To think the headteacher has screwed me over?!

(106 Posts)
PriscillatheKing Wed 16-Nov-16 13:07:00

I reported something going on in DDs class. Nothing major but not something small and silly.

Head spoke to the children and called the parents in and she told them it was me who reported it?!

Why would she do that? Surely she could have just said "we've had a report?!"

It's gone down like a lead balloon at school.

ChampsMum Wed 16-Nov-16 13:09:44

Yes she certainly has, I am also here thinking why she would tell everyone that you made the report, she didn't have to do that, it's wrong in so many ways.

PriscillatheKing Wed 16-Nov-16 13:14:33

She actually told the children it was me, not the parents. Kids obviously told their parents.

Dreading school pick up sad

Jackiebrambles Wed 16-Nov-16 13:16:16

Are you sure she has done this? Seems really unprofessional to mention names. Can you call to confirm??

TheInternetIsForPorn Wed 16-Nov-16 13:16:22

It's all in how you deal with it now. Head high. You said something out of concern not anything else. Anyone says anything then own it with confidence.

Then tell the head that she should not have told everyone who reported and you find that inappropriate.

Good luck.

RaspberryOverloadTheFirst Wed 16-Nov-16 13:16:44

There was no need to say who had reported, and I'd complain in writing and copy to chair of governors.

Bluntness100 Wed 16-Nov-16 13:17:05

Eek, what was it you reported?

annielouise Wed 16-Nov-16 13:18:17

Have you been complaining about other stuff before so that she sees you as a pain in the arse (whether warranted or not)?

In my experience, this is one of the things in the arsenal of HT's and teachers to get back at parents. I emphasis in my experience, not all are like that, but I've come across very unprofessional behaviour just because I had to step up a complaint. Very tedious and so obvious. Petty to get the kids involved. Unless she was just being stupid, which you also don't want in a HT. You'd think something like that would be ingrained in them so you can only think it deliberate.

PriscillatheKing Wed 16-Nov-16 13:19:57

There is no confusion. I emailed her and asked her not to bring my name into it and she emailed back and said the children already knew. But that she hoped I wouldn't hesitate to contact her again with any future concerns.

DD was also involved in the issue (not going to say what it was as it has no bearing) and incalled to say "this is going on, I've spoken to DD can you make sure the teacher is aware"

harderandharder2breathe Wed 16-Nov-16 13:22:34

Are you sure she meant the children already knew your name? Not that they already knew about the issue?

LIZS Wed 16-Nov-16 13:23:54

Might Dd have told others?

PriscillatheKing Wed 16-Nov-16 13:24:27

Her exact words were "the children are aware that you are concerned about xyz"

DD also confirmed that she told them x's mummy is worried about this

Jackiebrambles Wed 16-Nov-16 13:27:08

If you were/are worried about it enough to get the HT involved then I think you just have to hold your head high. Will the other parents even know? It sounds like its just been discussed with the children.

Chippednailvarnishing Wed 16-Nov-16 13:27:34

I'm not sure why you care TBH. Unless you have unfairly accused the entire class of picking on your DD, I can't see what the fuss is.

Cloeycat Wed 16-Nov-16 13:27:59

I remember as a child my mum talked to the year head as she was concerned we weren't getting any homework. Year Head told the class 'Cloeycats mum is concerned you are not getting enough homework so from now on you'll be getting extra'.

I can't understand why some school staff members feel the need to do this. I was mortified at the time but it blew over really quickly and everyone will be on to the next thing.

CoolCarrie Wed 16-Nov-16 13:30:27

Very un professional behaviour from the Head, I would be fuming if I was you. She is clearly an idiot who 'can't hold her water' as my dm says, and you should complain to her and about her to the governors.

PriscillatheKing Wed 16-Nov-16 13:31:52

Why would I care? Because I don't come from an area where grassing on anyone is a good idea? Because telling it was me achieves nothing?

sirfredfredgeorge Wed 16-Nov-16 13:35:47

It depends what it was - if it was genuinely small and silly and the children are older than five or so, then the only way to handle it withthe kids could be "Priscilla doesn't like you doing X, it's perfectly reasonable but she doesn't like it, so be nice to her and keep it under your hats". That response needs the kids to know it's you.

If it was something different, then maybe different. If you needed it to be private, then you needed to say it up front.

NonFatTofuttiRiceDreamsicle Wed 16-Nov-16 13:38:20

I would be upset about that too op, it's really unprofessional of the ht.

APlaceOnTheCouch Wed 16-Nov-16 13:39:32

Perhaps she was trying to direct attention away from your DD. So the comment was emphasising 'MiniPriscilla's mum raised this issue' - subtext being 'It wasn't MiniPriscilla' so don't blame her confused
HT still shouldn't have done it but I find schools are very gossipy places so it's common for everyone to know who is complaining about what, and you should probably bear that in mind when raising issues.

HallowedMimic Wed 16-Nov-16 13:39:35

If it was something like 'Ms Priscilla yells me you've all been stealing reading books/hiding sweets in your desks/poking the hamster with sticks'. it would seem reasonable to use your name.

It demonstrates that a responsible adult noticed their bad behaviour, and won't tolerate it.

And it avoids the kids scapegoating someone.

ChampsMum Wed 16-Nov-16 13:39:42

Head spoke to the children and called the parents in and she told them it was me who reported it?!

Sorry I thought you meant she told the parents too, how do you know for sure that the children have told their parents?

I'm really interested to know what was said, but you're not willing to disclose it.

Chippednailvarnishing Wed 16-Nov-16 13:40:38

Grassing? You're a parent it's your job to "grass" on kids if there's a problem.
As someone said up thread, if it's so important to keep private, you should have said so.

SemiNormal Wed 16-Nov-16 13:41:40

I don't really see that what was said matters? Surely the head teacher has no business discussing private conversations between themselves and a parent with the children?
OP are there repurcussions that could arise from this other than feeling perhaps a bit awkward at pickup?

Arfarfanarf Wed 16-Nov-16 13:42:00

If it's something you're concerned about what makes you think the other parents wouldnt agree with you that it's a concern?
Are they all shit parents or something?
Surely if it worried you it would worry them not anger them.

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