Don't know how to handle serious illness

(3 Posts)
pumpkinpumkin Tue 22-Nov-16 10:36:22

My dads in hospital, he's very sick. We are waiting on test results to see whether his cancer that has been previously treated has spread. We just don't know what will happen but based on his luck to date we are expecting the worst news.

If it is the worst news there is nothing they can do. AIBU to not know how to handle the next few weeks if he can't be helped. What do you say to him, how can I help him?

liz70 Tue 22-Nov-16 10:50:36

flowers to you. It's likely that your dad will know and be fairly resigned to this being the end, if the results are as you fear. When my FIL was diagnosed with terminal cancer, his words were "Well, I suppose I have to die of something… " Your dad may very well be looking forward to a release from his pain and illness by now, if it is terminal.

Ask if your father would prefer to be at home, if this can be arranged - his GP can help in arranging home care. Make sure he's kept comfortable as is possible, whether at home or in hospital. And talk about anything you or he wish to - family memories, whatever. There are no rules.

I'm sure other people will be able to give more support and advice. Keep strong. flowers

Babyroobs Tue 22-Nov-16 10:51:15

I think you just have to be led by him. Some people on getting bad news just want to stay in denial for a while or take time to come to terms with things before they want to talk. Just let him know that you are there for him and take advantage of any professional support you can get from health professionals/ Mcmillan Nurses etc. YANBU not to know how to deal with things as it is not (thankfully )something we are faced with often and everyone copes differently. Hope you find the support you need.

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