to want DD (11) to drop 'piss on chips' friend

(4 Posts)
FriendsForFriends Mon 21-Nov-16 12:51:35

With the switch to secondary DD's competitive friend has really ramped it up. I get she's feeling insecure but does every last thing have to be 'won'. Examples in the last week included but are in no way limited it - house points, higher soprano, reading a series of books and seeing a film in 3D rather than 2D.

I've previously handed DD the grip, and having overheard some of it, it is being said in a 'I'm better' shutting a conversation down way.
The friend , in different form, is also trying to ingratiate herself into an it girl clique in DD's class who steadfastly ignore/are openly hostile to DD.

I'm so fed up with building up DDs ego outside of school just to see it being crushed. Well this ever settle down? They were good, not perfect, friends all through primary school.

baconandeggies Mon 21-Nov-16 12:54:07

What does your DD want?

FriendsForFriends Mon 21-Nov-16 13:10:24

I think DD is conflicted. loyalty to a longterm friendship mixed with unsatisfactory daily encounters.

So far I've stuck to 'Yr7 is a time of change, everything will settle down' but I want to say "your old friend is trying to get in with a new group, let her go, she might turn on you to cement her place with new chums'

baconandeggies Mon 21-Nov-16 13:26:54

Hmm. Hard because you don't want her to get hurt, but also it's her choice... Short of bolstering her self esteem, talking about what 'kind friends' do, and encouraging her to make new friendships, I'm not sure what else you can do.

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