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AIBU?

To be angry and upset with dp over Christmas tree?

55 replies

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 05/12/2016 22:15

Dp up until a few yrs ago never celebrated Christmas. He isn't a big fan of it even now, hates all the commercialisation and pressure to buy plastic tat etc.

I love Christmas however this year is a little sad for me because I have to work Christmas Eve and Boxing Day and therefore can't make it back to see my family on Christmas Day. We will be spending the day with his family but it isn't quite the same and I am a bit down that I won't be seeing my family.

Anyways, we went to the supermarket earlier and I said I wanted to get a Christmas tree while I was with him as I can't drive and needed him to take it home in the car. I wanted a 6ft one but he absolutely refused, said it wasn't too much money (was £25) and I should get the 3ft one instead. We are a bit short on money at the moment but a 3ft tree is just so small and not Christmasy to me. I relented in the end and got the small one but it looks so rubbish just shoved in the corner.

Am sat here crying because I'm just so sad. I'm fairly sure iabu because it's just a stupid Christmas tree and in all honesty the £20 I saved not buying the bigger one can be spent on other stuff (and we really have no space to put a big one) but aibu? My sister was supposed to be coming round in a few days so we could decorate it together and do Christmas stuff but it's so small it seems a bit pointless Sad

OP posts:
DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 05/12/2016 22:20

Put it on a table and decorate it nicely with your sister. You are being a bit unreasonable because you are on a budget and it's 'just' a tree, but I understand that some things have a bigger significance and it can feel draining to constantly have to prioritise the budget and working over tradition and time with family.

Cuttingthecheese · 05/12/2016 22:20

YABU pull yourself together.

HolgerDanske · 05/12/2016 22:20

Have you got a little table you can stand it on? I've had to have small trees a few times and they look much nicer if they're up higher I think.

I know how you feel, I'm very Christmassy too. But last year I decided just to get a tiny potted tree (first year in a very small flat) and instead of going all out with my big collection of baubles I decided to just put a string of lights on it and all my little red baubles, and it really was beautiful in the end.

All that to say, maybe try it standing on a lamp table or something Flowers Xmas Smile

Sirzy · 05/12/2016 22:21

If money is tight then he has a point really. Sounds like this is just the tip of the iceberg in not having the Christmas you would like though really.

In the new year could you look for an artificial tree in the sale? Then you can have a bigger tree but without the cost worry each year?

ManaFleet · 05/12/2016 22:22

I feel your pain. However, you have it now so make the best of it. Pop it up on a low table or box to give height. Cover the table / box with a nice cloth and have lights puddled around the bottom of the tree and decorations around the base of the box / table. It can be done as tastefully or as OTT as you like and you'll soon have your festive spirit back.

I was skint enough one year to not get a tree at all. I decorated a tall lamp with fairy lights, I designated a shelf as the Christmas shelf and decorated that. Get imaginative and you might find that you 'win' Christmas decorations this year.

Look forward to photos!!

nogrip · 05/12/2016 22:27

What's a Christmas shelf?

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 05/12/2016 22:40

^was too much. Oops.

I just feel so deflated, feel like I can't even be bothered with Christmas anymore this year Sad I know it's pathetic of me but it just feels really pointless with no family and friends.

OP posts:
Stickaforkinimdone · 05/12/2016 22:42

Are you for real?? This is a joke right? I mean, you have to be joking? You cannot be genuinely crying because your Christmas tree is too small.
I know this is a joke, just like that other thread about the woman who isn't sure how she feels about her husband giving up 'field sports' (I had a good LOL at that one!)

AngryGinger · 05/12/2016 22:43

My tree is 2ft, cost £3 in Tesco. We've got it on a bookshelf and it looks lovely imo. Last year I made tiny pom poems out of wool for it, so it's still very special and semtimental. Try and enjoy the one you have, I'm sure you'll still enjoy decorating it with your sister

lananzack · 05/12/2016 22:45

Ohhh I actually understand how you feel. I'm the same way over Christmas trees. To me, they give off the whole festivity vibe that gets me all excited. I usually get huge real ones, but as DD has begun to crawl I've had to go with a 4ish ft fake one on the table (away from little handsGrin). I'm pretty gutted, too.
You're not being ridiculous to feel a bit miffed, but your husband does have a valid point. There's always next year !

AngryGinger · 05/12/2016 22:45

*pom poms!

Would show you a picture if I knew how..

HolgerDanske · 05/12/2016 22:46

It's not really the tree you're upset about.

Christmas spirit will find you. For now just determine that you're going to make that little tree the most beautiful, most meaningful tree in the world!

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 05/12/2016 22:47

Rubbish picture but i love this smaller tree i saw on pinterest

Probably no help to you whatsoever but little trees can look fabulous

To be angry and upset with dp over Christmas tree?
WonkoTheSane42 · 05/12/2016 22:49

Are you for real?? This is a joke right? I mean, you have to be joking? You cannot be genuinely crying because your Christmas tree is too small.

Are you so lacking in empathy that you can't see this is simply symbolic of the larger problem? The larger problem being her not seeing her family and her partner not really understanding that the ostentatious tree she wanted was about more than the tree itself.

Christmassnake · 05/12/2016 22:54

This isn't about the tree,it's about missing yr family and having to workover Christmas good on you for sticking to yr budget thou xx

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 05/12/2016 22:58

The tree I wanted wasn't overly special or a real one - just an artificial tree from Asda I was going to decorate with leftover decorations from last/previous years. I had been feeling really down about Christmas but I was hoping that planning the tree and decorating it with my dsis would cheer me up and help get me into it. I'm still going to try!

OP posts:
mumsiedarlingrevolta · 05/12/2016 23:04

I don't think you ABU at all.
I think you are just feeling a bit low-so many christmas expectations and it can look like everyone else's is perfect-and of course you want yours to be lovely.
You can take that tree and make it nice.
Try not to think of the size (which I know is not really the point) but try to make the tree festive-agree with PP that pinterest is a great source of inspiration.
Look forward to pics of your lovely tree on the "show us your tree" post

sweetkitty · 05/12/2016 23:05

Like others have said stick it on a table and decorate it, put lights/tinsels and presents round it. We used to have a tiny 3ft fibre optic tree (still do) and it was lovely.

In the New Year buy a bargain artificial tree, I got ours a couple of years back from B&Q £99 reduced to £14.80! Then every year you have it no need to splash out.

Can you have a Christmas no2? I've had Xmas in July and sept (don't ask)!

CheerfulYank · 05/12/2016 23:13

I once cried because I didn't see fireworks on the 4th of July and I was in my 20s. :o To be fair I had RAGING pmt.

I love holidays and get so excited about them. I would be upset too but you can still make a little tree nice. It isn't about STUFF so much as the feeling and excitement. I get it.

DearMrDilkington · 05/12/2016 23:13

Get on pintrest and have a look at 3ft Christmas trees. You'll get some really good ideas to make them look lovely. The one rufus posted looks amazing.

Go to a poundshop and pick up a few little Xmas ornaments to jazz it up even more.

Xmas GrinWine

user1477282676 · 05/12/2016 23:14

Call in sick and see your family at Christmas. Flowers I bloody would.

GlitterGlue · 05/12/2016 23:15

Why don't you ask on Facebook or freegle if anyone has a spare tree they no longer need? You could then pass on your little tree.

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Kel1234 · 05/12/2016 23:18

I wouldn't say you are being unreasonable. But at least you still have a tree. The first time I lived away from home was in uni halls - I had a small tree and decorated it, and out rinsed round my room. In the flat I moved into the year after was me and my then boyfriend. We used the same tree and decorations and stuff.
It's only this year we are in a proper house we got a big tree and stuff.
But at least you have something. Part of the fun of Christmas is the tree and decorations though.

BlueFolly · 05/12/2016 23:19

I don't think YABU. Your DH has just ridden roughshod over your feelings about Christmas, using money as an excuse, and that's a horrible thing to do. Is he nice otherwise?

DearMrDilkington · 05/12/2016 23:20

If you live near a tescos they have some really cute miniature Christmas trees for a couple of quid. You could get a few of them to put around the house to get it more festive.

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