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AIBU?

To not really understand why some people are so upset by transwomen using public toilets?

1009 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/11/2016 18:44

I'm sorry if this offends, but I really don't understand why this is such a contentious topic. I know transwomen and they just want to pop into a cubicle, do their business and leave. I understand that there is a fear of being attacked, but I honestly think if someone is of a mind to do that they'll do it whether dressed as a woman or not.

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Soubriquet · 16/11/2016 18:46

Hmm

Really? After all the threads that have been made, after all the comments that have been said, why the hell do you think this is a good idea for a thread?

If a transwoman just wants to go into a cubicle and pee, they can do it in the men's.

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Atticmatic · 16/11/2016 18:46

Because they are not women.

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ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/11/2016 18:47

A penis doesn't belong in a woman's public loo.

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RichardBucket · 16/11/2016 18:48

Ask to have the thread pulled, OP.

Every thread on MN about transpeople descends very, very quickly into transphobia.

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/11/2016 18:48

Because I've read some of the threads and I still don't understand the apparent hysteria. I'd like it in words of one syllable. Maybe I'm in the minority but when I'm in a public loo I don't take too much notice of who else is in there, a transwoman could be next to me and I doubt I'd even notice. It would be far more intimidating for a transwoman to go into the men's loos.

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ThisPasadenaHomemaker · 16/11/2016 18:48

It's because they are not women and men with penises do not belong in a women and girls bathroom.

Hth.

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 16/11/2016 18:49

Do you know all transwomen?

I'm guessing not, in which case that's not at all relevant.

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KathArtic · 16/11/2016 18:49

A penis doesn't belong in a woman's public loo.

Absolutley! Especially when my kids are using the loos.

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slamdunkthefunk · 16/11/2016 18:50

It's not just about toilets. It's about refuges, prisons etc. Any female only spaces.
Non penis owners should be allowed to segregate themselves from penis owners if they feel the need to, especially for safety reasons. That's the crux of it.

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/11/2016 18:50

Of course I don't know all transwomen, what a ridiculous thing to say.

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MyGiddyUncle · 16/11/2016 18:50

they just want to pop into a cubicle, do their business and leave...I honestly think if someone is of a mind to do that they'll do it whether dressed as a woman or not

So basically, you're just happy for men and women to use the womens toilets? Does the same go for women using the mens?

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NoSunNoMoon · 16/11/2016 18:51

What's so hard to understand about no penises in women only spaces, OP?

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Toffeelatteplease · 16/11/2016 18:51

Im totally with you OP. But many on Mumsnet are not. I find it really selfish and short sighted personally. I fact I find l the whole anti trans phenomenon quite vile. But I don't often post onew threads because it tends to get very vicious and personal remarkably quickly.

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Bluntness100 · 16/11/2016 18:51

I'm clearly too new to have seen the other threads, but I certainly don't have an issue with it. A trans woman identifies as female, as such i expect her to use the female loos.

Who thinks a trans woman would attack other woman in the toilets, that's bonkers. And even if she does still have male genitalia, which lets face it uou won't know, it's not like your going to see it.

For me, no issues and I see it as the correct thing to do.

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BalthazarImpresario · 16/11/2016 18:51

I don't get it op but then I'm comfortable with mixed gender Loo's anyway.
How would you even know that there is a trans woman in there? You don't see the penis, what about post op?
Obviously all transwomen are also sexual predators is all I can think.

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Amandahugandkisses · 16/11/2016 18:53

Because it can make some women feel v uncomfortable and threatened to have someone with a penis in an intimate women's space. Women fought v hard for this.
And the needs of a TW don't just trump that reality.

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/11/2016 18:53

I personally think it would be a lot better if all toilets were unisex, women can use the men's if they want to but I personally wouldn't choose to because they usually stink.

I guess I don't understand why people are so worried about a penis being present? Are we assuming all transwomen are rapists? And before it's said, I've been raped....twice, but I'm still not bothered by the thought of a penis being in a toilet.

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SoupDragon · 16/11/2016 18:54

Especially when my kids are using the loos.

Why especially when your kids are using the toilets?

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/11/2016 18:55

That's what I'm trying to understand, WHY do some women feel threatened and uncomfortable...and as a PP said, we're all in cubicles, how would you know unless you demand everyone strip down before entering to prove they don't have penises.

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nancy75 · 16/11/2016 18:55

I don't care too much about toilets, but what about trans women taking part in women's sport? Trans women winning woman of the year? Trans women (complete with penis) being put into a women's prison?

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TallulahTheTiger · 16/11/2016 18:56

What a refreshing query to bring...... If by your logic no-one is threatening to anyone, why is the transwoman intimidated by using the men's loo?

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minionsrule · 16/11/2016 18:57

Where I work we have had a few transgender females, always used the Ladies, seriously never bothered me

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IAmAmy · 16/11/2016 18:57

I'm not comfortable with the notion of anyone with a penis in the same public toilets as me, but it's about more than that in my opinion and general access to women only space. It seems to me many now say anyone who "identifies as a woman" should be treated as a woman and so have access to all women's spaces and to oppose that is "transphobic". This is the line which most of the Feminist Society at my school push. I find this extremely worrying.

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reallyanotherone · 16/11/2016 18:57

Presumably the same reasons mums won't send their boys into male toilets or changing rooms without an adult.

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yorkshapudding · 16/11/2016 18:58

All those who are saying they feel threatened or offended by "someone with a penis" being in the womens toilet, does that mean you would be ok with post-operative trans women using the womens toilet?

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