To think this teacher is spiteful

(45 Posts)
sergeantmajor Mon 14-Nov-16 19:54:27

My dd is in Y3 and very well behaved, pretty angelic really. She has the same teacher that my rather cheeky older ds had had previously. He was miserable in her class as she took against him and singled him out for punishments (lots of other parents told me their kids were upset about how unfair this was for him).
I was worried about dd having this problematic teacher but I made it a clean slate in my mind and she's had a great start to the year. Until now.
DD is starting to get strict punishments for next to nothing. Knowing my dd, the slightest reprimand will send her into submissive tears, so the punishments are hardly necessary. Then she told me that the teacher said even though she had praised her at the parents evening, she now thought that she was wrong about her.
That's just plain spiteful, isn't it?
I wish I had spoken up to the headteacher when my ds suffered with this teacher, but I always had a slight doubt that ds was capable of being a bit of a handful. With my dd, I know that she is a quiet gentle soul and I am furious that this teacher is making her miserable for no reason.
AIBU?

oggieoggie Mon 14-Nov-16 20:19:52

I'm sorry your DC is suffering I would be having words.
Teachers are people and people in general are very capable of being mean and spiteful.
I have known some teachers do bully sadflowers

Trifleorbust Mon 14-Nov-16 20:24:03

You are very vague about what the punishments are for. Why is she being punished?

BakeOffBiscuits Mon 14-Nov-16 20:24:16

I would ask for a meeting to discuss what your dd has said.

I'd ask her what she means by "I got it wrong on parents evening" I'd also tell her that your dd is unhappy in her class.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 14-Nov-16 20:26:02

Strict punishments?! confused

Stitchintimesaves9 Mon 14-Nov-16 20:27:27

YANBU. I would be upset and angry. Can you face going in and having a conversation with this teacher to try and sort this out? Need to have some specific examples of instances where your DD has received overly harsh punishment as well as her remarks about 'having changed her mind'. If you're not happy with her responses then you can take it further

Sorry your DD is unhappy

DanicaJones Mon 14-Nov-16 20:27:41

What are the strict punishments and what are they for?

BratFarrarsPony Mon 14-Nov-16 20:28:15

what kind of 'strict punishments' are we talking about?

Some teachers can be downright nasty there is no doubt about it, but you have to be sure and get ur facts right.

Oblomov16 Mon 14-Nov-16 20:29:44

You need to give us more details for us to make a reasoned response.

luckylavender Mon 14-Nov-16 20:32:38

I think you need to be absolutely sure of your facts.

Bluntness100 Mon 14-Nov-16 20:34:46

I agree, what are the punishments and what are they for please?

Allthebestnamesareused Mon 14-Nov-16 20:36:00

I would ask to speak to her and make it clear that although they are both your children they are entirely different people with entirely different personalities; that you understand that DS could be a handful but please understand that DD is not and is quite sensitive. I am sure she must have misunderstood when you told her you gave me the wrong information at parents evening otherwise no doubt you'd have been in touch.

AtSea1979 Mon 14-Nov-16 20:38:32

Can't really comment as don't know what the pumishments are or what for. But who did she say that too?

Hereforthebeer Mon 14-Nov-16 20:46:05

What are you going to do about it? Speak to the teacher or head?

SaltyBitch Mon 14-Nov-16 20:51:52

Need more info I'm afraid.

Bluntness100 Mon 14-Nov-16 20:54:47

I would add, But sometimes we think we know our kids,,,,but you'd be surprised.

The other key point, other than what she did and what the punishment was, is the punishments the same across the whole class?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 14-Nov-16 20:56:09

YNBU. Very unprofessional and spiteful behavior. Yes teachers are human and they're not going to like every child. However those children and their parents should never know who they are.
I'd speak to the HT.

Trifleorbust Mon 14-Nov-16 20:57:21

The OP implies that her child should not need to be punished because any telling off will cause her to break down into tears - possibly the teacher is simply aware of the need for consistency and isn't prepared to exempt a child from a consequence because she cries. I know I wouldn't. Other children would then have something to complain about!

SorryNotSorry Mon 14-Nov-16 20:59:08

Speak to her and find out what is going on. If she is repeatedly having to sanction your child it should be in her incident book.
Ask her if you can see the entries about your daughter.

KoalaDownUnder Mon 14-Nov-16 21:00:59

Also interested to hear about the punishments and what they're for.

Impossible to know, otherwise.

user1470997562 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:02:33

I think you need to establish exactly what she was being punished for and what the punishment was. Then you can go in and say if you think it was excessive. You need specific examples I think.

pipsqueak25 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:04:31

please come back op so we can help you.

youarenotkiddingme Mon 14-Nov-16 21:17:22

I'd go and see the teacher tomorrow and ask her simply what she meant when she said to DD she'd been wrong about her. Ask her what is going on.
Either she'll come out with explanations of what DD has done, say DD is over reacting (you admit yourself she cries easily at being told off - i was the same!) or she'll say something else.

Then you'll know what to do next.

It maybe possible she's being unfair - humans can be or that DD thinks she's in massive trouble when she's not - easy reaction for a child who gets upset at ounishment.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Mon 14-Nov-16 21:22:54

If your DD is indeed being punished having done nothing wrong, then you do need to pursue it with the school.

But you don't tell us what the punishments are for.

As a teacher, I try to award sanctions consistently, unless there is SEN or specific pastoral issues to be taken into account. So your DD's tendency to dissolve into tears wouldn't mean that I would treate her more leniently or not give her punishments that I would give to other children for the same offence (see previous disclaimer re. SEN or pastoral issues, but you don't mention any).

Scaredycat3000 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:43:31

I worked as support in a couple of very different schools. I met some of the nicest most wonderful people and was proud to work for some of them. I met some of the most horrible people I have ever met, some were later convicted of many unpleasant things and even more banned from teaching for life. And then there was those in between. They are human. So yes you have a spiteful teacher.
As a parent my son was being bullied by his teacher in yr2. Sit down and write down every incident you can remember right from the beginning with your DS. Write down how many parents told you their child was upset at your sons treatment, every single one. If you feel you can, ask if any of these parents are prepared to repeat/confirm their stories to the Head Teacher. If nobody says yes it doesn't matter, you can still repeat their stories and concerns, on there own they are still powerful. Compile an e-mail to the Head teacher explaining your concerns,, be truthful about both your DCs behaviour and that you wish you had brought this up sooner. Ask for a meeting. Nothing probably can be officially done, but the HT should discuss the accusations to the teacher and will show them that their behavior is unacceptable and there Boss, the Head teacher is aware and watching. It also leaves a record for any future problems even to help other peoples DC in the future. If you are not happy with the result tell the HT you will be going to the Governors. I was happy that the HT took me very seriously, HT's don't like that other parents are telling you the things they did, and was happy to leave it with her.

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