Same unwanted Christmas present every year

[TheWorldIsMine]

A few years back my mum became obsessed with the "farmers market" and used to go on about it constantly. She then bought some homemade soap from there and went on about them constantly. Once when I was at her house she showed me them - awful colourful, weird smelling things that I wouldn't put anywhere near my skin but as she was excited by them, I smiled and said they were nice.

Low and behold, I ended up with a load of them as a Christmas present. I never used them but felt guilty throwing them away so shoved them in the bottom on my wardrobe whilst telling my mum they were very nice.

Next year, same thing with my mum gushing about "well I know how much you like them do I bought you more!". Slightly less enthusiastic this time (and recognising a trend) a said "oh, thanks. I still have some of the ones from last year :-) " but she didn't get my hint.

Next year, same thing but this time with granny worthy "lavender" bath bombs. She asked if I got "the soaps" so I said "yes, thank you". This time I added "although these will last me a while, I have very sensitive skin so tend to use sanex in my bath etc otherwise my skin dries out". She STILL didn't get the hint so nearer Christmas last year I made a huge point of saying "oh shame I can't use soaps and stuff as I'm sure DH would like to buy me them - but I've told him - under no circumstances get me soap as I can't use it". Can you believe, Christmas Day I still ended up with homemade soaps, lavender bath soaps and a very odd bottle of perfume (not being a snob but she knows I only use designer perfume).

I'll end up with soap again this year. How do I stop it or do I just gracefully accept to be grateful? Why is she missing all the hints???

[Blackfellpony]

This happens to me every year

No advice as I can't stop it either, I just repeating how much soap I have left over from the past few years!

[OwlinaTree]

Buy here the same gift you got her last year?

[Tezza1]

"Develop" eczema.

[TheWorldIsMine]

That's the thing, I bought her a bottle of baileys a few years back, I know she loves it and she was pleased with it. Next year I bought her another bottle to which she said "thanks for the baileys but I already had half a bottle left over from last year" so I've not bought it since! It's not hard to pick up on these hints is it?

[QueenLaBeefah]

I was going to write the same as Tezza. I have genuinely developed very sensitive skin so can't use soaps with perfume or colouring.

[TheWorldIsMine]

Tezza, I've tried that. She doesn't have a clue and said "oh well all those soaps will help that, won't they?" 😳🙄 I repeated that I can now only use sanex (which is mostly true!) yet it fell on deaf ears.

[abbsisspartacus]

Tell her you have developed a sudden intense allergy to them?

Freegle what you have in your wardrobe

[acquiescence]

Regift to friends or your in laws. I love stuff like this so sure someone will like it!

[Florene]

"Please don't buy me soap again this year".

I fear you may have been too subtle previously, this should do it.

[icanteven]

I think everybody has crazy parents at Christmas time except me (it's only me and Dad - Mum died a few years ago):

Me: Dad, it's Christmas soon.
Him: Oh yes, so it is. Am I expected to do anything?
Me: Well, we really need a new mattress. It's started making weird noises.
Him: Great. Just let me know when you want it and make sure you have my credit card number. Will you sort out the kids on the card too?
Me: Yes I will. Thanks Dad!

End of.

I'll buy him a print, or some antique silver, but that's it. He doesn't like Christmas anyway.

So excited about my new mattress.

[Blu]

Tell her what you would like and say you still have the soaps so this year could you have new gloves / a book / gin.

YABU to throw the soaps away! Donate to the school fair or pass them on to someone at work. Many people love this stuff.

[TheOptimisticButtercunt]

If she's not picking up on the subtle hints, and you're really struggling to keep a smiling face when you open them, then tell her straight...ish?

'DM I really appreciate the soaps and I've enjoyed receiving them as gifts but unfortunately they aggravate my skin condition so much now that I can't use them. I'm just telling you because it would be such a shame for you to spend money on them when I won't be able to enjoy them properly. A nice [non-soap present] would be lovely though'

[gamerchick]

You could parcel up all of the soaps in a big basket and length of clear plastic with a bow and give them to her this year for Christmas. It'll be a Kodak moment for sure.

[Freedom2016]

Can you get them out for or give them away to guests? I love a fancy soap.

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

Last year DH's xmas gift from his mum was some preserves that she didn't want from a Christmas basket she'd received.

[LestatVonGaribaldi]

Why don't you collect up your old soaps, put them in a new basket and regift them back to your mum with 'i know how much you love them so I bought you some too'

[Freedom2016]

But yes. You do need to say - mum please don't buy me smelly soap. Please get me chocolates/crackers cheese and wine/toffees/a gift basket of sanex/a candle or whatever else you would like. I have repeated 8 times to my parents that I would like a new mascara this year with the exact brand. And my mum has repeated every year to me - get me vouchers. And if I have dared to not get her vouchers she says Can I swap this for vouchers? Just be direct and clear about what you would be happy with.

[Ladyformation]

ican'teven your Dad sounds great

Agree with the others OP - time to drop the hints and just tell her - or give up and accept it for the slightly hilarious thing it is.

[TheTartOfAsgard]

I'd do what gamer suggests

[shinynewusername]

"Please don't buy me soap again this year". This.

But also give her a suggestion of some things you would like - in a non-grabby way. She might be deaf to the hints because she doesn't know what else to get.

[5to2]

Give the soaps to a charity shop.

[Trifleorbust]

I'll take them!

[SootSprite]

Okay, so you've tried the softly-softly approach and it hasn't worked. What's stopping you being more direct?

Why not just say to her ' Mum, please do not buy me any soaps, bath bombs or anything like that. It is a waste. I cannot use them. They hurt my skin. How about a ???? (Insert gift of choice here) instead?'

If she then still gets you this crap, when she asks simply tell her 'I don't know why you bought me this shite as I told you I cannot use them. Please have them back, they are of no use to me, like I said before Christmas.'

[Maverickismywingman]

Less hints.
More "I don't really use them but would love XXXX for Christmas this year".

She thinks you like them. She's not doing it to be a meanie.
I'm not sure I'd regift them to her for Christmas either. Sorry, I just don't think that's a particularly nice thing to do. By all means give them to her. But not for Christmas.

[BarbaraofSeville]

This is what happens when no-one feels they can be honest and tell the truth for fear of being seen as rude and ungrateful.