BIL and SIL have just announced no gift exchange this year.

[ChristmasEvePJs]

AIBU in thinking if you do not wish to exchange gifts (like we have always done) then you should bring it earlier in the year and not with three weeks to go until Christmas?

I genuinely do not mind they lack of gifts for our DC's, they get more than they need from us alone. However I do object to being told they do not want the gifts I have already purchased and wrapped for them both (pj's each from the white company, a candle, sweets they specifically like and a bottle of champagne) as they are not doing gifts this year and will not be accepting any either as they are saving to move house. If we do insist on giving them the gifts they intend to give them to the charity shop!

AIBU to feel put out? I haven't said a word and wouldn't but the DC's helped choose the gifts and we certainly don't give to receive, would it really hurt them to just swallow their pride and accept a gift from their niece and nephews?

[ChristmasEvePJs]

Mention, not bring!

[Crunchymum]

Unwrap the gifts and either return them or re-wrap them for someone else.

[SabineUndine]

The first thing I thought when I saw your post was 'Now? Bit late isn't it?'

So no, YANBU. Keep the nice things you've bought, for yourself!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Yes, they could have told you sooner.

Can you not return them? And get the kids to just draw them a picture or something age appropriate.

[torroloco]

I can get why you are annoyed because you have gone to the effort but I do think in a way YABU

Return the pyjamas and give them the candles and champagne when they move into their new house as a house warming gift. A

[QODRestYeMerryGentlemen]

My sister announced it on xmas day last year ... as I handed over gifts

[ThePinkOcelot]

I think I would try and return the gifts. If not put them away for next year?
Seems a bit stupid that they are planning on sending any gifts given, to the charity shop!

[MoodyOne]

Ohh I get your point, I would just unwrap them and use them myself...
It's not the receiving it is the giving, but they must be pretty skint to come up with this (and I have been there) if you gave them gifts they will feel awkward , they should have said something sooner but maybe an unexpected bill has come up or something :-(
I get both sides but I would just use the gifts myself xx

[Andbabymakesthree]

Send then to us!

Very ungrateful and very late to be telling you.

I spoke to my sister in July. Relieved as we are skint as is my sister.

[harderandharder2breathe]

Can you return any of them?

Yanbu it's very late to be announcing this

[RJnomore1]

Yeah they sound lovely lovely gifts I would keep them myself!!

[MerylPeril]

It's better than my SIL and BIL who would ring and ask for cash for something they were saving for (and then never get) and then go.....'but we've already got yours'.... Which would be total shit gift sets.
Got screwed over several times

[Witchend]

*QOD" bil did that to dh, receiving his birthday present. Dh commented he'd forgotten for three years to give him one, and bil replied "oh no I decided three years ago I wasn't going to do birthday presents for siblings"
Dh and his siblings (who also had given for three years without receiving) were

It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it should be mutually discussed, not one person deciding, and certainly they should not accept presents.

[woodwaj]

YANBU I presume you told them you had already bought presents given the inappropriate charity shop remarks!! Hopefully you can return or regift them (or keep the lovely pj's if they fit!

[ChristmasEvePJs]

I wish I could, they are tiny (both XS or S) and sadly DH and I are not!!!
I think I will exchange them for our sizes and just make the best of it.

They never get us, just DC's but always far too generous so we get them as they have no DC's. Perhaps it's time it all stopped anyway. Will be hunting out the pomegranate candle forthwith, I love a nice candle!!!

[Cherryskypie]

I was going to say they're being unreasonable for giving you so little notice but then I saw what you'd bought them. Have you really spent almost £200 on them?

[lozengeoflove]

This would make my piss boil OP.

Your gifts sound right up my street, I shall inbox you my details shortly

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

People have already bought and wrapped presents?

😱

[ChristmasEvePJs]

I said I would still send their gifts with PIL when they visited at the weekend and they replied 'no, we can't accept them, it's no gifts all round. DH spoke and muttered something about being ridiculous and the kids had helped choose them etc... then the charity shop remark came!

[Cherryskypie]

I would feel so awkward if someone kept spending that amount of money on me when I don't buy them presents at all.

[ChristmasEvePJs]

£212 to be precise . They usually give each DC(3) a clothing gift (jack wills hoodie etc), cinema vouchers (£20) and £50 cash each plus sweets. I guess DH and I felt as they have no DC's we needed to send decent gifts.

[ChristmasEvePJs]

They probably spend around £350 on the DC's together most years.

[Cherryskypie]

They obviously feel uncomfortable about your gifts. They could have handled it much better and sooner but they have given you the message loud and clear.

The presents sound lovely and thoughtful too but that's a big chunk of cash to spend on people who don't even give you a token gift.

[Andcake]

Tbh my family only started discussing gifts today. So totally see it from their PoV...not everyone is so Christmas obsessed ( especially with no dc) to do anything to do with Xmas before 1st December is a bit wrong in my book.

[Artandco]

THats a lot of money on gifts. Seems like they realised everyone has such high expectations it was better to say no gifts. Pjs, candles, champagne and sweets does seem completely ott. That's on past with the amount most buy their own children. Usually just one thing maximum

It is only 4th December so I do think that a lot of notice TBH, Christmas is weeks away and most don't even think about it until at least December.