For every parent and child there comes a moment when...

(46 Posts)
user1477282676 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:11:11

The parent picks up the child for the very last time...never to carry them again.

shock

Someone on another forum said this and I was horrified! I must be over emotional today or something but it really bugged me!

ThomasRichard Tue 15-Nov-16 14:15:16

It sounds quite sad but there are lots of 'lasts' as a child grows - last breastfeed, last carry, last reading book, last parents' evening - that go hand in hand with 'firsts', e.g first solids, first steps, first writing, first job, that are really exciting. And no one ever gets too old for a hug with their mum smile

ShelaghTurner Tue 15-Nov-16 14:27:35

I read this and pick up my 8yo every so often! It's not easy... grin

mommybunny Tue 15-Nov-16 14:28:13

Yes, but how often do you realise it's going to be your "last" time? I can't remember the last time I picked up 11yo DS, and he's too heavy for me to lift him now, but I pick up (much smaller at the same age) 9yo DD all the time.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 15-Nov-16 14:29:14

I saw that a couple of months ago and made a point of picking up my 12 year old DS. Jesus Christ On A Bike did that hurt!

user1477282676 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:30:02

Mommy well you don't...that's the whole thing! But now I know this I think I will!

My 12 year old sometimes asks me to pick her up (she's tiny) and I'm very fit so I do...it's more of an amusing feat for us than anything but still...I can't do it forever can I!?

One day I'll be too crooked and she'll be over the height for it!

YellowCrocus Tue 15-Nov-16 14:30:19

Logically speaking this has to be true. I don't pick up DS (12) anymore, I wouldn't get him off the ground. So there must have been a last time!

Alwayschanging1 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:31:03

On the eve of my DDs 18th I picked her up (ouch!), read her a bedtime story, tucked her in and was generally very silly about all this stuff. gringringrin

BathshebaDarkstone Tue 15-Nov-16 14:37:52

I picked up DD 9 for the last time just before Christmas last year. When I got a horrendous fluey cold I used that as an excuse not to carry her to bed, and she hasn't asked since. She's quite big for her age, so I'm relieved!

tinytemper66 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:39:52

I just had a 'first'....first drive in the car with son after he passed his test! I was so scared! Think it was not being in control. He was careful and speed aware but still......

JinkxMonsoon Tue 15-Nov-16 14:40:57

I hate that sentimental bullshit, it's only designed to make you feel depressed and guilty, surely?

corythatwas Tue 15-Nov-16 14:42:06

Sadly, the moment didn't come for me (disability reasons) until my back was knackered and I had laid the foundations for a prolapse. If someone had come up to me when dd was 10 and told me that this is the last time I would have wept for joy.

HarryPottersMagicWand Tue 15-Nov-16 14:42:21

I sometimes pick my 5 year old up, because I still can. I do my heavy 8 year old because I won't be able to for much longer but it's a bloody struggle. I'll be sad when I can't. I very occasionally give him a piggy back. I make him sit on my lap for a cuddle while he still will too. I noticed there are quite a few parents who drop their kids off at school from the car and don't hug or kiss them. I think that's sad. The deputy head commented once how nice it was that my 8 year old still hugs me before he goes into school. No idea how much longer it will last!

TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing Tue 15-Nov-16 14:45:51

Oh this is from one of those horrid martyr memes.

Mothers of the world, never lift your child without being utterly appreciative because it could be the last time. Never take a single second for granted, never mind the fact that you're trying to get ready for work, make packed lunches and hang a washing up before you leave the house and your 7 year old wants carried down the stairs than for no other reason than they can't be arsed walking.

I seriously hate that stuff.

SuperRainbows Tue 15-Nov-16 14:47:47

I don't think it's bullshit and there's nothing wrong with being sentimental and it doesn't make me feel depressed or guilty.
I'm reading Matilda to my dd 9 every night and she announced last night that this is the last book I will be reading to her! I can feel sad about the end of an era and proud of my confident dd at the same time.

amicissimma Tue 15-Nov-16 14:53:17

It goes full circle: my DS now occasionally picks me up and gives me a hug.

TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing Tue 15-Nov-16 14:53:53

Of course you can. I just dislike the motherhood guilt-trip crap that continually does the rounds on social media. Who can honestly be constantly on alert for last hand-holds or goodnight kisses? And I don't often see men being guilt-tripped in this way either.

5moreminutes Tue 15-Nov-16 14:54:21

You think this, and then your 40kg child breaks their ankle a long way from a paved road ...

But yes, there is a last time for things of course, and you don't realise it was the last until later... Then sometimes it wasn't the last after all grin

Griffey Tue 15-Nov-16 14:54:51

I regularly grab my grown up sons for a cuddle. Even though they are both over six feet and my short arse frame means they have to stoop. But hey they never tell me "to get off them". Happy Days.

KatharinaRosalie Tue 15-Nov-16 14:54:53

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

CigarsofthePharoahs Tue 15-Nov-16 14:56:03

I can remember ds2's last breast feed. Little git bit me!
Ds1 is 5 and I can "carry" him all of about two feet before bits of me are in agony. Ds2 is only 2 1/2 so I suspect a lot more carrying will happen but every night I do hope it will be the last time he wakes in the early hours and needs cuddling back off in our bed.
I'm looking forwards to the last nappy change too, but as yet he is not interested.

OlennasWimple Tue 15-Nov-16 14:56:53

I get picked up by DS now, rather than the other way round... But he's not too big for cuddles (and never will be smile)

cookieswirls Tue 15-Nov-16 14:57:13

Kath that made me well up

5moreminutes Tue 15-Nov-16 14:57:19

I wouldn't carry a bigger child down the stairs though - sounds bloody dangerous for both of you and anyone else in the vacinity!

GloriousSlug Tue 15-Nov-16 14:57:38

I think I'm with Wrath on this one.

Although I do acknowledge there is an element of sadness associated with your children growing up and becoming independent, I try and focus more on my role in guiding my children to become competent and confident functioning adults.

I do get it though, my eldest has recently decided he does not want me to read him a bedtime story any more and I did feel a tinge of sadness.

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