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AIBU?

Are you feeding him?

122 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 06/12/2016 10:02

Lady in the queue at supermarket asked how old my 6 week DS was, then asked "are you feeding him".

AIBU to think this is a stupid question! Of course I am feeding the baby, he wouldn't have survived the last 6 weeks if I wasn't!

I assumed she meant am I breastfeeding him- but then why is this relevant or any of her business? I don't ask an adult I first meet what they eat, why the interest in what my 6 week old baby eats?

OP posts:
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Phoebebe · 06/12/2016 10:03

Far too personal a question - strange lady!

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Hellmouth · 06/12/2016 10:05

That's a weird thing to ask a complete stranger 😐

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Allthewaves · 06/12/2016 10:05

Ah personal baby questions. Breezy smile, followed by a yes, isn't he gorgeous and walk on

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DoubleCarrick · 06/12/2016 10:07

I know this isn't the world's most tactful question to hear but your post has raised a wry smile from me. My FIL and Nan have both asked the same thing and when my FIL asked the question (he was the first to ask) I was REALLY confused and it took me about ten seconds to work out what his question actually was!!

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hawaiibaby · 06/12/2016 10:07

"No. I let him forage in the garden when he looks peckish." Grin

People ask the oddest things and yes - none of her business!

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KayTee87 · 06/12/2016 10:07

You should have replied 'no, I'm starving him' then done this Hmm

I've been asked this a few times too, was also asked how the labour went by someone I'd met once Confused

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ArcticMumkey · 06/12/2016 10:07

When my FIL came to visit newborn DD in hospital he asked 'Are you feeding her yourself?' to which I replied 'Yes, I am holding this bottle of formula' but maybe I was being a tad facetious Wink

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Tubbyinthehottub · 06/12/2016 10:10

Or people asking if you had stitches Shock

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bloodyteenagers · 06/12/2016 10:12

"Yes. Just thinking what toppings to get on his pizza. What would you suggest? Thinking tandoori chicken, sweetcorn, peppers, onion, pineapple and mushroom but not sure if that's enough for his 5 a day."

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RattieOfCatan · 06/12/2016 10:13

I haven't had this yet but I got asked on Sunday, at a craft fayre by a complete stranger, whether I'd had my baby 'naturally' or not. The woman in question explained after that she had been a recovery room nurse until recently but even so, quite a personal thing to ask especially as it had been an emcs for me which I could have been feeling upset about!

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WorraLiberty · 06/12/2016 10:20

"Are you feeding him yourself?"

That ^^ was the question my old fashioned mum and aunts used to ask, as they nodded towards the mother's breasts.

Reminded me of Les Dawson for some reason Xmas Grin

YANBU though, it's a very personal question.

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UnbornMortificado · 06/12/2016 10:21

People are fucking rude.

What is it about supermarkets?

Last week someone told me my DD has a large head!

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kaitlinktm · 06/12/2016 10:28

Last week someone told me my DD has a large head

Not as large as your mouth love. Hmm

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MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 06/12/2016 10:41

I was once asked if my twins were 'natural' Shock

(what like yogurt?)

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EnormousTiger · 06/12/2016 10:45

We have the worst breastfeeding rate in Europe sadly and some of the best maternity rights. I wish we could improve it but there we are.

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Writerwannabe83 · 06/12/2016 10:48

When DS was 4 days old one man who lived on the street, who we would probably say hello to if we walked past him, knocked on the door and said congratulations to my DH (who had answered the door) followed by "Is she breast feeding?"

WTH? Why would a random man (we don't even know his name) ask that? Very bizarre!

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Pinkheart5915 · 06/12/2016 10:51

Both my babies were born weighing around 6lb and looked so tiny. People often asked if they were premature umm no. They they followed it up with well you didn't get enough when pregnant, yes I did my babes were just small Confused

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Sparlklesilverglitter · 06/12/2016 10:53

First mum and baby group I went too I was asked by 2 different mums if my DD was born naturally? Well no because due to complications I had an emergency c section.
I found a different baby group.

Why do people think it's ok to ask and comment on personal things?

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BertieBotts · 06/12/2016 10:54

So? It's still rude to enquire about feeding method. Unless you are:

a. Doing a survey about infant feeding.

b. A health care professional who needs the information in order to determine a problem or give advice.

c. Trying to find someone who is breastfeeding/formula feeding so you can ask them for advice.

Old ladies in queues generally want to ask you so that they can compare with what they did, will always be followed by the comment "Oh, well done! You don't see it much these days" or "Oh, that's a shame." or "Oh, I could never get on with it [either]".

I get that people are just trying to make conversation but new mums are very sensitive! The only safe comment is "What a lovely babygro" or "Your baby is gorgeous, how old?" Just stick to compliments, and not compliments that hinge on something else, and you'll be okay.

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Veganmeredith · 06/12/2016 10:57

The general public are very strange people, the ones that touch your childrens head or face have to top my freak list... get off my cubs... im like a lioness grrrrrrrr x

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Katy07 · 06/12/2016 10:59

"I leave a few takeaway menus out and he can ring them when he's peckish. Not sure the vindaloo was a good idea though..."

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Tidypidy · 06/12/2016 11:00

I'm with Bertie on this. Most people ask a question as a way of engaging with you not to judge. They just want an excuse to have longer to look at your gorgeous tiny baby.

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HerRoyalFattyness · 06/12/2016 11:00

I always got asked "aww how old?" I'd reply with his age "what on earth have you been feeding him? He's huge!"
Well yes. He was 10lb 10.5oz at birth, he was hardly going to be dainty was he?
"Oh, I'm sorry, was he a c section?"
No.
Usually they leave it there but I did once have a woman reply "your poor husband"
Wtf?!

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TheLegendOfBeans · 06/12/2016 11:02

Les Dawson
Pizza toppings

Ah this thread is giving me such a laugh Grin

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hawaiibaby · 06/12/2016 11:05

your poor husband Shock Shock
Sorry but that did make me laugh. SO rude!

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