My mother left me when I was 3months old with her parents and went off to do her thing because I was an inconviance, between my dad and my grandparents they brought me up, I stayed with my dad at weekends and holidays. My mother wasn't even in the equation. Years past I grew up then when I became a teenager my mother randomly apperard with some new boyfriend, when I was 14 my dad died. My mother was that pissed at the funeral she fell into the grave next to him. Then she decided I had to go live with her. Then the abuse started and the blame of my dad dying so I left. No matter where I went I always kept in touch with my grandparents. Then I got into a relationship and had my ds and dd, due to that turning out to be extremely violent I tried to go to my mother who in the end supported the now evil x, few more years passed and I met my now wonderful hubby and had dd2 and ds2 ( total of 4 kids) now my mother has now decided to go out of her way to make our lives as miserable as possible I've lost jobs because of her, no friends because of her, then after having her phoning me at all hours while she's pissed up carrying on down the phone on how everything is my fault, I'm the biggest mistake of her life, on how I shouldn't have been born, I'm a disappointment and I need to sort my life out. I even had to block her on facebook due to the nasty things she was posting daily on my wall, calling me and my kids all the names under the sun. Type of thing. So we cut her off completely 10yrs have past since last having any form of contact with her,
Now over these last 10yrs we found out that my eldest son has autism with other things combined and when spoke to and dealt with correctly he is the most lovely bright lad you could meet with a wicked sense of houmor, my eldest daughter has got very complex learning disabilities which is no body's fault but she is so gifted and loving in many other ways. Then this last 2yr has been a total nightmare from my wonderful father in law passing away then my brother in law and then my grandfather,
Then the phone calls start again so while I'm coming to deal with all our own family problems, plus working, plus sorting the kids out, plus grieving, I've got her carrying on over the phone that it's all my fault, she's never had anything to do with my kids and doesn't even know them ( she made it clear that they were to never call her grandma ) she accuses me of bad parenting and that my eldest 2s disabilities is my fault because I don't deserve kids and I shouldn't be allowed to be happy, she's at it again calling us all the most nasty names I've ever heard, but the final straw was when she called my kids nasty horrible animals that should be in a home. My hubby and I both work are asses off to provide everything our kids ask for, they are not spoilt but they don't want for anything, we're not rich if anything we're struggling like hell but everything we do is for these kids. Now my grans on her last days, I'm struggling to find the time between work, school runs, meetings, more school runs to go see her, yet there is her again on the phone carrying on that I'm not doing enough and that yet again it's all my fault. I feel sorry for my kids for now we have no other family members left and that bit of help/ support / respite we had has now gone, and to top it all off our youngest is now also being assessed due to him struggling at school, why can't she just be what a mums supposed to be but then again I don't know what it's like to have a mum cause she was never there, so why is she so horrible to me. I couldn't do to my kids what she's doing to me, it hurts but it makes me more determined to do more with my own. I'm dreading my Gran going cause she's going to blame me for that and carry on even more, she's already managed to somehow get me cut out of my grandfathers will, not that I'm bothered she could have it all if it means I never hear from her again. She's making me ill with all the upset and stress she's causing. Sorry for going on
AIBU?
And she's supposed to be my mother!!
Mysticstar13 · 30/11/2016 19:18
Some people are awful and sometimes they have children. It sucks to have parents like this. Best thing to do is cut them out. You have made the start of a new family. 
You poor thing. What a mess, and sounds like even though you know you have no responsibility towards your mum, she makes you feel guilty very successfully. I'd recommend a book called Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. It helps show you how manipulative people like your mum are, and how to build steps to remove yourself from this guilt that you feel. Without guilt you'd happily walk away. With guilt, it's something that is much harder to do. Remember, you don't owe her anything, but rather than us tell you that, you need to feel that for yourself. Good luck
Can only echo what PP's have said, block her completely and cut all contact. Get a restraining order if necessary. She sounds completely vile and doesn't deserve such a lovely DD and GC's
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.