To suddenly want to stop breastfeeding

(17 Posts)
Feedingnewbaby Wed 16-Nov-16 23:28:57

My baby is 5 weeks old, and I breastfed older DC until 12 months and it was quite important to me to breastfeed again, I got stressed at the start thinking it might not go OK.

Yesterday and today I just feel like I've had enough though, I'm exhausted, baby is fussing and wanting to feed constantly, and I feel guilty that toddler isn't getting enough attention.
I've tried expressing but it doesn't seem to work for me I can barely get anything, I don't even want to hold her because I know she wants to feed as soon as its me, I just want someone else to be able to do it and to have a break from constantly being the only one that's needed. I don't feel like Ive bonded with her much which isn't helping, I enjoyed BFing older DC but this time round I'm finding it horrible. I just feel like if I put her on bottles I'm basically trying to distance myself from her because there's no other reason not to breastfeed her other than me not wanting to, and I'm worried I'll regret it and feel guilty, but right now I just don't want to BF.

fc301 Wed 16-Nov-16 23:33:48

Try not to feel guilty. BF is HARD esp with a toddler. You could do both, some bottles so others can help you, you can see to your DC1 etc. It's difficult to bond when you're finding it so taxing. Bonding is more important than BF.
Basically follow your heart, do what works for you.
I had no milk. All 3 of my DC had 3-14 DAYS. They are all fine.

fc301 Wed 16-Nov-16 23:35:05

They are 9-14 now. I am certain all the antibodies are in the initial days.

user1477282676 Wed 16-Nov-16 23:36:38

YANBU you've done well. If you want to switch, then do it! The baby will be just fine and you might get more sleep.

WorraLiberty Wed 16-Nov-16 23:36:38

You need to do what suits you without feeling guilty.

Parents (especially mothers) tend to suffer from life long parenting guilt, whether it's because they don't BF for long/they go out to work/they don't cook from scratch often enough/they can't get to sports days or nativity plays. The list is absolutely endless.

I happily formula fed all 3 of mine and it was lovely to have my body back after the pregnancies, and have my DH doing the night feeds etc.

You say there's no other reason not to breastfeed her other than me not wanting to.

That was enough reason for me.

user1477282676 Wed 16-Nov-16 23:37:07

Me too Worra smile

abigwideworld Wed 16-Nov-16 23:45:27

Currently trying to express milk for my two week old. YANBU

Greengoddess12 Wed 16-Nov-16 23:47:20

What worra said.

Couchpotato3 Wed 16-Nov-16 23:51:31

Feeding issues aside, is it worth having a chat with your GP or health visitor about how you are feeling more generally? Feeling guilty and stressed, and worried about bonding with your baby - could you have post-natal depression? Just a thought.

rubberducker Wed 16-Nov-16 23:51:36

If you don't want to then don't - your baby will be fine! However, if you're worried about feeling guilty down the line then it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Why not try mix feeding for a while to give you some respite but also keeping your options open. You may start using formula and love it and decide to stop bfing all together, or you may hate the faff of sterilising and bottles and fall back in love with bfing.

Ohyesiam Wed 16-Nov-16 23:55:09

That sounds like a really good reason to stop. Trust your instincts.

Iizzyb Thu 17-Nov-16 00:00:00

I stopped at 5 weeks - much more bonding having a bottle & looking at him than ages bf'ing & reading my kindle & so much more goddam time! I never looked back & ds is now 4 & as strong and healthy as the proverbial ox. Just do what you need to. I worried a lot but it was the best decision I made honestly xx

KnitsBakesAndReads Thu 17-Nov-16 00:17:20

I agree you shouldn't feel guilty about whatever you decide. You mention though that it felt important to you that you BF your DD and that you've been feeling that you don't want to yesterday and today. Is it worth you persevering for a little longer to see if those feelings pass? Could your DP or anyone else help you by perhaps looking after DD so you can spend some quality time with your older DC? And remember the "feed all the time" phase really doesn't last that long.

Definitely don't continue doing something you don't want to, but equally if BF is important to you then it's worth taking the time to think over your decision and not rush into something you might be unhappy with in the long run.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Corabell Thu 17-Nov-16 00:21:37

Could baby be having the growth spurt? It is hard with a toddler but it does suddenly get a bit easier around 6 weeks.

Would you consider mixed feeding? A bottle at a set time that someone else could give the baby while you have some one to one time with the toddler? It might make the breastfeeding seem less intense.

Of course if you are done, completely done then stop. I have moments like that and I remind myself that I don't have to love breastfeeding 100% of the time.

GiddyOnZackHunt Thu 17-Nov-16 00:28:47

The wanting to have a break and not feeling as bonded shouts PND to me as that characterised mine. First time felt warm and snuggly. Second felt spiky, draining and awful.
I did get help and it all worked out well. Antidepressants for me although I think I had anaemia too so do get that checked first.
Maybe have a chat with the HV and then cry all over the GP like I did

puddingandpiee Thu 17-Nov-16 01:41:08

You do what you feel is right!

YANBU - I stopped Bf after 5 weeks just because of how demanding DS was, It got to the point where I dreaded him waking up and I was so exhausted constantly. Since stopping I am much more relaxed and enjoying him more than ever and have slowly started to get my energy back!

Aliveinwanderland Thu 17-Nov-16 01:50:23

I feel the same tonight! DS has spent 2 days feeding every 30 minutes day and night. I'm completely exhausted and worried I'm no longer safe to look after him properly as I'm forgetting things, can't see properly and not functioning well.

I would really enjoy feeding him if it were every 2/3 hours, but I can't cope with the lack of sleep anymore.

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