Wibu to restrict dss' access to the ipad?

(15 Posts)
FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Sun 20-Nov-16 13:05:58

Saw Dss recently during his contact time with Dp.

I have an ipad that I use for uni work and mumsnet, not a long of child friendly stuff on it (games etc), partly because it doesn't have a huge memory and partly because I wouldn't have any use for it myself!

So, saw dss and this time for some reason he is very interested in playing with the ipad, was asking me to download a few games and things on it, which I did for him and he spent a good portion of the day playing on it. He was happy so its all fine.

This weekend was not supposed to be DP's contact weekend but dp gets a message saying that dss wants to come and stay over again. It turns out, during the course of their conversation, that dss wants to come over so he can play on the ipad.

Wibu, in future, to restrict dss' access to the ipad? Dp only gets to see him EOW and I would hate for him to come over and spend all his time of the ipad and not interacting with DP. Or would this be being mean to dss? I don't want to deprive him of something he enjoys but equally I also dont want him to come here only because he wants to play with it confused

Bluntness100 Sun 20-Nov-16 13:11:56

I think there is a huge plus that he wants to see his dad, and no i wouldn't restrict access because it may mean the child doesn't come over so much any more and uour partner will blame you.

Your partner can still interact with him when he's playing with it, they can do games together.

For me, no I wouldn't, I'd let that decision be my partners, unless uou don't want the child over and see this as a way of limiting it?

Astro55 Sun 20-Nov-16 13:14:45

It's sad that the boy chioses the iPad over dads company

If you go into setting you can set the iPad to be restricted to different apps for a period of time -

I'll see if I can find a link

MissVictoria Sun 20-Nov-16 13:15:09

Yes, i would restrict access.
He should be spending time with his dad when he visits, not glued to an ipad screen, especially when he only seems him EOW.

Astro55 Sun 20-Nov-16 13:17:52

It's - general - accessibility - guided access

When set go in app

Triple click home button

Set time

Done

They can't switch apps and it times out and locks the iPad

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Sun 20-Nov-16 13:18:46

No, not at all bluntness! Dss has only wanted to stay over recently, the offer has always been there but in the past he has not wanted to and preferred to go home after contact whereas the last few times he has actively wanted to stay over so we were really happy that he is enjoying his time here more. We thought this was a really good sign that he is wanting to come over more but then it transpired that he was mainly interested in coming over because of the ipad which, incidentally, he wouldn't have had access to anyway as I was at work and had it with me.

I just don't want dss to enjoy coming here because of the ipad if you see what I mean, and be disappointed if he can't play on it.

Dss has also been really lovely to me later, which has been really great (he was never horrible or anything but we've just gotten much closer recently) and now I'm starting to wonder if its only because I'm the one with the ipad confused

lalalalyra Sun 20-Nov-16 13:26:35

I think instead of seeing the ipad as a bad thing see it as something that your DP can build on. So some of the time he's there he gets the ipad, but you've got meal times and bed time which is good bonding time for them.

Anything that can be built on is a good thing.

honeylulu Sun 20-Nov-16 13:31:33

As many people do with their own children, you (or rather his dad) could restrict access to a certain number of hours a day or for set periods in the day?

Meadows76 Sun 20-Nov-16 13:38:47

Yeah he is not choosing the iPad over his Dad. Kids use iPads all the time with the resident parent and no one ever sees them choosing iPad over them fgs.

I would say to him he can have X amount of time on it, I wouldn't massively restrict it though, it's totally normal for kids to want to use technology

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Sun 20-Nov-16 13:44:41

I'm not adverse to him using the ipad at all meadows, I just don't want unrestricted access to playing on the ipad to be his main motivation for coming here.

Fwiw we went through a similar thing with his game boy ds at one point, he brought it with from home during contact and then all he wanted to do was play on it.

TheCakes Sun 20-Nov-16 19:21:31

What are his rules at home? Keep it consistent with them and there's no issue.

Bluntness100 Sun 20-Nov-16 19:27:18

How old is he? I think the fact he wants to come is a positive, so I'm not sure hard limiting it will have a positive effect, I'd maybe try to encourage him to do other things when he is there. If there is something better on offer then he will naturally limit the time he spends on it himself. Movies, family games, outings that sort of thing,

So instead of uou limiting it, give him better options so he limits it himself but it's still an incentive for him and he can play with it when he wishes.

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Sun 20-Nov-16 19:42:13

At home he is allowed to play on consoles/ds etc as much as he likes.

He is 8.

missyB1 Sun 20-Nov-16 19:47:33

Ok in our house screen time is strictly limited, our ds is nearly 8. When your as mentions the I pad tell him exactly how much time he is allowed on it for and set a timer.
Encourage your partner to arrange other activities for his time with his son.

abbsisspartacus Sun 20-Nov-16 19:50:18

Buy a cheap one for him with his own games then you can put the limits on it easier

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