My ex stole our Son's trampoline

(158 Posts)

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user1479216930 Tue 15-Nov-16 13:55:25

I am currently on income support but I'm a qualified teacher (hoping to get a job soon and have interviews lined up). As I'm sure you can imagine we are pretty poor at the moment.
Once bills are paid there's nothing left over. I left my Sons Dad about a year ago. He was training to be a teacher too but dropped out and left his job as the deputy manager of a special needs residential home. He is not entitled to job seekers allowance as he left his job so his financially comfortable parents are funding him at the moment. Because he technically has no income he has no duty to give me any maintenance. He has never paid maintenance as he has been unemployed since our split.

Now I have nothing. No valuables. When he left he took his tv,iPad,sound bar, PlayStation as he had bought them. I have an iPhone 5 and a £200 laptop and that is it. I need the laptop for job hunting and if it broke I would not be able to replace it.

He has our Son three days of the week so the lack of
Maintenance doesn't bother me, it's pretty much joint custody.

I recently went to visit my parents who are ill and I have come back to find my Sons trampoline has been taken. I found out my ex has gone into my garden while I was away, dismantled it and sold it for £200 On ebay.

It was bought by him just over a year and a half go, for our Sons birthday present. My Son loves his trampoline, was always on it and he came running into the garden to go on it, only to find it gone. I also have my Nephew over every Saturday. He has autism and a learning disability and spends hours on the trampoline, he loves it and it was a very important activity for him.

Since my ex has proof Of purchase he had the right to sell it but how mean is that? I've spoken to him about it and he says he needed the money, it's not essential for our Son to have it, and he bought it so whether I think it's mean or not means nothing to him. He bought it, he's entitled to sell it.

He could have at least left £100 For Another cheaper one. My Son doesn't need one as expensive as that one was but for my ex to just take his child's favourite toy and not replace it with anything at all. I just think it's so mean and disgusting to be honest. I'd rather he had taken my laptop. He isn't that desperate for money. His parents give him enough to live on and pay his rent. He smoked 20 Cigs a day and drinks a bottle of wine a night. He is getting job seekers from next month and has a job interview lined up for next week. He's not Literally starving.

Anyway I'm rambling now, I'm just devastated. My Son has very few toys, I have nothing, that trampoline was the only luxury we had and my Son
Loved it. He doesn't understand where it's gone. Aibu to think my ex is really really mean to do that?

I don't know whether to tell his parents about it as they will probably be mad at him and would buy a new one.

I'm going to have to sell my laptop now to buy a new one. AIBU to think this is just terrible behaviour on his part and really,really mean?

TheProblemOfSusan Tue 15-Nov-16 13:59:23

It's appalling behaviour. Tell his parents what he's done, and DO NOT sell your laptop - it's practically impossible to live modern life, get a job, etc. without one, and that's more important to your son's wellbeing than the trampoline.

Hopefully your son's grandparents will buy a new one for their grandchild, though I wouldn't be surprised if they kept it at their house to prevent further selling off of a small boy's assets.

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 15-Nov-16 14:01:01

That is the lowest of the low!! I would call the police. I know he has the receipt but it was your sons, he still stole it, a receipt proves purchase not ownership surely?

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 15-Nov-16 14:02:00

What way does the house work? Surely he can be done for trespassing, breaking & entering or something? Anything? prick!

Trifleorbust Tue 15-Nov-16 14:02:52

God, that's awful 😫

Unfortunately there isn't anything you can do about it as you know. But what a scumbag!

Gingernaut Tue 15-Nov-16 14:02:56

My late dad was Irish and had a word for that kind of behaviour.

Cuntish.

That's appalling, effectively stealing from children.

No help to you OP but you're not being unreasonable being furious with the cuntish git.

Thanks Dad. Great word. grin

Sorry OP. ((((Hugs))))

user1479216930 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:04:17

Just realised I've put stole in my title which I didn't mean to put. I don't consider he stole the trampoline as he did buy it. But it is a gift and my best friend is a lawyer and said if you buy something as a gift it's illegal to take it back. So technically he did.

He would never ever take it if he hadn't bought it. He's very careful not to do anything he considers illegal as he is hoping to get a job as a manager of a care home (God help us) so would never risk a criminal record.

And I know my post is identifying but I don't care.

MrsRhettButler Tue 15-Nov-16 14:04:43

I'd tell his parents and the police, not sure if the police would do anything, I don't know the law but surely it belonged to your son as it was a gift?
So sad for him I'd be fuming.
Please tell his parents

StStrattersOfMN Tue 15-Nov-16 14:04:50

Ok, well you have a little breathing space as it's winter, tell your son it's away until spring. That gives you time to tackle your charming ex.

And I'm green with envy that he got £200, we only got £60 for our massive top of the range one. envy

sassolino Tue 15-Nov-16 14:06:36

Your ex is a piece of shit. To do that to his own child is unpardonable. Petty and immature. You don't sell gifts you gave someone else, it is immoral.

user1479216930 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:07:32

Technically I think it might be stealing but I very very much doubt the police would even consider looking into it.

Nothing I can do about it but he relies on his parents for money so I might tell them and see what they do.

I want to tell them it's gone but I feel like I would be begging for a new one or they would feel very pressurised to get a new one.

I have my nephew every Saturday, he spends hours on the trampoline. I don't even know what I would do with him for those hours without it.

ChasedByBees Tue 15-Nov-16 14:07:33

He did steal it. And yes, I'd tell his parents and I'd tell him he has 7 days to return / replace or I'd go to the police. If he cares about his criminal record it might shake him up a bit. Do not sell your laptop, you need that.

HardcoreLadyType Tue 15-Nov-16 14:07:58

The trampoline was given as a gift to your son, and belongs to him.

If you want to get another trampoline for your son, contacting your ex's parents may be the most expedient route. Obviously you would need to deal with any fallout from that, though. You are best placed to know what his reaction would be to you doing that. Equally, they may buy one for use at their house, which doesn't help you.

MrsRhettButler Tue 15-Nov-16 14:08:01

How old is your son? I'd be inclined to tell him exactly where it went.

MrsRhettButler Tue 15-Nov-16 14:09:06

Don't cover for his cuntish behaviour. (Thanks Gingernauts dad)

user1479216930 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:11:06

He did very well to get £200 for it. Can't remember what he paid but I don't think it was much more than that. Maybe £350. It's a really good one with the cover enclosed and curved safety net. It's also huge. It doesn't need to be that much, I would have been happy with a simple one.

He used to go on it every day except when It was pouring with rain.

Gingernaut Tue 15-Nov-16 14:11:22

MrsRhettButler grin

MistyMinge Tue 15-Nov-16 14:11:52

What an absolute arsehole!! I'd be making his parents aware. I could understand if he was on his absolute uppers but from what you've said, he's not. People never fail to surprise me. I hope he redeems himself once he's working and buys your son a new one. Sadly I don't think there's anything you can do.

Bluntness100 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:12:21

Don't sell your lap top, you need a job. And you need a job to provide for your family,

Stealing the trampoline is beyond shitty. Tell his parents, but in a way that you explain uour son devastated that his dad took the trampoline and can't understand it.

I'd also tell uour son his dad has his trampoline. Let the gutless shit deal with the fall out.

user1479216930 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:13:11

His grandparents don't have a garden so if they bought one it would be for my house. my ex has no garden either.

user1479216930 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:14:06

My son is 4.

BathshebaDarkstone Tue 15-Nov-16 14:14:40

He did steal it. If something is given as a gift it belongs to the recipient.

user1479216930 Tue 15-Nov-16 14:15:35

I'm not telling his parents to be nasty or spiteful. Only because I know they would probably buy another one. They would just tell him off for it but wouldn't disown him or anything. He wouldn't care if I told them, he feels he's done nothing wrong at all.

toptoe Tue 15-Nov-16 14:15:51

He has stolen it. From your son. What a prick.

Don't sell your laptop - you need it. Can you get some legal advice?

MrsRhettButler Tue 15-Nov-16 14:16:53

Ahh he's so little, too young to find out daddy's a dickhead sad
I'd be reluctant to upset him with the truth at that age I think.

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