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AIBU?

AIBU to be annoyed that my solicitor has issued my divorce papers with the wrong surname on, without checking with me first?

6 replies

TheRealBarenziah · 16/11/2016 16:48

First, the background: I am currently divorcing my STBXH on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour.

I didn't change my name on marriage. I kept my maiden name for almost everything, including my driving licence, passport, and work. I kept my name partially out of principle, and partially because I am already fairly well-known within my profession, under my maiden name. I don't want this to devolve into a bunfight about name changing on marriage - I respect people who choose to do it, but I chose not to, for my own valid reasons.

I have literally almost never used STBXH's surname. There is certainly no official ID of mine with his surname on it.

The divorce petition has been agreed by STBXH and his solicitor, and I've paid the court fee, so my petition has been sent off to court. Today I received an email from my solicitor's secretary informing me that she had changed the front sheet of the divorce petition to show me issuing the petition as ‘Firstname STBXH-Surname’ instead of ‘Firstname Mysurname’. She went on to say that, whilst I can call myself by whatever name I wish to be known as, the courts might ask whether there was a ‘change of name deed’ to show that I had changed my name back to ‘Mysurname’.

I was pretty angry about this - I never changed my name in the first place. My name is Firstname Mysurname and always has been - I don't need a 'change of name deed' because it's always been my name. I was really shocked by the assumption that I must have changed my surname on marriage (and that my use of Mysurname must be "changing back to" rather than what had always been my name), and the fact that she didn't even think to check with me before submitting a petition with the wrong surname on it to Court. I am also disappointed to learn that the Court would apparently assume that a woman always changes her name on marriage.

I emailed her back straight away explaining that I never changed my name in the first place, and that I don't need a change of name deed because I am and always have been Myname Surname, and she responded saying that she would change the petition back to Myname Surname at no extra cost. She didn't apologise for the misunderstanding, though.

I know that all's well that ends well, and I don't plan to complain any further, but AIBU to be angry and disappointed that my matrimonial solicitors assumed that I must have changed my name on marriage, and issued my divorce papers in the wrong name without checking with me first?! And, furthermore, that this is apparently so radical a concept that the Court might struggle to understand it?!

I do realise that, on marriage, a woman is entitled to use her husband's surname without changing her official ID, so legally I am entitled to be known as STBXH-Surname, but the point is that I'm not.

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maxfielder20 · 16/11/2016 16:53

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MLGs · 16/11/2016 16:53

Yanbu. Can't imagine what they were thinking. They should at least have checked with you first!

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TheRealBarenziah · 16/11/2016 16:54

I have spoken to them - see my OP Smile It's all sorted now, I just thought it was depressing that they made so many assumptions, in this day and age.

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MyWineTime · 16/11/2016 17:40

I doubt the court would say such a thing. She said that to cover her own mistake. It's an irritating mistake that has been sorted. No big drama.

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Squirmy65ghyg · 16/11/2016 18:02

She made a mistake. That's all.

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lalalalyra · 16/11/2016 18:07

Big of her to fix her own mistake at "no extra cost".

No way she should be changing anything and then sending them to the court without checking surely?

Not unreasonable imo.

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