Long story short my mum used to help me and my sister out with childcare. My sister the beginning of the week, me the end- I would pay for additional childcare for the days my mum didn't have the kids but couldn't afford anymore than what I was already paying for.
My mum then told us both that she couldn't cope with the demands that were being put on her and we needed to make alternative arrangements.
I did as I was asked and was lucky enough to be able to cut my hours at work and only work school hours.
My sister on the other hand did nothing......made her excuses and told my mum there was nothing she could do......and my mum was forcing her to quit her job- she works long shifts 7-7 so granted childcare is tricky.
Fast forward a few months and my mum is still looking after my sisters children on the arranged days- she begins to have money problems. ( I should point out that having reduced my own working hours we were significantly worse off and I was struggling to make ends meet)
sister then advised mum she needed to work an additional shift a week and mum said ok. This has been going on for quite some time.....all the while my mum complains about having to do it and how it is affecting her health. She has chronic fatigue disorder.
I have on numerous occasions tried to stand up to my sister and say what she is doing is wrong. Last time i tried this she attempted to hit me in front of our children then turned everuthinh around on me and made it all my fault. She emotionally guilty my mum and criticises everything she does in relation to the childcare. She pays nothing for the privilege even though my mum is feeding them and often has them overnight. She bitches nonstop about my mum behind her back.
This weekend I was taken ill. I was really poorly and was rushed to hospital. I got sent home to rest and I asked if my mum could pop round and help me put the kids to bed. She agreed and all was fine. Later today I received a call that today was her only day off and that she was a bit tired and had the other children early tomorrow so can someone else do it. There was no one else so I said I will manage. This is just one example of the many times visits, kids getting to see their nanny and sleepovers have been dropped with barely any notice because of the effects of having to micro manage my sisters life. It's ruining y relationship with my mum and her relationship with my children. They have asked why nanny loves the other children more than them. I have told her so many times before how it makes me feel and nothing changes. It hurts so much. What's worse is that I fainted in front of the kids tonight. They were petrified and I feel awful for putting them through that. Could have been completely avoided.
AIBU?
to think my mum doesn't care about me.
tigersbuddy · 27/11/2016 23:25
Sorry I have no advice but I totally get where you are as I'm in the same place. My sisters assaulted me on 3 separate occasions (for pulling her up on this kind of crap) she has all but destroyed my and my daughters relationship with my mother BUT can I just say to pp saying it's not the mums fault. In my case it is because she favoured and gave in to my sister all her life and still is, you reap what you sow. I'm now Nc with my sister following counselling just because we're related doesn't mean I have to tolerate this shit plus it was starting to affect my daughter.
My mums let me down on numerous occasions like the op times when I seriously needed her support I couldn't even get her on the phone. I'm very low contact with mum and probably should go Nc with her too but I can't do it, very hard to cut off your mum.
But it's heartbreaking and unfair 
for op and hope you're doing much better soon.
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