To be really cross about this?

(11 Posts)
peaspie Thu 24-Nov-16 13:01:36

Have name changed so other posts cannot be linked.

I split up with exh the father of my children a long time ago. Ex was a complete arse and actually my family don't know the half of how abusive he was. They just think he was useless.

My issues lies in the fact that one of my Children looks a lot like their father and that causes issues. My and Grandparent take pictures of the DC but then if the DC looks like Dad in any of the photos they delete them or if I buy school photos of the children and they look like Dad they put them away and refuse to put them up. The child who looks most like Dad is old enough to notice now and excuses have been made but I'm feeling cross about it.

At the end of the day they are my DC and their grandchildren and if I can accept that they look like Dad so should they

Magicpaintbrush Thu 24-Nov-16 13:06:05

YANBU. That is insane and very hurtful behaviour. Kids look like their parents, it isn't big news! Have you taken your grandparents to one side and explained how hurtful your DC are finding this odd behaviour? I mean where will it end? Will they one day refuse to see your DC in real life too if they end up resembling their dad even more as they get older?? Total madness.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 24-Nov-16 13:07:37

Yanbu you poor child can't help who they resemble it must be very hurtful for them

Allthewaves Thu 24-Nov-16 13:07:45

That's just weird. Your dc is his own person. I'd be having stron words

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 24-Nov-16 13:10:27

That's such a shame. Have they openly admitted they put photos away if he looks like his dad in them? Or is this just something you think they are doing?

If they have told you they're doing it have you asked them why it bothers them so much?

Nanny0gg Thu 24-Nov-16 13:10:30

Bloody hell! I've heard it all now! Your poor DC.

If it wasn't for him they wouldn't have any DGC (whatever they look like) - have they thought of that?

I'd be keeping them all away until they can act like normal human beings.

TheNaze73 Thu 24-Nov-16 13:27:42

Weirdness of the highest order. YANBU

peaspie Thu 24-Nov-16 13:32:42

It is my Mum and grandparent. Phone deleted a word out of the op for some reason.

They don't say anything to dc obviously other than they haven't had time to put it up yet but when I have questioned they have admitted the reason to me.

I did have words and the picture did go up but was swapped quickly.

FlyingElbows Thu 24-Nov-16 13:36:43

One of the reasons my mother doesn't like me is because I look like my father, she freely admits this. It's lunacy. If you can protect your child from this mindset please do because it's awful.

peaspie Thu 24-Nov-16 13:40:26

They don't treat the dc differently face to face btw or I would have put a stop to visits long ago.

Flying that's awful. I HATE exh but I would never not like my child because of him.

FatOldBag Thu 24-Nov-16 14:51:22

That's horrible. Don't let them have or take ANY photos of any of the children from now on.

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