...to request priority seat on private hire bus while pregnant?

[naranciata]

My workplace is a fair distance from town and puts on shuttle buses to the town centre. They are normal buses hired from a local bus company with bells; route displays; priority seats etc. The buses at 1600, 1630 and 1700 are normally standing room only and this afternoon when I was able to get out of work there was a big queue already. But the time I got on the bus there were about 12 people standing. I'm 19 wks pregnant and feeling really tired and gross. I edged to the priority seats area and asked the two men sitting there if I could sit down. They looked me up and down and asked why (I don't have a v obvious bump yet, especially not through coat etc) so I explained about pregnancy and tiredness and indicated priority seats (which have a logo of a pregnant woman and a wheelchair user). One of the men said that because the bus is on private hire to my workplace, the seating is all the same and just first come first served and priority seating is not observed. The other man said he'd also heard that and told me that I should have arrived earlier!

At this point a woman sitting in the row behind gave her seat up for me (where I am currently sitting) so I didn't have to get the bus driver involved but I can't believe they were in the right! WIBU?

[AgathaMystery]

Bloody hell. What's wrong with people?! I'd understand if their need was greater than yours but that's not what happened. You were brave to ask for a seat TBH. Many won't.

[hellsbellsmelons]

What a lovely pair of gentlemen they were!
Blimey.
Some men are so feckin' entitled it's unbelievable.
Well done to the woman who gave up her seat.
I would check with HR and get a letter you can show to people in future when you need priority seating.
Cocks!!!

[lionsleepstonight]

What a pair of charmers. Regardless of it being a private hire, they really were rude. I don't think you AIBU. I would be mortified if that was my son.

[LittleSausageFingers]

YWNBU! How rude of those men! Unbelievable. Regardless of private hire or not, it's good manners to give up your seat to someone with greater need. Complete dicks!

[trixymalixy]

YANBU. I would contact HR and ask them to send out a general email regarding the priority seating and common courtesy.

[PeachBellini123]

Agree with Trixy - contact HR.

These men sound horrible. I hope their wives, mums, sisters etc are never treated how they treated you.

[sparechange]

What charmers!
I'd speak to your HR department. If the company is organised and helpful enough to lay on shuttle buses, I would hope they are also organised and helpful enough to either give you a letter to show any idiots or better still, a letter to stick to the wall/bus stop pointing out that the priority seats still apply to those who need them

I wonder if being a work bus, the usual obligation to make reasonable adjustments for you would still apply and therefore they have to give you a letter or make a sign...

[BratFarrarsPony]

Really what a pair of cunts...
Contact HR about it.

[FabulouslyGlamourousFerret]

Sorry to go against the grain but I don't think that feeling 'grotty and tired' at 19weeks pregnant entitles you to a priority seat any more than a man feeling 'tired and grotty' with a cold, bug, sore throat, piles! etc. I think at 30 weeks plus when your centre of gravity is all to kilter then maybe you would have a point. Of course it would have been nice for the blokes to have given you their seats but it's not the end of the world.

[sparechange]

Fabulously,
A) the charming men said the priority seats don't apply at all. So they won't necessarily be any more obliging when OP is 38 weeks than they were today
B) some women feel absolutely horrendously tired at 19 weeks!

[AllTheBabies]

fabulously personally I have always felt fine at 19 weeks but that doesn't mean everyone does. Some people might be anaemic, have hyperemesis, varicose veins, really the list of reasons someone might feel crappy at 19 weeks is endless.

[harderandharder2breathe]

Yanbu it's just good manners which they seem to need reminding of

To make like easier, can you make any adjustments like time you finish so you're first on the bus? Remember that other people likely also feel "tired and grotty" for numerous reasons

[Solina]

I would go to HR because basically they were saying that if someone disabled got on they wouldnt have to give up a seat for them either... what a pair of idiots.

[Hellmouth]

*Fabulously

Have you ever been pregnant? Or maybe your 1st and 2nd trimesters were a dream?

I felt worse during my 1st and 2nd trimesters than I did during my 3rd. I was lucky that I live in outer London and could get a baby on board badge, and that most of the people I encountered were not dicks.

Also, standing when feeling bad cos raise the changes of overheating, which is bad for mum and baby. It happened to me twice before I got my badge.

OP is not BU to ask for a seat.

[amammabear]

What ignorant terrors! I would go to hr, that it's clear discrimination!

[amammabear]

Lol! Terrors was not the word I used... Mumsnet obviously "corrected" me...

[BratFarrarsPony]

just imagine them congratulating each other afterwards...'yeh that told her, didnt it, silly cow' etc
Disgusting people.

[CesareBorgiasUnicornMask]

Fabulously Last time I was nineteen weeks pregnant, I would have vomited over everyone in my immediate vicinity if I'd had to stand on a bus journey. I could only manage any form of transport by sitting down, closing my eyes and concentrating on my breathing to control the nausea.

By 38 weeks on the other hand, I felt much better and didn't even bother trying to sit down in the tube if it was fairly full.

Feeling grim in pregnancy is definitely not a linear experience.

[MadameCholetsDirtySecret]

wild animals look after pregnant members of their species. Obviously these two bastards are less evolved than that.

[FabulouslyGlamourousFerret]

Yep, I have been pregnant - a few times I did feel a little grotty and tired at 19weeks but no more than I do today, full of cold and snot. Everyone is different though, I work in a very male environment and didn't want fuss or exemptions.

I hope you feel better OP this evening.

[QuackDuckQuack]

I'm amazed that they were willing to be arses on a work bus. It's not like a normal bus with anonymity. They were basically at work and being a twat at work has risks.

I'd go to HR.

[Littleoakhorn]

If priority seating doesn't apply on private buses then the sign wouldn't be there. Next time get the driver involved. What a pair of arseholes.

[Trifleorbust]

Definitely arseholes. I would contact HR.

[SparklyLeprechaun]

Who cares if they were in the right or not, a person who needed the seat more than them asked for it and those poor excuses for human beings refused. Arseholes.

[CashelGirl]

I (in my head about an hour later) would have very loudly shamed them. Rude fuckers.