At work today finishing up in one department before moving on to start helping out in another. A male colleague that I'm friendly with suddenly ran up behind me, grabbed onto my face and wiped the wet sleeves of his filthy outdoor work coat all over me. His department works outside so they have to wear waterproof high vis coats - they don't have their own individual coats, they get worn by any member of staff who needs them and pegged up in the warehouse when not being used. They don't get cleaned very often and frankly, they're disgusting. This member of staff knows that I have some issues with cleanliness and germs. It's not debilitating and I wouldn't have said it ever negatively impacts my day-to-day life, but it is 'obvious' enough for most people at work to recognise that I can be a bit particular at times.
Suffice to say that when this person, who I have always counted as a friend, grabbed my face this morning I felt myself panic quite a lot. I became quite tearful for a number of reasons - the thought of all the germs on my face, the thought of having 5 hours to go before I could get home and wash my face properly, the terror I felt at being grabbed and surprised (I was sexually assaulted as a teen and don't always do well with male contact, though obviously nobody at works knows about this), and feeling generally quite hurt that he'd done it knowing I have a few ...issues. My knee jerk reaction was to shout "What are you dong? Don't ever do that to me again!" quite loudly and also very forcefully. Totally out of character for me being the usually too nice wet blanket that I am. He was evidently taken aback by my reaction and tried to say that the coat was clean and that I should calm down, at which point I yelled that that was no excuse and he had no right to do that to me. He skulked off looking a bit bemused and I went to the toilets and burst into tears, feeling like my heart was actually going to come through my chest.
I spent the rest of the day with my makeup smeared, scratching at my face (which has cracked and bled in several places) and feeling very jumpy. As soon as I got myself cleaned up and calm enough I went to start helping out in the other department, at which point my manager, who I get on very well with, instantly asked me what was wrong. Said manager hired me several years ago and we have a good working relationship. He knows me better than anyone else at work and after some pressing, I explained what had happened. He became quite angry on my behalf, fully understanding how the situation would make me feel. He asked me if I wanted him to have words with the colleague, I said no and that I'd dealt with it. He told me to take 10 and go have a cup of tea, which I did, and then I powered on with work.
At the end of my shift as I was leaving the building, my colleague approached, got quite in my face and said "If you've got a fucking problem in future, come and speak to me about it. Don't get XXXXXX to do it for you and don't bother speaking to me again." 
I can only assume my manager felt strongly enough about the situation that he did in fact, go and have words with him. And now my colleague is upset with me. I couldn't help my reaction and I can't help how I feel. I wish I was the kind of person who could just laugh that off as a joke, but I can't. I don't find it funny. I think it's cruel to play practical jokes on people you know have certain limitations, and who will ultimately struggle with it afterwards. At the same time, I fully recognise that these are my limitations and I wonder if I've seriously messed up today? Was I wrong or unreasonable to call him on it and should I have just kept my mouth shut, both to him and to my manager? I didn't say anything with the aim of getting him into trouble
AIBU?
Crap day at work. Have I been stupid and cocked this right up?
VinoTime · 16/11/2016 22:01
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Sorry you've had such a bad day.
Wipey Guy can go jump. You did (quite rightly!) have a problem with what he did, and you did say something to him. So tough luck to him - he'll just have to get over having that bad decision.
I'd probably attempt to avoid him for the next couple of days, if possible. But just act polite & professional if you do see him.
Fuck your colleague. He is a nasty fucker. You need to tell your manager that he approached you like that. I know you don't want to cause a fuss but you really do I'm afraid.
it's ok to be angry about it. It was a horrible thing to do to someone and he doubled down on that by the way he reacted after your manager spoke to him.
I hope you're feeling better now.
Wow. I'd report him for the second thing as well. He is definately not a nice guy.
I'm really surprised that he did it. He's always been quite understanding with me in the past - kindly even. He has a habit of always offering people a mint or a sweetie whenever he's passing by, and when he worked out I wouldn't take any from an open packet that other people had taken from, he started carrying a small packet of individually wrapped sweets knowing I'd take one of those. It's utterly daft sounding I know, but that lovely little gesture is so at odds with what he did today. He's never touched me before and that really shook me up. He's a big guy and I felt myself shrinking back from him as I was leaving work
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