I have a myriad of nieces and nephews, they are not too different in age than me due to me having much older siblings, and some of them have children of their own, who I am very close to.
They all like sleepovers with me from time to time, one of the girls particularly, we watch films, eat sweets and generally she gets spoiled a bit! When she stays over, although there is a spare bed, she likes to get in with me and we stick a film on or I tell stories or whatever. This is when my partner is away for the night obviously!
She hasn't stayed in a while, but has booked herself in next week when DP is away again. She's just turned 10 and I've got to wondering about whether I should let her stay in my bed. Her mum (my adult nephew's partner, but also someone I get on well with) knows she has in the past and has just laughed and said something along the lines of I hope she doesn't kick you too much.
In the interest of full disclosure /not to be accused of drip feeding, she's actually my nephew's stepdaughter from a previous relationship of the mum's, though this makes not one jot of difference to us. And in even fuller disclosure I was actually adopted in the family as a baby. So there's no blood relationship here, not that it makes any difference to us again, we're all one big sprawling family and we're close.
I was wondering if I should just have a word to check with her mum what she would prefer me to do/if she'd still be happy for her to share the bed. Though I've a feeling she'll think I'm being daft and making it into an issue when it needn't be.
When her older brother stays, which is not as often, he will choose himself to go in the spare room. The younger ones come in pairs usually so they pile in together.
Probably this is a non issue and I'm overthinking it/read too much mumsnet, but if it were your child would you prefer I had the discussion with you?
AIBU?
To share a bed with niece 10
Abecedario · 03/12/2016 21:28
Check with the mum for your own peace of mind but I have a 10 year old dd and it wouldn't bother me at all.
Your sleepover sounds lovely 
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Well, then, I'd be totally guided by the child.
As long as she does not mind, I don't see the issue?
Fwiw, I have shared beds with female relatives at all sorts of ages and with all sorts of age gaps 
Great fun!
Thanks for the clarification OP. Could have been one hell of a dripfeed otherwise 
I can't see a problem with it personally. The child sounds perfectly happy and that's all that matters.
None of which affects my ability to watch Frozen and eat haribo with niece though. she's too old for frozen she says but she'll watch it to indulge me
That's what you should focus on then while she is with you.
And then you focus on the deeper stuff with your therapist 
Have a lovely time
Fwiw, one of my (male) cousins is adopted, he is very close in age to me, but totally like a brother. We, other cousins, my brother, sometimes a friend or two all used to sleep on mattresses on the floor together at the twice annual huge family get-together my extended family used to run. 'Tis all good - fond memories for me.
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