What can I do about my friend?

(31 Posts)
Greenandyellowspottyumbrella Wed 23-Nov-16 16:25:22

My best friend has been having a difficult time recently, she's been down a lot, most of it is to do with her boyfriend they argue a lot and she's told me that's been really getting to her.
We usually speak every couple of days to a week, see each other every couple of weeks but commenting/tagging each other in pictures ect on social media in between.
I haven't heard from her coming up to 3 weeks now, she hasn't been online at all, hasn't replied to my messages or texts, hasn't picked up the phone.
The first week or so I assumed maybe her phone had broken as that's pretty standard of her, I messaged and text a couple times.
I tried to ring her a few days ago, rang but she didn't answer, tried to ring today a few times as I'm really getting worried now, rang no answer, then I tried again about an hour later and it went straight to voicemail.
She is not the sort of person to cut someone out of their life without explanation, if she was upset with me she would come at me all guns blazing she certainly wouldn't give me the silent treatment so I know it's not that.
Maybe she's just feeling down and doesn't want to talk to anybody, hence the ringing and then it going straight to voice mail a while after, but again that is really really unlike her, I've known her for nearly all my life and she would tell me if she needed space.
I'm just so confused and really worried.
I've just messaged her boyfriend, but I don't have his number so it was on Facebook and he's not really into that so I doubt he'll check it anytime soon.
Other than that I have no idea what I can possibly do?

kimlo Wed 23-Nov-16 16:26:53

go and see her?

Sugarcoma Wed 23-Nov-16 16:28:23

Can you get in touch with her parents/siblings/other relatives?

shrunkenhead Wed 23-Nov-16 16:28:53

Go round to her house. That's all you can do to reassure yourself she's ok.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Wed 23-Nov-16 16:32:16

Go to her house
Try contacting friends, family or colleagues
If you have no luck any of these routes I would call 111

Creampastry Wed 23-Nov-16 16:34:23

Go to her house???

OohhThatsMe Wed 23-Nov-16 16:34:31

Can you tell if she's been online lately?

OohhThatsMe Wed 23-Nov-16 16:35:26

Sorry, just re-read your opening post and saw you'd answered that.

If you don't live nearby, I'd call 111. If you do, I'd go round to the house first.

OohhThatsMe Wed 23-Nov-16 16:35:55

Does she go to work? Could you call her there?

ExpatMrs Wed 23-Nov-16 16:39:08

If you're not in visiting distance, do you have contact details of anyone who is? Agree with PP, could you contact her work?

Greenandyellowspottyumbrella Wed 23-Nov-16 16:44:46

She hasn't been online for nearly 3 weeks.
Not working at the moment.
I don't have her parents number anymore.
I was planning to go round earlier, it's just when I rang again and it went straight to voicemail it made me think she just doesn't want to talk to me, so turning up on her doorstep at that time maybe wouldn't be the best thing.
I should go round there though.

SaltySalt Wed 23-Nov-16 16:46:08

I'd go round

SuperFlyHigh Wed 23-Nov-16 16:55:23

Go round.

weeblueberry Wed 23-Nov-16 16:59:44

If you want to sleep tonight you're going to have to go round aren't you? Isn't a few minutes of bollocking (if she's pissed at you) better than never know what happened?

AcrossthePond55 Wed 23-Nov-16 17:00:10

Go round. Even if she slams the door in your face at least you'll know she's OK.

Liiinoo Wed 23-Nov-16 17:01:29

Go round. She might be pissed off with you or she might be relieved to see a friendly face.

Yamadori Wed 23-Nov-16 17:01:56

Do you have any mutual friends? If you contact them and ask, they might have been in touch with her recently and know she's all right.

Definitely go round. Like someone said at worst if nothing is amiss the door will get slammed, but in time she will see you were worried and had her best interests at heart. She could be in a bad situation and pride is stopping her from asking for help. You might be the lifeline she needs.

SharkSkinThing Wed 23-Nov-16 17:03:12

I do this a bit when I'm feeling low, shut the world out and don't want to see anyone.

But if a friend turned up with a hug and a bunch of flowers, I would be really touched that they had thought of me.

Pop round. She might not want you to come in, but she'll be happy you made the extra effort.

I hope your friend is ok, and good on you for being so thoughtful.

PumpkinsOnTheMantlepiece Wed 23-Nov-16 17:04:47

I would pop a note through the door saying you were worried and thinking of her. She might not be in a fit state (pajamas etc) to answer the door.

Shakey15000 Wed 23-Nov-16 17:04:55

I'd go round also.

CoolCarrie Wed 23-Nov-16 17:05:01

Go round and see her, and if there is no answer maybe knock on neighbours door, just to ask if they have seen her. Do you have her parents address at all?

OohhThatsMe Wed 23-Nov-16 17:08:24

Don't put a note through. It might not get to her.

weeblueberry Wed 23-Nov-16 17:10:09

Don't put a note through. It might not get to her.

Glad it's not just me that was thinking that way. You need to look her in the eye OP and know what the score is.

anotherdayanothersquabble Wed 23-Nov-16 18:00:58

Text her that you are worried and are coming round but if she doesn't want to see you to please let you know that she is OK.

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