To request no gifts for my new baby?

(59 Posts)
BobbieDog Sun 20-Nov-16 20:03:24

I know this is possibly unheard of but is it rude to request no gifts for the arrival of dc2?

When i had dd who is 4, i got quite abit of stuff that was not practical, stuff that was 12 months too big, pointless things etc. If im honest 99% went to the charity shop.

I hate storing clothing in bigger sizes (this time round i will struggle for storage space) and i hate dresses, tights, stiff denim etc.

I would much rather people saved their money and just brought themselves when they come to see the new baby.

What would you think to this request?

GreenTureen Sun 20-Nov-16 20:05:14

It will sound rude and ungrateful. There's no way to word it nicely IMO and you're bound to put someone out.

Just be more obvious (in a subtle way grin ) - start talking about what you need, what you hate NOW to people you think might buy for baby.

EsmesBees Sun 20-Nov-16 20:06:43

Well it's up to you. But people do like to buy for a new baby, especially if they bought for the sibling. So maybe a better approach would be to try and direct the gift buying to things you actually want. Just mention to people that you still have loads of clothes from last time, but you'd love some more books, or whatever.

BobbieDog Sun 20-Nov-16 20:06:51

I really really dont want it to sound rude.

Surely people will be glad that they dont feel obliged to fork out for a gift?

Wishful thinking...

Softkitty2 Sun 20-Nov-16 20:07:04

I think you can ask for vouchers instead and use it on what you actually need. Or if they insists on gifts take it and give it to a charity, i'm sure there are lots of people in need of baby clothes and you are doing a good deed.

Rosae Sun 20-Nov-16 20:07:46

Tbh, I'd probably still end up getting (or in my case making) a little something. It would feel weird and wrong for me to turn up without something.

BobbieDog Sun 20-Nov-16 20:07:59

My mum suggested mentioning gift vouchers instead if people really wanted to get the baby something but i think this is an even ruder request!

Bertucci Sun 20-Nov-16 20:08:10

I would think you a bit precious, tbh.

I am enormously fussy and was given loads of things I loathed - appliqué, slogans, mini versions of adult clothes etc.

But I accepted it all - took photos of the babies in the stuff and then donated it.

People like to buy stuff!

Temporaryname137 Sun 20-Nov-16 20:08:33

I totally understand, but I think people will want to buy you things.

free cycle is great for things you don't want, but other people will. I had one lady almost in tears when I gave her a duplicate video monitor, made my day to be able to do that smile

GreenTureen Sun 20-Nov-16 20:08:57

Just to say though, I don't disagree with you on sentiment.

When we were having dc2, my sister got us a huge gift basket of stuff the Xmas before he was born.

She put a LOT of effort in and it looked amazing - but it was full of stuff i'd never use. Dummy clips with big beads (shudder), shoes (never use them on babies), novelty dummies (expensive and lovely but the old fashioned shape that isn't recommended), bottles that were the wrong shape for the different branded steriliser we already had, baby powder (which I would never use) and so on.

It was lovely but a PITA and a waste at the same time.

Softkitty2 Sun 20-Nov-16 20:09:46

But I know what you mean about stiff clothing and dresses. We were gifted plenty but I never put my baby in elaborate dresses and synthetic fibres when she was under 6 months. It just seems so itchy and uncomfortable.

GreenTureen Sun 20-Nov-16 20:10:06

Wishful thinking..

Definitely! People love a cute bit of baby tat, however impractical useless it may be!

Pagwatch Sun 20-Nov-16 20:10:09

Jesus , don't ask for vouchers.

If you get given gifts and you really don't need or want them then give them away - charity shop, women's shelter.

It's not a big deal. People like to welcome a baby and rarely feel obliged. Telling then not to get a gift is a bit precious. Just say thank you and find a nice way to pass on anything you don't need.

Lalunya85 Sun 20-Nov-16 20:10:37

I wouldn't be offended at all. I think you can probably get away with it with some of your friends but not others? Friends d who have had more than one child should really understand.
If it's any consolation, we got much fewer presents for our second baby, I guess it just feels like less of an event to other people compared to a firstborn.

Otherwise, lucky charity shops!smile

lanbro Sun 20-Nov-16 20:11:05

Anything from high street shops can usually be returned for a credit note if you've not got a receipt. Or re-gift. But you definitely can't ask for no gifts!

BobbieDog Sun 20-Nov-16 20:11:45

Green

Thats the kind of things i got last time!

My family dont have alot of money and i know one person in particular would put the expense of the gift on her never reducing credit card.

Jenijena Sun 20-Nov-16 20:14:25

I told both grandmas 'no clothes please' on the day I got home with DS2. We'd charity shopped out one bin bag of clothes we'd stored from DS1 that was nearly all brand new (on the basis that if we hadn't used it first time, wasn't going to happen another fine) and still had loads of things hardly worn.

I didn't say no presents to anyone else, but I was much more ruthless putting things on the charity shop pile as soon as they came in. I think DH thought I was OTT but I found the mounds of clothes so overwhelming and stress inducing with DS1 I didn't want it again.

So my advice - tell those you think you can, sort what you have. I've surprised myself in how many new gifts I have used but there's still loads gone to charity without, this time, any guilt.

Now- how do you tell everyone that your eight month old has enough toys for life already and really doesn't know anything about Christmas, so really, don't bother...

BobbieDog Sun 20-Nov-16 20:14:39

I did think of one you mumsnetters would of come up with a poem that i could use...

grin

Princesspinkgirl Sun 20-Nov-16 20:15:44

I'm in a one bed flat due Christmas day and people have already bought loads in next sizes and I'm struggling to store it all I am talking sized 6-9 and 12 months I also have a abundance of toys for baby now as well again of family and friends I am greatful but storage is a issue I don't think it's rude at all just say it's something you don't want to do

GreenTureen Sun 20-Nov-16 20:16:41

I'm due with dc3 in May so i'm awaiting my gift basket on Xmas Day already grin

There's just no way to tell my family not to...because to do so i'd have to appear ungrateful about the last beautiful and expensive basket of tat they gave me.

My family are amazing except for that and I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings so i'm just staying silent because it's easier all round.

Bluebeck Sun 20-Nov-16 20:16:50

If one of my friends made this request I would think them very odd but I wouldn't think them rude.

Couldashouldawoulda Sun 20-Nov-16 20:18:14

Why don't you ask people to bring some food, if they'd like to bring you something? That's always useful, esp if they bring you a meal. You could just mention that you've got tons of clothes and toys already from last time.

ICJump Sun 20-Nov-16 20:19:05

I think people tend to give less with a second child so that might help

BobbieDog Sun 20-Nov-16 20:19:17

Its well known that i was not planning on ever having another child and therefore everyone knows i have absolutely nothing from when dd was born. Not so much as a vest!

Ilovehedgehogs Sun 20-Nov-16 20:20:54

I think that you should accept graciously and then donate to charity, it what I do every Christmas and avoids hurt feelings.

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