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AIBU?

To be sad about this?

17 replies

Needfinsnow · 02/12/2016 22:29

Sooo... My family are very disfunctional as discussed in previous posts.... My bro has just got engaged to his gf after 8 months (and after 6months he brought a house for them to live in as they were both living at heir homes). She openly admits she won't work much now as he will pay for her. He neglects his family and only does stuff with hers and she is gleeful about how she's stopped him being with his family.For years I have asked (my very wealthy) parents for a certain applilaince and they've always said no, it's to expensive for a present. Cue this year...my mother has brought this girl the thing for Christmas I've asked for, for ages, in the colour I'd most like. Am I being a cow to be so hurt by this?

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ChipIn · 02/12/2016 22:31

YANBU. she's sounds like a manipulative cow. Have you mentioned it to your parents?

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Needfinsnow · 02/12/2016 22:36

I have but they say I'm jealous of her (too bloody right I am)-and nasty for thinking these things! They have her very badly behaved dog overnight to give my bro and her a night off...but the only time they babysit my child (amd their actual grandchild) whilst I go to work...they are so angry about it! I e not had a night off other than for work in 3 years!

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Needfinsnow · 02/12/2016 22:37

In my family, only the males are important. Females are insignificant, myself and my daughter included. Males and their partners are the only ones who matter

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FizzBombBathTime · 02/12/2016 22:44

That's brutal

Sounds like a fucking nightmare

Flowers

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Ohdearducks · 02/12/2016 22:46

Oh fuck them off! I know they're your family but bollocks to that! They're bloody horrible. 'Only males are important.' Nope, nope, nope that would be a bye bye from me forever. I could not have my DD growing up as you have being subjected to this level of mysogyny from my own family. Cut them out!

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Needfinsnow · 02/12/2016 22:56

I've been seeing a therapist for years as I have mental health difficulties my other bro has recently been passed onto the same mental health practitioners...and my parent are so upset and involved...he's apprarently lonely so they have brought him an expensive pedigree puppy, paid off his£6000 credit card bill (even thou they paid for most people of his house..his mortgage is £160 a month) and they are his employers so he is pained insanely well. After all bills he still has £2000 a month spare.

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DaviesMum · 02/12/2016 22:58

I think a period of NC with the family is what you need. Why bother with these bastards? Confused

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Needfinsnow · 02/12/2016 23:03

Ah I know, but my dd would miss them, they don't really do family stuff with her, she's always getting told off for being noisy or fidgeting too much. But she loves them. I don't have any other options for family, for her. I hate myself and know they are right that dd deserves so much better then me, but when there's only ever me to be with her, I do t know what they want me to do?!

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AtSea1979 · 02/12/2016 23:07

Your DD would miss them for a day or two then she'll be distracted by something else. No need to cut them out completely just visit every couple of months and don't get involved with bro and gf

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ChipIn · 02/12/2016 23:11

Op it sounds awful for you and I'm sorry I don't have any real advice S their attitudes are the problem and that won't change.

I would go VLC though as I wouldn't want my daughter to think their behaviour is acceptable.

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fc301 · 02/12/2016 23:17

Why wld u keep contact if they don't value her and they make you feel shit about yourself??
Your 23.03 post is SO SAD. Please reread it and realise you deserve much better treatment than you are getting x

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Pumpkintopf · 02/12/2016 23:23

That's very sad, that your parents would make you feel so undervalued. I agree with other posters who suggest minimising your exposure to them. Surround yourself instead with people who appreciate you.

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chocolateworshipper · 02/12/2016 23:28

Adopt a new family. There was a thread from someone looking for a sister - bloody good idea if you ask me. I wish I could start all over again and interview candidates for family members rather than be stuck with idiots

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AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/12/2016 23:31

You are the parent. Your DD might miss them, but they are not good for her. Having 'family' isn't worth it, if they come at such a high (emotional well being) cost.

My advice - go NC with them. Save up the money you'd spend on presents for them and buy yourself your own Kitchen Aid 😊

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AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/12/2016 23:33

Oh, I just read your last post. Definitely bin the fuckers!

Seriously, they are not god for either of you. You BOTH deserve better. You and DD have each other, be a tight team and tell the others to stay the hell away.

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Ohdearducks · 02/12/2016 23:37

Look how they've made you feel about yourself, they will do that to your DD too. Do you want her to grow up feeling like that? Not good enough? Unloved, brushed aside, bullied? Only you can change that for her OP.

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Dozer · 02/12/2016 23:41

Why the hell are you letting them look after your DD while you work? Suggest stopping that asap.

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