Is this a valid reason to take DD's out of school for the rest of this week (Scotland)?

(29 Posts)
iveburntthetoast Mon 07-Nov-16 16:53:55

I will try to keep this brief....
FIL has a lot of health problems, especially with his heart (he is 70). Over the weekend, he started to struggle to move around, very breathless, dizzy. Today MIL called the doctor, who said he is very seriously ill and needs to be in hospital urgently for treatment. FIL became aggressive and refused to go so they performed an assessment under the MH Act. He has been sectioned, and the last thing we heard, the police were at the house to take him away.

They live 300 miles away in the middle of countryside, miles from the nearest town. Only FIL can drive, MIL is very frail herself and needs help, and BIL lives with them who has learning difficulties. DH really needs to be down there to look after them all. I dread to think how upset MIL is at seeing all this--FIL was apparently very aggressive towards her. In addition to neeeding treatment, the doctor said he was too aggressive to allow him to stay at home. (This is not normal behaviour for FIL) sad

I work full-time. DH is a SAHD so we don't have any out-of-school childcare and no friends who could help out. I can't take time off work and I would also struggle to take care of the DD's on my own (I'm disabled.)

The only thing we can think of doing is to take the DD's out of school and DH will take them to stay with my parents for the rest of the week. (My parents only live 10 miles away from PIL). We wouldn't keep them out of school for any longer than the next 4 days.

Is this a reasonable situation to take DC's out of school? We're in Scotland so I think things are a bit different legally than in England. I just can't see any other way around this.

CocoaX Mon 07-Nov-16 16:56:16

Can your parents, or one of them, travel to stay with you, whilst DH is away?

tellyjots Mon 07-Nov-16 16:56:34

Of course. It's not as though you are taking the piss- you have sound medical grounds.

Have you phoned the school to discuss? Sure they will be understanding.

Sorry your family is going through this flowers

Dieu Mon 07-Nov-16 16:57:59

Aye, fine I'd say. I'm in Scotland too, and the number of people who've recently taken their kids out of school for holidays! Go for it.

mintthins Mon 07-Nov-16 16:58:11

I'm quite sure the school will understand.

SirChenjin Mon 07-Nov-16 16:58:26

Could your parents could come and stay or is there an after school club you could use? If not then yes, absolutely reasonable

RB68 Mon 07-Nov-16 16:59:29

I would look at the option of your parents staying with you and taking over DH's role if possible. Otherwise I would go ahead its an urgent situation

TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing Mon 07-Nov-16 16:59:45

I'm in Scotland and our teachers have been nothing but lovely about taking the kids out of school for various things. Sounds like the best solution all round.

celtiethree Mon 07-Nov-16 17:02:13

Unless your DC are in the middle of their Nat 5 or Higher courses just take them out. Just email the school and let them know what you are doing. Most people I know have taken their DC out at various points from P1 to S3 mainly to go on a holiday term time, your reason is much more valid.

MrsJayy Mon 07-Nov-16 17:03:11

If you have no other option take her out its family circumstance

CrystalQueen Mon 07-Nov-16 17:04:08

My DD's school was fine with her missing a week of school when my husband (her dad) was in hospital - she went to stay with my parents which made one less thing for me to worry about (I'm in Scotland).

AllTheBabies Mon 07-Nov-16 17:05:15

I'm in Scotland and I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. People taking their kids out for holidays and such is totally normal here. In fact one of my dd's friends has just begun a 3 week holiday.

It sounds like a very stressful and hard situation. All the best to your family.

iveburntthetoast Mon 07-Nov-16 17:09:44

Many thanks for your replies. My DSis queried whether this was 'allowed' so I panicked a bit.

They are in P2 and P5. They've only had a handful of days off school when they've been poorly so far.

My Mum is fit and healthy, and well enough to look after the DD's (and my DSis is down there at the moment to help), but my Dad isn't in great health and couldn't make the long journey up here.

I will certainly ring the school and explain. Do you think it's OK to explain to the office, or should I speak separately to their teachers? This has all happened since about 2.30pm so I will ring in the morning.

TeenAndTween Mon 07-Nov-16 17:20:46

Speaking to the office is fine if your mum coming down to you isn't an option. You don't need to speak to the teachers.
But
If the situation continues past the weekend they can't be out of school indefinitely so you do need to be considering a Plan B.

happypoobum Mon 07-Nov-16 17:21:00

It would be far better if your parents could stay at yours wouldn't it?

iveburntthetoast Mon 07-Nov-16 17:21:38

confused so he's not been taken away to hospital. He's still at home. The last thing DH knew, he spoke to the police at the house who said they were taking him to hospital. We don't really understand what's happening.

DH is still planning on going down in case things get worse again. I hate living so far away from our parents.

iveburntthetoast Mon 07-Nov-16 17:25:02

@happy, it's a very hard journey for my parents (and especially my Dad) to make. They're both 75. My Dsis is down there at the moment to help.

I'm going out now, but thanks for the replies.

Sgtmajormummy Mon 07-Nov-16 17:33:59

My parents had a similar experience. It was harrowing to say the least for everyone involved and definitely an adults only time. If it's anything like my DF's sectioning for dementia, Alzheimer's and uncharacteristic violence, you and DH are going to need a lot of mental strength in the next few days or even weeks. flowers

I'd say the other grandparents' is the best place for your children.

AcrossthePond55 Mon 07-Nov-16 17:34:59

Could Dsis stay on to help with your dad and DM comes up to stay with you? Or vice versa? I know it's probably a big 'ask' of your Dsis, but I'd ask mine and I'd try to help her if I could. (I realize that Dsis may have family needs of her own)

Would a reputable nanny service be out of the budget for before and after school? Might the children's school have referrals to give you? I'm sure this situation comes up more than we realize.

shinynewusername Mon 07-Nov-16 17:35:02

(NB the info below applies to the England & Wales MHA, but I don't think the Scottish processes are different)

How stressful for you.

The police are probably waiting for an Approved Clinician or Approved Mental Health Practitioner to assess your DFil before taking him to a psychiatric hospital under section 135 of the Mental Health Act. His GP may have requested the assessment and the police, but only a handful of GPs are Approved Clinicians as it is usually a specialist role. Strictly speaking, the police don't have to wait till he is seen by an AC or AMHP, but it is normal practice to do so unless someone is in immediate danger.

Hopefully the AC or AMHP will turn up soon and your FIL can start getting some proper care in a hospital. Rest assured that the police will be chasing to get the AC/AMHP there.

LockedOutOfMN Mon 07-Nov-16 17:38:50

Children can miss school for illness or emergencies. I would say that this situation constitutes an emergency.

Sorry to hear about the situation, OP, good luck with it all.

JustCallMeKate Mon 07-Nov-16 17:44:28

It can be put down as urgent domestic distress (or something like that). I wouldn't worry too much about school, it's an emergency situation and if you feel you have to go then go.

itsmine Mon 07-Nov-16 17:47:03

'Could Dsis stay on to help with your dad and DM comes up to stay with you? Or vice versa?'

This ^ would seem a good idea. I wouldn't take dc out of school. Also you say you can't take time off but what about discretionary carers leave? Have you asked your manager?

We have frail elderly rels, I frequently need hospital treatment but between favours from friends and relatives we managed not to take the dc out of school. You say you have no friends to ask, what about other parents from school? I always found other mums were happy to have the dc in an emergency.

PrimalLass Mon 07-Nov-16 20:58:21

School won't mind. Go for it.

PrimalLass Mon 07-Nov-16 21:00:11

I would just email the office and that would be that.

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