To think you just wouldn't visit?

[BeastEnders]

Me and DH are having an extension and new kitchen. Work was started 3 weeks ago. We've had three weeks without hot food at home, without a washing machine and without being able to wash up. Everything from the kitchen is in our spare bedroom and the entire house is covered in dust. We've had builders here at 7am every day including weekends for three weeks. We're both working full time from home.

As of yesterday we now have an oven and microwave and sink. But still no washing machine and all out kitchen stuff is still in the spare room.
Today's the first day we've not had any tradespeople here and the weekend is our first opportunity to decant everything back into the kitchen from the spare bedroom.

BUT, PILs are coming. They're arriving this evening and staying until Sunday afternoon. So, stuff has had to be jiggled around in the spare room so they can actually get into bed and we've had to do some quite intense cleaning in the evenings (we wanted to clean everything this coming weekend).

AIBU to think that if your kid's home was as chaotic and knackering as ours is right now, you wouldn't visit?

[BeastEnders]

Sorry sounds mardy. They're nice people. It's nice when they visit but they're very inconsiderate. They want to visit us this weekend so visit us they shall, regardless of how it impacts on us.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

Just tell them it's not convenient it's your decision after all

[CryingShame]

I might do, but I'd stay in a hotel, take you out for meals and say absolutely nothing about the dust. And i'd ask if this was ok first.

UANBU on this one - feed them sandwiches 3 times a day because it's all you can manage and see how sick they get of them.

[LagunaBubbles]

Why didnt you just say no, it wasnt convenient?

[SortAllTheThings]

Why didn't you just say no? Could you go and stay with them instead, since your house is pretty uninhabitable at the moment?

[BeastEnders]

ThisIsStarting It's been booked in for a very long time so they're not budging. DH told them it's not convenient because of the kitchen now. They replied 'Oh we don't mind, well put up with it' . DH should have replied that it wasn't convenient for us but he's reluctant to upset his folks.

[BeastEnders]

There isn't a single hotel room available this weekend in the city we live in.

[AyeAmarok]

"Sorry, this weekend doesn't suit us, we'll need you to pick another weekend" was all you needed to say.

[BeastEnders]

NavyandWhite Too late now, they're on the road as we speak!

[bigredfireengine]

Depends on your family dynamics and relationships.

Wouldn't be a problem at all in our family. Maybe they think they have a closer relationship with you than you think they have?

[YelloDraw]

Why didn't you pull on your big girl pants and say "no PIL this weekend is really bad. sorry, you can't stay. Lets get a date sorted in Jan when the extension is finished"

[JennyOnAPlate]

Your dh need to grow a pair and phone them back and tell them they can't come.

[BeastEnders]

AyeAmarok There is no other suitable weekend. They're bringing the Xmas presents and haven't had any other free weekends since early November. That's why it's been booked in for so long. We're happy to receive presents after Xmas but apparently that's completely unacceptable verging on criminal

[YelloDraw]

DH should have replied that it wasn't convenient for us but he's reluctant to upset his folks.

So you don';t have a PIL problem, you have a wet-behind-the-ears SH problem. FFS.

[BeastEnders]

YellowDraw I have a 'DH who already has a tricky relationship with his parents and is often walking on eggshells and will do almost anything for a quiet life' problem. And a 'PILs who are inconsiderate and quite selfish and will get offended at the slightest thing' problem.

[LagunaBubbles]

PILs who are inconsiderate and quite selfish and will get offended at the slightest thing'

So? Your DH could still have said it wasnt convenient, if they took the hump so be it!

[blueturtle6]

Noooooo, that's awful, we had an extension last year so I feel your pain.

[BeastEnders]

I know DH should have said 'no' but my point is that they know we're living in chaos and are both stressed out of our bollocks.DH shouldn't have to say 'no'- any normal person would surely think 'we might be in the way' or 'maybe they could do without it'.

[Jiggl]

Move all the shit back into the spare room where you had it. If they have to step over your pots and pans and piles of laundry or whatever else you have there to get in and out of bed, then so be it.

Leave the cleaning. Offer them very basic foods that you can manage in your incomplete kitchen, or get them to pay for takeaways.

You warned them, so tough shit if they didn't listen and have an uncomfortable visit.

[Katy07]

Go out and put everything back in the spare room - they may be staying but that doesn't mean they have to be comfortable