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AIBU?

"My little man crush" said to my 2 year old.

52 replies

Sweetyc · 24/11/2016 02:15

AIBU to dislike this saying? I know it's like 'woman crush' to women who are heterosexual, etc. but I just don't like it.

Is it something that would bother you?

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Mynestisfullofempty · 24/11/2016 02:35

Well, first of all I can't stand "little man" and who would talk about having a "crush" on a 2 year old? Who said this?

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Sweetyc · 24/11/2016 02:40

My sister!!

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theeyeofthetigerbread · 24/11/2016 02:40

An adult male was saying that they have a 'man crush' on your 2 y/o boy?

I'd find that unpleasant too, though not any more unpleasant than a woman saying they had a regular 'crush' on a male toddler, or a 'girl crush' on a female toddler.

For me, it's of the same ilk as saying a toddler is a flirt / heartbreaker / 'my little boyfriend' - etc., all of which I've heard friends use innocently and lightheartedly. I think there's an unnecessary casual sexualisation of children there.

I think YABU to object to 'man crush' as a phrase in its own right though.

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Sweetyc · 24/11/2016 02:42

Where did I say I object to man crush?

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876TaylorMade · 24/11/2016 02:49

Nope.

I have one nephew in a sea of nieces... my mum absolutely adores him as we all do...sometimes call him "little man"...and "man crush".

Its innocent...and only family. From a stranger I'd be bothered.

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theeyeofthetigerbread · 24/11/2016 02:49

You said 'AIBU to dislike this saying'.

Did I misunderstand?

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Sweetyc · 24/11/2016 02:50

I object to the saying "my little man crush" as it's obvious they're talking about a child.

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theeyeofthetigerbread · 24/11/2016 02:53

And as I said, I agree with you that in the context, applied to a child, it feels unpleasant.

If my husband said he had a 'little man crush' on his friend, it would feel very different because 'little' would clearly refer to the man-crush, not the man.

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Bogeyface · 24/11/2016 03:46

Crush to me implies it is a lustful type feeling. Anyone who has had a crush on a member of the opposite sex knows how that feels, and to apply that to a child is creepy and wrong.

I get that your sister just means that she really loves him and thinks the world of him but is, as a pp said, casual sexualisation and the sooner it stops the better.

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Stanky · 24/11/2016 04:13

I don't really like things like this. I didn't like it when MIL used to say Hello sexy to her 3 year old god daughter either. It's just a bit weird.

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waitingforsomething · 24/11/2016 05:39

it has sexual connotations, although I think your sister is just awkwardly expressing her love for her nephew.
Yanbu, I would also object.

As for 'sexy' for a 3 year old girl - wtf?!

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splendide · 24/11/2016 06:06

I think it's a fairly tacky way of speaking but it wouldn't bother me. so I suppose yanbu to dislike the phrase but yabu it you're planning to make her stop saying it!

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HeteronormativeHaybales · 24/11/2016 06:42

Ugh. Horrible. Agree, casual sexualisation.

Anyone, family or not, saying something like that to any of my children would get a sharp 'Don't talk about my child in those terms, please' from me.

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WeatherwaxOrOgg · 24/11/2016 06:53

Eyeofthetiger I don't know why you're being so deliberately irritating. The OP clearly said little man crush as directed to her 2 year old son. We all know what she means.

OP - I can't agree more, ugh, I hate it. My daughters say these types of things about my eldest daughters baby sons and although they obviously don't mean anything sexual I just don't see why they have to use sexual terms. I find it weird and yukky to listen to. There are plenty of other ways to express your appreciation of their babyish loveliness than calling them sexy, your boyfriend or your little-man crush!

It's just cringeworthy imo.

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user1471545174 · 24/11/2016 07:17

Where did Eyeofthetiger get the adult male from? It's the OP's sister!

Bit of an icky phrase but, coming from a sister, harmless.

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theeyeofthetigerbread · 24/11/2016 07:30

Not being deliberately irritating! Just missing the point a bit in an exhausted up-with-baby fuzz in the early hours.

My first post was a x post before the op explained it was her sister. When she said 'AIBU to dislike this phrase', I'd thought she was objecting to the phrase 'man crush', which I've only ever heard used by a man towards a man. The OP compared it to 'woman crush', which I've only heard used by women towards women.

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SoupDragon · 24/11/2016 07:33

I don't think i would have a problem with it given the context (close friend or family, clearly just afffection). Little kids have crushes on each other (Mine was a boy in preschool when I was 4... I still remember him fondly!) so that makes it innocent to me.

when MIL used to say Hello sexy to her 3 year old god daughter either.

THIS, however, is completely wrong. Ugh.

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pictish · 24/11/2016 07:35

It's well intentioned and harmless, right? An expression of affection.

Wouldn't phase me at all.

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pictish · 24/11/2016 07:36

*faze

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Trifleorbust · 24/11/2016 07:42

Annoyingly tacky language but obviously harmless.

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RoseGoldHippie · 24/11/2016 07:43

theeyeofthetigerbread

That's how I've heard it too - I don't think I've ever heard a heterosexual man say "I have a woman crush" but I say it about famous women all the time!

Same way we wind my DP and friends DP up by calling the other their "man crush" haha :)

But I don't know how I feel about this being said to a 2 year old TBH. I don't have dc so don't know if it would bother me or not, it's probably something I would say now and not think about it being sexual, but then I relate crushes to when I was at primary school and at most wanted to hand hold with a boy.

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AuntieStella · 24/11/2016 07:46

I think it's very tacky.

And I don't find the creeping sexualisation of language to have any merits at all.

Especially in relation to DC, where it's creepy. In relation to adults though, the one that left me trying to politely stifle the urge to laugh was when someone was talking about the 'money shot' at her wedding.

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pictish · 24/11/2016 07:58

Honestly people will find anything to bitch about...even the most innocuous things.

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RoseGoldHippie · 24/11/2016 07:59

AuntieStella

What on earth is a "money shot"? Hehe

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Isitadoubleentendre · 24/11/2016 08:01

This wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but at the same time if a man said it the a 2 year old it would be all sorts of wrong so......i dunno really.

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