To nag or not to nag?

[Dannygirl]

Just a little rant. My DH is a great dad but disorganised and doesn't listen. I do all the arranging - presents for kids' birthdays, weekend play dates, medical appointments, school admin etc like many mums I am sure. I sometimes ask him to help out on stuff like this which he says he will do happily. He tells me I don't need to repeat/remind him - if I have asked him he will do it, he really hates being nagged, thinks I don't trust him etc. But a case in point this afternoon. I have put my back out so I am laid up in bed I can hardly walk. I had asked him to go to parents evening without me then on to DS's dentist appointment. I gave him the times, told him who to ask for. He called me to check. Fine. I am doing a work call from bed, come down to find he hasn't gone to the dentist appointment, he forgot apparently. They've set off but will be late and unlikely to be seen now. It's not easy to arrange these things around school and other commitments so I am really annoyed. Also - what do I do - nag/remind till I am confident he will remember (but risk putting his nose out of joint) or not remind and he forgets. Ugh. Rant over. But AIBU?

[TheNaze73]

The term nag isn't particularly nice in my eyes. It has negative female connotations.

YANBU, to have to keep repeatedly asking the same questions

[Dannygirl]

Yes I agree! In my eyes it's a gentle reminder, he just sees it as nagging!

[KP86]

Natural consequences. He stuffed up the appointment, he can organise a new one and get DS there.

If he doesn't want to be treated like a child then he needs to behave like an adult!!

[DoJo]

NavyandWhite

Anything that is important goes in DH's diary in his phone with a reminder. You could try that OP?

Do you mean you put it in his calendar or he does?

[FloodMud]

"Its unreasonable to ask me not to remind you of important appointments and then end up missing them. You need to come up with a solution for remembering what you have agreed."

Put the ball in his court. Nag is such a horrible fucking word.