Really offended by this comment, AIBU?

(114 Posts)
tiredmum81 Fri 04-Nov-16 17:55:02

I was collecting ds1 from school today, having a nice chat with a woman I know who is a child minder. She was telling me about the kids she is currently looking after. Then she says " you have my worst nightmare though, 2 boys! 1 is OK, but not 2!". I told my husband and he laughed, but I felt really upset to hear my children described as a nightmare. I mean, they can be at times, when they are noisy and driving me bonkers, but not because of their gender! Aibu to feel upset that people look at my children and judge them harshly because they are boys?

Pettywoman Fri 04-Nov-16 17:58:01

She is a knob. I have two gorgeous boys.

HuskyLover1 Fri 04-Nov-16 17:58:19

I don't think she meant your boys, rather just 2 boys in general. I was really shocked when I babysat 2 boys. They fought the whole time, like really whacking one another. I wasn't used to that at all, as I have a boy and girl (now grown up).

Floggingmolly Fri 04-Nov-16 17:59:09

"People" don't. One halfwit person did.

gratefully Fri 04-Nov-16 18:00:19

What are you on about?

She wasn't referring to your sons.

Bizarre

goose1964 Fri 04-Nov-16 18:00:59

Apparently there are people known as SMOGs smug mum's of girls, who think boys are icky.

Tallzara Fri 04-Nov-16 18:01:22

It sounds like a really silly comment. I have two boys, I'd struggle to be offended by that because it makes no sense really.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 04-Nov-16 18:01:25

I teach. The boys are indeed, generally, a lot harder to look after than the girls, at toddler age. Not all of them, obviously, but generally. I don't think it's anything to take offence from.

ZaraW Fri 04-Nov-16 18:01:42

Yes YABU she made a comment that was not directed at your children. I doubt anyone would judge your children harshly simply because they were boys.

Scrumptiousbears Fri 04-Nov-16 18:01:47

She was talking in general and not personally about your boys. Stop being so sensitive.

DianaMitford Fri 04-Nov-16 18:03:56

She didn't mean your sons. She meant two boys would be her personal nightmare to look after. You sound faintly ridiculous.

HicDraconis Fri 04-Nov-16 18:04:24

I have two boys. I don't know about "boys in general" but my two don't fight in the way Husky describes. Yes they bicker, but no full on whacking.

I do have a friend who has two girls and says they're constantly fighting, scratching / pulling hair / kicking - but I wouldn't assume that's "girls in general", I'd assume that's her two.

I love my two boys. They were awesome small people and they are growing into really cool older children.

PoliticalBiscuit Fri 04-Nov-16 18:05:02

Yabu, I have 2 boys. They are hard work! Not saying 2 girls aren't either, don't take it personally flowers

Frusso Fri 04-Nov-16 18:05:12

She didn't say your boys were a nightmare
She said (to quote you) "you have my worst nightmare though, two boys" - as in her having 2 boys. She wasn't referring to your boys in anyway other than the sex of them.

Is there a reason why you are sensitive about having 2 boys?

baconandeggies Fri 04-Nov-16 18:05:31

she was judging herself, not your life.

AppleAndBlackberry Fri 04-Nov-16 18:05:37

I have two very active, high energy, challenging girls. It always annoys me hearing things like this, it's like saying "well your experience can't possibly be as hard as mine because you have girls". Probably annoys Mums of calmer boys equally.

rainyinnovember Fri 04-Nov-16 18:06:05

It's a shitty comment. YANBU.

rainyinnovember Fri 04-Nov-16 18:06:41

Frusso really, it's her worst nightmare having two sons and the OP shouldn't be remotely put out confused

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 04-Nov-16 18:07:01

Give over, in the nicest possible way.

I have three boys [all young adults now] and I've rarely been the recipient of negativity regarding their gender that I read about on here.

puddingisgood Fri 04-Nov-16 18:08:46

It's not a nice comment from a childminder though. Does she really treat all her mindees equally when she has this opinion of boys?

RainyDaisy Fri 04-Nov-16 18:09:36

You're right OP. She was being a twat.

Imagine if you'd said "you're a childminder?? Oh my god, that would be my worst nightmare!"

It's just rude

WorraLiberty Fri 04-Nov-16 18:11:06

YABU and I say that as a mother of 3 sons.

She was describing her personal 'nightmare'. She wasn't judging your sons at all.

My 'nightmare' would be twins or triplets. Mind you, I wouldn't be rude enough to say that to the parents of either.

Tallzara Fri 04-Nov-16 18:11:59

She was probably only joking. Boys have a reputation for being boisterous. Of course all children are different.

People just make silly comments sometimes about things.

TiredAndDeadly Fri 04-Nov-16 18:12:23

Well she'd love me!!

I have 3 boys!!

Thunderblunder Fri 04-Nov-16 18:13:11

I have 3 girls and 2 boys. Some people say 3 girls would be their worst nightmare and some people say 2 boys would be their worst nightmare. Then there are the people who say 5 children in total would be their worst nightmare.
Trust me, it doesn't matter what combination you have because there will always be someone who is negative about it.

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