to be panicked about having second child?(5 Posts)
I've just found out I'm around 5 weeks pregnant with number 2. This was planned and not a surprise apart from it having taken so long. Our DD is 9.
Is it normal to be feeling suddenly panicky? I am worrying about how we'll afford it, how we'll cope, how DD will react (she's not expressed any desire to have a sibling). I'm worried about baby being born in mid-July making him/her youngest in the year, I'm worried because I know DH would really like a boy, I'm worried about getting fat, I'm worried about my career...
I have waves of complete excitement and have a pinterest board and a spreadsheet on the go - I just can't shift the sudden on-set panic!
Please tell me this is normal, or that AIBVU and need to get a grip!?
I think its normal.
Im pregnant with DC 2 following 2 rounds of clomid and some days I feel more anxious than nervous - but I have anxiety anyway.
Its a big unknown - loads of people have told me '2 is more than double the work' and I feel overwhelmed by the drudgery of housework, cleaning up after a toddler etc as it is.
If your sick & miserable in the 1st trimester like me then that doesn't help.
I think it's normal. We'd planned to have two with a small gap when we got married. When DD was 16m we started ttc again got pg almost immediately then cried for weeks with guilt about my DD.
I think it's because you've done it before, you know what to expect and and how hard and tiring it is. When you're pg with your first you have no idea.
I found this when I was pregnant with DD2 (not sure who wrote it), it summarised that guilt that I was ruining first child's life - but it is a good thing, congratulations!
I walk along holding your little hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me." And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him--as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times---only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how she adores you--as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you--only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you---you each have your own supply.
I love you---both. And I thank you both for blessing my life
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