Confused about attitudes to prams on buses

(325 Posts)
5FeetOfWater Sat 05-Nov-16 09:44:25

I know this can be a sensitive topic but I'd like some honest opinions.

I get the bus twice a day with 15-month-old. I usually park buggy in the space where the fold-down seats are (not the wheelchair space opposite, I know wheelchair users have priority and if I used this space I'd always give it up if someone needed it).

There are often 2 or 3 prams on the bus, sometimes 4. And almost every day I hear people complaining 'in my day we used to walk from - to - with the prams' (approx 45-min walk) 'look at all those prams, we never took our prams on the bus' 'why don't they fold their prams' etc.
I could understand this attitude if bus was crowded but it's generally half empty so the prams aren't in the way.
Yet people still sit on the fold-down seats when they can see prams are getting on. Yesterday I politely said
'Excuse me please, I need to put my buggy here' (at least 8 other seats free)
Lady moved to a seat 1m away with much muttering and glaring.

I always give up my seat if needed and avoid the priority seats as I'm aware people with walking aids and shopping trolleys need the extra space. But on some buses the fold-up seats have a sign above saying 'please give up this space to parents with prams and pushchairs'. There are 4 priority seats behind this area with space for walking aids.

I know I could fold, but it's safer to have DD strapped in. She's only just walking and I'd struggle to hold her and carry folded pushchair and nursery bags/shopping/my work bags. I often see mums with a toddler and a baby in pram really struggling to fit pram it because no-one wants to move.

AIBU??

Artandco Sat 05-Nov-16 09:50:04

Well if you know you use a bus twice a day then yes I would have a small folding pram like babyzen yoyo and your stuff in a rucksack so hands free or would not take a pram and use a sling on back for child.

we live in London, buses in rush hour would never fit a pram on even though there is a space. Just used a sling or walked them on. ( have two with 15month gap)

Mumzypopz Sat 05-Nov-16 09:53:33

This is why prams/buggies used to be smaller and more easy to fold...you used to take baby out and fold pushchair whilst waiting for the bus, then you used to put it in suitcase rack and sit anywhere. These days pushchairs are like tanks. I don't agree with this, but I have heard people say it brings a feeling that people with tanks feel 'entitled' to more space on buses than everyone else.

teenyrabbit Sat 05-Nov-16 09:55:35

YANBU.

The pushchair spaces on busses are there so you DONT have to faff about folding your pram up with a tiny baby in your arms and your shopping or whatever else.

If there's space for a pushchair then why the hell do you need to fold it down?

The only people who are entitled are those that sit in the pushchair area with no bloody pushchair!

teenyrabbit Sat 05-Nov-16 09:56:41

And op hasn't even said what pram she's got so I'm not sure why you're jumping on her for having a massive pram?!

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Sat 05-Nov-16 09:57:49

If there is a space and you need it - use it. It's what it is for. Who cares what other people think.

Mumzypopz Sat 05-Nov-16 09:58:03

Except it isn't always a dedicated pushchair space and what if three pushchairs get on the bus, some has got to concede and fold it down.

MargoChanning Sat 05-Nov-16 09:58:21

I would just smile sweetly and thank them for moving and then not give those miserable sods a second thought.

Alternatively, say 'well i guess back in your day there were less buses due to the Blitzu' & then smile sweetly.

Oldbutstillgotit Sat 05-Nov-16 09:58:43

OP you sound very considerate but on my bus route there are frequent arguments about buggies and folding/ not folding . A few weeks ago 2 young Mums refused to fold down buggies to allow a man in a wheelchair on the bus.

Mumzypopz Sat 05-Nov-16 10:00:43

And if you read my post properly you will see I didnt say she herself has a massive pram particularly, was talking generally.

Artandco Sat 05-Nov-16 10:01:41

I just think it's mad to assume you will have space. Don't go on a bus with too many bags to handle with child and buggy, get one rucksack or larger bag to put all on one space. If there's space for two prams and your on third, you would have to fold anyway, so surely easier to go on expecting to? And if the seats fold, they could be being used by elderly if other seats full.

Mumzypopz Sat 05-Nov-16 10:02:40

Sometimes I've seen disabled people struggling to get off the bus at their stop because of buggies blocking the front.....

Oysterbabe Sat 05-Nov-16 10:04:32

I get the bus all the time with the pram and have never encountered this problem.

soundsystem Sat 05-Nov-16 10:04:48

I'm with you, OP, I don't get the negativity. I understand the spaces are for wheelchair users and they have priority. But when the space isn't needed then it's there to be used by buggies! If I folded mine I'd take up more space as I'd have the folded buggy, plus shopping and then I'd need a seat to put DD on my knee as she's too small to stand.

Artandco Sat 05-Nov-16 10:12:24

SOund - do not think you have a pram maybe that's too big for a bus if it takes up just as much space folded? Loss of small prams now available, see daily on buses in London, they fit by persons feet whilst they are sitting with child on their lap. So take up no space extra

Bubblegum18 Sat 05-Nov-16 10:13:55

I agree if they aren't getting used by a wheelchair then they should be used but I've struggled with a baby folding a pram when someone with a toddler in a pram getting in and out could of easily folded it and hold onto their bigger child. People unfortunately don't use common sense and will watch someone with a smal baby struggle. I rarely get the bus tbh because I can't be bothered with the politics of it all.

RiverTam Sat 05-Nov-16 10:16:23

Some people simply don't seem to like seeing mothers out and about with their children, able to do a lot of things that they couldn't in their day because the facilities weren't there. Better mums are stuck at home going slowly loopy like they did, eh?

YANBU. You used the correct space and there was plenty of room.

AndNowItsSeven Sat 05-Nov-16 10:18:07

Its fine to use the spaces op as long as you are to prepared to fold/get off if a person using a wheelchair gets on.

eyebrowsonfleek Sat 05-Nov-16 10:18:18

Maybe you need a retort about their children going to uni for free while yours will have student akin akin to a small mortgage?

Realistically though, it wasn't long ago that children weren't allowed to sit on a bus if adults were standing so it seems crazy that it's no longer the case and in places like London, they travel free. It also seems crazy that buggies can cost the same as a first car.
Some people are dicks and give off vibes that the youth should be respectful to the older generation but not vice versa. My kids are way past the buggy stage but I think that modern children are negatively judged by some people. I have a teen whose only crime is his age and he says that people have actively complained and asked groups of his friends to move when they are hanging out and not being antisocial. The police allow the groups of mums with big buggies drinking takeaway coffee and the handful of Jehovah Witnesses (?) shouting fatalistic statements about the end of the world.
I've seen bus drivers turn down people with buggies if there are already 2 onboard and I guess that's fair. I have wondered why more seats aren't foldable so more buggies/wheelchairs can be accomodated.

SpotTheDuck Sat 05-Nov-16 10:20:24

All the comments about just folding the pram annoy me a bit.

I have a toddler, who's not safe to stand on the bus - he'll sit happily in the buggy but will fight to get off my lap, scream etc if I take him out. I'm pregnant so really need to sit down myself. I can't drive or walk far due to disability, so I have to use the bus and I have to have shopping etc in the basket of the buggy (and no I couldn't carry it all in a backpack). Also the buses drive off so quickly that I rarely have time to get the brake on the buggy and myself in a seat safely before we're moving, so there's no chance I could fold buggy, deal with shopping and toddler etc without asking the driver to wait until I was done which delays everybody!

I'm sure life is nice for those of you who just pop the baby in a sling or carry groceries in backpacks, but can we please have some recognition that it's just not practical for everybody to do the same? That's been recognised by bus companies and that's why there are priority spaces for buggies!

MadameSilva Sat 05-Nov-16 10:22:56

I don't drive so when pregnant was intending on catching the bus a lot so bought a bugaboo bee. However, when I had my dd I found it too stressful on the bus as I'd often wait ages for a bus but then when it arrived I couldn't get on because there were 3 other pushchairs already on. The Bee isn't the easiest to fold up and lift onto the luggage rack especially holding a newborn. Tbh I'd get quite annoyed when dd was a newborn and I couldn't get on because a toddler was sitting in a stroller that could have been folded.

My back is terrible so using a sling was difficult for me. In the end I use to walk the 45 minutes to our nearest town and back again. On the plus side I lost a lot of weight.

Dd is 16 months now and won't stay in the pushchair for the journey to town any longer so I have had to start catching the bus. I bought a stroller just for this so I can fold it up without having to worry about getting on/bring in the way. Dd is happy in her own seat. The annoying thing though is that the luggage rack isn't big enough for the stroller so I have to slot it in next to me.

Pisssssedofff Sat 05-Nov-16 10:22:58

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Artandco Sat 05-Nov-16 10:27:25

SPot - so surely you see my point. Everyone shouldn't be waiting for bus then getting on and folding. They should be folding pram outside, holding baby, so they are ready. Surely as someone with a disability you get pissed off if two people with no disability are blocking you using the bus? If everyone in general folded beforehand or used sling, then it would leave those space for those parents who genuinely can't carry child for whatever reason. Those are the minority rather than majority.

hotdiggedy Sat 05-Nov-16 10:27:28

Totally agree with you. I used to absolutely hate getting on a bus with a pushchair (and I went out of my way to find the lightest, easiest to fold one I could). The stress of the older buses where you used to have steps to get up and then random poles blocking the way was awful on top of the fact that you may have 10 seconds to fold it and carry and wriggling child on with other bags too was horrible. Sometimes I used to just walk but I would end up worn out by the end of it. Also, you have the problem of not being able to get on a bus due to other pushchairs already being on and then sometimes drivers deciding to stop and let people off in random places like right up next to parked cars so you cant get the pushchair out anyway or not lowering the bus so you have a big drop to try and get the pushchair down to ground level. I really don't miss those days at all!

No idea why people are funny about it. We cant all afford to drive and back in the day maybe they didn't all have to rush off to jobs so they didn't need to use public transport every day with their pushchairs and prams.

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Sat 05-Nov-16 10:28:57

Are you sure those fold down seats aren't included in the priority seating? I'm fairly certain they are here.

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