has said he wants to remove DS from the nursery.

I was upset when I saw the bite marks because I obviously don't like to think of my DS being hurt but I don't think this one off incident justifies pulling DS out of the nursery.

I said to DH that even if we did change Nursery there's no guarantee that DS wouldn't receive a similar injury, or another type of injury inflicted by or caused by another young child.

My husband seems to think I'm not taking it seriously enough whereas I am currently of the thinking that it's unfortunate it happened but as a one off event it's not enough to change childcare setting.

So who is BU?
What would you do?

[Crumbs1]

You are right. Two year olds sometimes bite.
My second had a ring of teeth marks on his newborn head for a fortnight because his sister was jealous. I could hardly throw her out of the family home.

[CarcerDun]

YANBU, toddlers can bite. Just check with the nursery how they plan on dealing with it. A one off though, I wouldn't blink a eyelid.

[Twiggy71]

I agree with you that it could of happened in any nursery and it would be silly to move your ds because of this.

[fluffandsnuff]

Biting happens- DS has both been bitten and the biter. The parents of the other child will have been informed and will be mortified. The nursery should have a clear policy about this and you can ask to see it. if it continues to happen then there may be a problem, but for a one-off it's hard to see what nursery could have done to prevent it.

[lalalalyra]

Biting happens. The important bit is how the nursery deal with it.

Your DH is understandably angry, but he needs to realise that this happens. It's like pushing and toy snatching and everything else kids do. It happens and how it's dealt with is the important thing.

There's often no rhyme nor reason for it. One of the five kids I've put through nursery was a biter. I've no idea what made them different to their siblings, but thankfully the other parents were very supportive as they could see we, and the nursery, were doing everything we could.

Is today the first time it's happened?

[callmeadoctor]

I would rely on the nursery taking care of it. There will be a report which was probably shown to your husband. It is a really common phase though so wouldn't worry too much, but obviously it is upsetting xxx

[Aquasport]

I think this is a massive over reaction by you DH unless there are other issues with the nursery. As the proud owner of a biter/ child who has been bitten I would be very reluctant to judge. If the child was consistently coming home injured then there is cause for concern, but a few incidents is horses for courses

[KERALA1]

I was a Sahm when my Dd that age took her to local library and she got badly bitten by another child right in front of me. It happens. If you otherwise happy with the nursery I wouldn't leave for this.

[TheBogQueen]

Well yes some children do go through a biting phase and I'm sure the parent of the biter is absolutely mortified.

It's really upsetting when it happens to your child but most children will have been bitten at some point and while it's painful there's no lasting damage.

I'd suggest contacting the nursery to say that you are concerned he has been bitten twice. Will they take steps to supervise the biter a bit better?

[edwinbear]

YANBU. It's horrible when your dc gets hurt by another child but it's par for the course in nursery. And indeed at school, DS (7) came home with a bump on his head this week where he and his mate accidentally bashed heads whilst rehearsing their Christmas show. DD (5) also got bitten in her first week of reception in September. As long as it's being appropriately dealt with by nursery it's all they can do really.

[milkysmum]

Dh is overreacting

[Toomanywheeliebinsagain]

My eldest was an terrible biter at about that age. Nursery dealt with it well but she did bite for a number of months including her best friend (whose mum I was close too). My second child got bitten very badly a number of times. It is much worse when your child is the biter... This is normal behaviour for this age I'm afraid

[Noodledoodledoo]

As the mum of a biter on a couple of occasions it is mortifying, I have been in tears leaving as I am gutted my child has done it. I have done loads to show my child its not something they should be doing, have got books to read to help her understand, and spoken to the key workers.

I am with you it is one of those things that can happen.

[AskBasil]

YOur DH is being unreasonable.

Also, is he wanting to do the trudging round alternative nurseries? Does he realise someone might bite your DS there too?

Does he realise how disruptive it would be for your DS?

He's completely irrational.

[intheknickersoftime]

I think most early years settings have a biting policy. I know my dc Playgroup did. My youngest was a biter and I know how worrying it is to OK know your child caused a physical injury to another. It is extremely common, ds used to bite me on occasion. Ask to see the policy and show it to your husband. I think he's overreacting. It is something that any nursery will have to deal with. As long as they are recording it and dealing with it appropriately that is as much as they can do.

[intheknickersoftime]

Ok should be know

[edwinbear]

Actually that's reminded me of a frantic call I had at about 10pm one night from his teacher when DS was in reception. He and a mate had found a rope on the playing field and his friend had garrotted him with it. He did indeed have a red burn mark round his neck on closer inspection. We'd had an accident report in his bag, he was fine no concerns from our end, but I'd not had a chance to check my voicemail messages and return those left by his teacher. She was so anxious to speak to me about what had happened and how the school had dealt with it I was convinced they had things well under control.

[NatureAbhorsAHoover]

Your DH needs to get a grip.

Very sorry for your poor DS getting bitten though, thank goodness they don't remember most of their mishaps!

[throwingpebbles]

YANBU, your DH is over reacting.
Impossible to avoid a child occasionally biting at that age. Doesn't mean it isn't awful when it happens to your child. But it is one of the hazards of being two. Unless you stop them socialising with other toddlers /require all toddlers they meet to have their teeth removed, then sometimes this might happen

[NatureAbhorsAHoover]

Throwing pebbles you just said what I was trying to say but much more nicely

[RB68]

Some two yr olds do bite BUT it is the role of nursery to protect other children from this - he had two quite bad bites - what are they doing to stop this other child and protect your child - you need to go back to the nursery and address this - once yes he was unlucky - twice in the same day another story

[BravoPanda]

Question, folks (lighthearted) Do you remember kids biting when you were at nursery/preschool/montessori? I don't and just asked my Mum by text and she said no. She's put 3 of us through nursery/montessori between the 70's & 80's and she said not once has she even heard of it. Do you think it's because more kids are in nursery these days due to more working families so a higher incidence or are we all evolving in to bear cubs and sharks?

[FrayedHem]

YANBU. It's not nice, but I wouldn't remove over a one-off. How do they split the rooms at your DC nursery? If he is nearing 3, is he likely to be moving up a room soon with older DC? Not that biting is unheard of in the over 3s, but under 2's are known to be a bit more erratic.

[notangelinajolie]

I don't remember anyone biting at school but when I was 6 or 7 I had a friend who lived next door who was younger (around 4) who used to bite me.