About Christmas ... ?

(21 Posts)
ihatebottleflipping Sat 26-Nov-16 20:15:35

Be gentle, please!

I really don't want to volunteer anywhere - can't explain why. I am actually committed to some voluntary work but not on Christmas Day.

Im no stranger to spending Christmas alone - have done so since 2001 i think, with only two exceptions. But I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it. to the point of wondering if I should neck a load of night nurse! and sleep through it.

NoraCharlesMartiniGlass Sat 26-Nov-16 20:22:44

This can be a shitty time of year for all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons.

Can you say a little bit about what you hate about it?

flowers

Rainydayspending Sat 26-Nov-16 20:23:45

YANBU. I've done only a couple of on my own Christmas' (volunteer fails, let down by friends). I am not even a fan of Christmas that much. But it sucks.
This year it's just me and the baby (1st Christmas) because we've been let down by dh and family. His 1st Christmas ffs.
Properly grinch now.
There's sometime though ... is there a friend that might be able to host? (Not an option with a baby though).

expatinscotland Sat 26-Nov-16 20:24:33

Sleep through it. It's a shit time for a lot of people. It's pretty patronising for people to tell such people to go volunteer somewhere.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sat 26-Nov-16 20:28:03

I would be happy never have to deal with Christmas again. I hate it.

ForalltheSaints Sat 26-Nov-16 20:33:07

If you don't sleep through it then find something you want to watch on a DVD.

YouTheCat Sat 26-Nov-16 20:36:04

Dvd boxset and crisps. Ignore that it's Christmas.

ihatebottleflipping Sat 26-Nov-16 20:36:23

Thank you for being nice! The problem is I'm not really into DVDs or films not for the whole Christmas Day anyway

Halloweensnake Sat 26-Nov-16 20:38:12

Buy your favourite foods,favourite bath oils,and get Netflix or dvds.paint yr toenails,have a girly day where you have a bath and a face pack,cook yr favourite meal,watch what you want on tv.....having first bought yourself some presents ,what have you always wanted?? Buy it for yourself to use on Christmas Day....I just had a naughty idea,treat yourself to a rabbit..especially for Christmas x .

ihatebottleflipping Sat 26-Nov-16 20:39:08

This is where it's so hard to explain, you can do nice stuff but it's still a horrible day x

Halloweensnake Sat 26-Nov-16 20:44:14

If your on your own,nothing is expected from you,you don't have to cook for U greatful fuckers,or spend hours sorting out arguments,or watching a film you don't want to....the day is yours to enjoy as you wish ,with no fucker bothering you or annoying you or demanding answers to a million stupid questions...a day to yourself to do as you please ,,to not share the chocolates ,to get up when you want ,to go to bed when you want,to nap in the afternoon....

NoraCharlesMartiniGlass Sat 26-Nov-16 20:44:32

Yes, I get that completely.

So it's a case of getting through it as best you can? What kinds of strategies do you use to get you through? Has anything worked in the past? (Apart from Night Nurse!)

ihatebottleflipping Sat 26-Nov-16 20:46:29

Yes OK Halloween, maybe you should try it? If you think it would be so good?

I don't know Nora. I dread it. Not the buildup but the day itself lasts forever and is awful.

Halloweensnake Sat 26-Nov-16 20:46:47

Failing all that.......it's just another day.will be over in the blink of an eye x

BeattieBowRisenFromTheDead Sat 26-Nov-16 20:47:21

YANBU. I really love Christmas but the idea that everyone should be with beloved family and have a magical time is very damaging IMO. Some people have crap family, some people cannot be with beloved family however dearly they might desire it, and even fairly happy families can run into problems under the strain of so much 'togetherness'.

Is there anything that could actually make the day bearable for you OP, or is it simply a painful date?

I've spent a few Christmases alone but have also had a few unexpectedly lovely ones with friends and acquaintances. Also volunteered which was hilarious but I agree 100% it's not a magic cure-all for everyone.

ihatebottleflipping Sat 26-Nov-16 20:53:48

I'm not sure! I hate sounding like the grinch, I would really enjoy it but it's just circumstances. Unfortunately it's not only a day at all. If it was everyone wouldn't spend the best part of 3 months preparing.

NoraCharlesMartiniGlass Sat 26-Nov-16 20:53:59

Yes, I understand that way awful days have of stretching out forever. When days are so painful or frightening or unbearable that I think I can't get through them I still use that really childlike strategy of "by this time tomorrow this'll all be over". It helps me to focus on the fact that, no matter how bad it feels, it won't last forever.

I wish I could say something actually helpful but I don't think there is anything really, except to just say that what you're feeling is completely reasonable.

harderandharder2breathe Sat 26-Nov-16 21:02:23

Yanbu

I am spending Christmas alone by choice but fully understand it can be awful (once had to spend it alone in my room while landlady and her whole family celebrated downstairs... I've never been so lonely in my life).

Do low key things that you enjoy without putting pressure on yourself (e.g. have a soak in the bath but don't go overboard with pamper products etc), as it sounds like it would feel forced. Go for a walk somewhere off the beaten track (to avoid people playing happy families). Eat nice food that's easy to prepare and not festive like a nice pizza or steak. Do something productive to take your mind off it, like cleaning out your kitchen cupboards. Nap. Don't turn on the telly.

Be kind to yourself, do nice things but don't pressurise yourself to have the best day ever. It's maybe 16 hours (awake) of your life, you will get through it the best you can flowerscakebrew

DiegeticMuch Sun 27-Nov-16 21:11:21

I've got close friends going through tough times (chemo in one case, divorce plus looming redundancy in another) who are finding the long build up and jollity very hard, and just want the festive season to be over. Christmas Day 2016 is there to be got through, for them.

As a culture we are so OTT about Christmas. The TV advertisements don't help.

I've no advice OP but I "get" it. All I can offer is assurance that you're not the only one for whom bedtime on Christmas Day can't come quickly enough.

hesterton Sun 27-Nov-16 21:16:45

Spend some time with virtual companions here on MN?

Walk out for part of the day - you won't be the only one on your own- maybe a few kind words to greet people you pass?

At least that way you'll have spoken to someone on Christmas day.

cakebrew

ssd Sun 27-Nov-16 21:30:56

I'm sorry Christmas day looming is so awful op thanks

Theres no easy solution, the best I can say is try to be kind to yourself and know there is nothing wrong with the way you feel.

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