Staying with mil

(137 Posts)
ManInYourClothes Sat 05-Nov-16 10:40:54

We have agreed with mil that whilst renovating our new house we (dh, myself and dd) will stay with her until early Feb.

She has today sent a list of 'rules' proposing the rent to be 500pcm (we are in a small double with dd). We are not allowed to use the cooker or washing machine but the microwave is free for our use hmm. We must first knock before entering the lounge after 6pm and our showers must be taken before 8am or after 7pm (no baths).

I spoke to her last week about the two single beds currently in the room she wants us in (the smallest of 4 doubles she lives in a 5 bed house). I asked if we could bring our own bed or at least the mattress to put on top, answer was no they will have to be pushed together.. no other reason given.

I have said to dh that I dont think I can live like that and want to find an alternative. He reckons this is all normal and everyone has ground rules. What do you all think?

civilfawlty Sat 05-Nov-16 10:42:24

She is clearly bonkers. It will cause irreparable damage to your relationship. You should DEFINITELY find somewhere else.

Melstarrynight Sat 05-Nov-16 10:43:31

I also think she's bonkers. Did your Dh have to live like that when he lived at home?

Mouthfulofquiz Sat 05-Nov-16 10:43:39

Yes, I agree with the poster above. Definitely find your own place. You are basically paying that money to sit in a small room.

PotteringAlong Sat 05-Nov-16 10:44:05

No, go. elsewhere.

A travelodge would only be just over £600 a month if you can do the £29 a night and sounds like you'd get exactly the same.

Or I would look for holiday lets near you.

pinkyredrose Sat 05-Nov-16 10:44:21

Sounds like she doesn't really want you to stay! I'd definitely find somewhere else.

Ginmakesitallok Sat 05-Nov-16 10:44:34

Find somewhere else - I'd rather stay in the house being renovated.

fairgame84 Sat 05-Nov-16 10:44:35

That's not normal.
You're her family not unrelated lodgers!
For that amount of rent in would want full use of the house. In fact you can rent a flat or house for that much. Would that be an option?

Liiinoo Sat 05-Nov-16 10:45:04

I wouldn't inflict those rules on a lodger let alone family members. Find somewhere else.

NavyandWhite Sat 05-Nov-16 10:45:05

Really? Why would she treat her son like that? And you and her GD of course.

Rent somewhere else?

aprilanne Sat 05-Nov-16 10:45:58

this is a great idea if you looking for a divorce ..who would charge there child 500 pound then say dont use the cooker and you can only shower .let him go to his mother but if i were you i would not .

Ginmakesitallok Sat 05-Nov-16 10:46:14

Have you asked her why you can't use the washing machine or cooker? Thats bizarre.

Cherrysoup Sat 05-Nov-16 10:46:26

Sorry, she sounds batshit and knocking on the lounge after 6pm?! Why is she giving you the smallest room and can't you have two rooms for you, DC and your stuff? I think I'd rather live in one room in my own house than have those bizarre rules! It will drive you mad and I don't care what your DH says, it's not normal to impose those rules.

Ruhrpott Sat 05-Nov-16 10:47:18

I would not do it and would find somewhere else to rent like a holiday cottage or even go to the local Pontins/Butlins where you would get fed too for less than that! Or buy a cheap caravan and stick it on your drive/in the garden.

OnlyEatsToast Sat 05-Nov-16 10:48:55

Don't even consider it! She's batshit

DeathStare Sat 05-Nov-16 10:50:50

That's nuts. All of it is nuts.

Why would she even want you to live like that? What skin off her nose is it if you sleep in a double bed, have a shower or use the cooker? How are you expected to live any sort of a normal family life like that?

Is there any chance she doesn't really want you there and is trying to put you off without having to say no?

Find somewhere else.

Bagina Sat 05-Nov-16 10:50:58

Obviously you can't stay there. Is she normally like this?

ImperialBlether Sat 05-Nov-16 10:51:13

Is anyone else thinking of the thread where the OP wanted to charge £500 pm for her son and DIL? Other POV here, I wonder?!

Fortitudine Sat 05-Nov-16 10:51:25

I don't think you'll have much of a marriage left by February if you agree to this.

Cheerybigbottom Sat 05-Nov-16 10:51:27

Another vote for batshit crazy. My friend rented a house for 2 months while her house was being fixed up after fire damage and I think that's what you should look to do.

alltouchedout Sat 05-Nov-16 10:53:22

I rent my whole house for 500pcm and there are no restrictions on lounge entering and appliance use. Tell your dh it's not happening (does your mil even want it to happen?) and do not give in.

BowiesJumper Sat 05-Nov-16 10:53:33

This is crazy! Helllll no.

TaliDiNozzo Sat 05-Nov-16 10:54:55

Inperial - that was my immediate thought when I read the OP. Probably an almighty coincidence but does sound familiar!

OP, clearly this is not an arrangement you can put up with. Someone will end up killing another member of the household if you have to live like this.

FlapsTie Sat 05-Nov-16 10:55:11

No way.

MothershipG Sat 05-Nov-16 10:55:35

Look on airbnb, it's off season and you may be able to find somewhere that wouldn't cost much more.

What price your sanity? grin

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