AIBU to put 'DO NOT EAT' labels on food in the fridge....

[spacewitch99]

No, I am not talking about being in a flat share with inconsiderate flatmates eating my food....I am talking about my DP who eats all the food planned on our meal planner when he is working from home...
I spend ages on a weekend planning a week's worth of meals ...budgeting and also time saving having to cook meals...well...that is the plan anyway!
I write a meal planner...stick it on the fridge door...often I cook the meal the evening before and when it is cooled, stick it in the fridge to be reheated quickly the next day...
When my DP is working from home (which is often) he blindly opens the fridge door, reaches in and takes out whatever is there...and scoffs it...
Leaving that evenings meal missing...and I have to cook more ...
He always apologies...and looks quite humble about it...but it is really starting to drive me mad! Even our DD asks, 'Has daddy eaten our dinner again?' when she sees my face on opening the fridge door and noticing our dinner is no more....
I suggested to him that I label things 'DO NOT EAT' and leave snacky things for him to have during the day but he said 'There's no need' and got quite offended I want to treat him like a wayward flatmate instead of my DP?
Anyone else in this situation? What do you do to stop it??

[Ebbenmeowgi]

Do you do all the cooking? Make him make dinner if he's scoffed it for lunch!

[Ahickiefromkinickie]

YANBU. Would labels deter him though?

It's really selfish as he's eating everyone's dinner and then not even cooking replacement dinner.

Could you make him responsible for meals 3 days a week? Maybe once he realises the planning that goes into cooking, he will see he is BU.

[BursarsFrogs]

YANBU. Does he not do any planning for his lunches for when he's at home then? Ideally he should think about what he's going to want/need for that when you're both writing the meal plan and shopping list. Don't you run out of food mid week all the time as it is?

[OrangeSquashTallGlass]

Short term: He needs to cook dinner that night if he's eaten the meal. Long term: he needs to get more involved the food shopping/meal planning in general.

[YelloDraw]

Short term: He needs to cook dinner that night if he's eaten the meal. Long term: he needs to get more involved the food shopping/meal planning in general.

Got it in one.

[JapaneseTea]

IF he is working from home then why are you cooking in the evening? He can cook at lunchtime.

Sounds like a prize bell end or entitled man child.

[Believeitornot]

He's being lazy. He knows he shouldn't eat it and could check. I'd be so cross and do get cross when DH does this

[Trifleorbust]

If he eats it he cooks another one or he doesn't eat dinner. It's not that difficult, surely?

[GeorgeTheThird]

He needs to be doing the cooking. Why on earth are you doing it all if he works from home? And why in earth are you cooking a second meal when he has eaten the first one?

[MissVictoria]

It's his food too you know.....
Why not make an extra portion for him to have for lunch? If you're cooking anyway, making enough for one more isn't going out of your way.

[GeorgeTheThird]

Also "leave snacky things". Is he so useless he can't even sort out his own snacks??

[expatinscotland]

I'd stop meal planning and cooking in advance altogether. I'd shop on the way home from work, a meal for you and DD. And fuck him off. Yes, I seriously would, because he fucking well knows what he's doing and he doesn't give a flying fuck, either. Wouldn't cook for him at all. Fuck leaving snacky things out for him. He's a grown man, he can get his own food.

Just tell him, you continually scoff what's for dinner and you damn well know it. I don't buy your fake apologies anymore.

So I'm done shopping. I'll pick up stuff to cook for me and DD on the way home. You fend for yourself.

You want to go back to meal planning, knock yourself out. You know where the pots, pans and dishwasher are.

[SouthofMaui]

To be fair to him, I would be very annoyed if my DH was having a go at me for eating food from the fridge when I am working from home, unless he specifically said he needed it for a specific meal, but not for the whole week. Neither of us know in advance what meal we fancy in a few days, we have food but we're flexible.

If you have a really tight budget, then you are obviously not BU to plan strictly. (but haven't you planned lunch?)

If you don't, then you should share the cooking, or at least ask him what he wants for lunch. If you have planned his lunch and he's eaten your dinner, then why can't you eat the lunch in the evening.

I don't think that one person doing all the cooking is unreasonable, if the other one does something else (such as cleaning and laundry). It depends how you are organised.

[expatinscotland]

'It's his food too you know.....
Why not make an extra portion for him to have for lunch? If you're cooking anyway, making enough for one more isn't going out of your way.'

Oh, yes, enable the lazy, selfish person who scoffs his own daughter's dinner by giving him even more, poor dear, incapable of any fucking self-control or making himself a sandwich.

[spacewitch99]

He doesn't work from home all the time...when he does he usually works through lunch and just grabs something to mindlessly munch on while working...
He usually cooks at weekends.
He generally is quite considerate with other stuff.
And after today's eating of this evening's meal, he is now in the kitchen cooking us a chilli...

[Trifleorbust]

MissVictoria: She's not his slave, is she? She makes his dinner and - to prevent him scoffing it, her dinner and his child's dinner - she needs to make his lunch as well??

FFS. It is his food too - perhaps he can pull his head out of his arse and cook some of it.

[expatinscotland]

Oh, c'mon, he's not mindlessly munching. The first time, maybe, but after, bollocks! A quick text, 'Spacey, is that food in there for dinner?' He CBA'd.

[SouthofMaui]

spacewitch99 he sounds nice enough. We've used labels in my house (for kids to not eat a cake made for a diner party, that sort of things). Nobody gets offended. In my home, you can eat anything you want if you are hungry, unless specifically told otherwise. I can't remember any argument.

For crying out loud, you are not a slave because you make food for your household. Some people really need to chill out a bit.

[SouthofMaui]

• the second part of my post was for posters above, not the OP, sorry it's not really clear.

[Trifleorbust]

For crying out loud, you are not a slave because you make food for your household. Some people really need to chill out a bit.

Yes, slave is exaggeration, but skivvy isn't

If you do a job and someone eats it, then you're expected to do it again, they are showing zero respect for your work to start with.

[harderandharder2breathe]

Nobody is suggesting she make a separate meal for his lunch! Just that it's no different making four portions of something than three.

If he's eaten your dinner then he needs to sort the replacement

[previously1474907171]

I would get a lockable food safe www.fruugo.co.uk/bigbuy-cold-lock-stock-fridge-locker-home-kitchen-storage-and-pantry-others/p-7659036-16426708?gclid=CMHv2YiQzNACFRS6Gwod_nULVA

[Wolverbamptonwanderer]

Tbh it's his food too and there doesn't seem to be enough of it in the house. That said, I understand the irritation

[paxillin]

So he eats his, yours and your DD's dinner for lunch regularly? Is he very overweight?

[spacewitch99]

paxillin, no, he is extremely fit...which is why he probably is mindlessly munching...