AIBU to hate strangers around DD

(163 Posts)
Islacornx Fri 04-Nov-16 14:22:31

My DD is 6 months now and from day 1 I have hated the constant strangers coming up to my DD in her pram on walks/shops etc..
I don't mind people smiling or saying hello. It's when I literally have to stop what I'm doing while they try and have a conversation with my baby for ten minutes. Yes I know people like babies and they are cute but I'd rather they admired from afar rather than made me stop for so long. I always find it quite awkward and don't know what to do with myself as it's not me they are actually interacting with at all. And don't get me started on if they try and hold her hands and touch her face angry angry
AIBU?

LittleBearPad Fri 04-Nov-16 14:25:04

What on earth makes you stop what you're doing for 10 minutes. You sound a bit unreasonable tbh.

AmeliaJack Fri 04-Nov-16 14:25:04

You need to be a bit more assertive. There is no need to talk to a stranger for 10 minutes about your baby.

Practice some phrases "it was nice to speak to you but we must get on"

It's lovely when people admire your baby. But you aren't beholden to them, you can smile politely and walk on.

A1Sharon Fri 04-Nov-16 14:26:02

I genuinely find posts like this so sad. That someone wants to admire and perhaps have a wee chat (I seriously doubt it is 10 mins each time!) about your new little one.
Some people are lonely, for some they miss those days, for some they just enjoy a yak.
It just sounds like nowadays no one has any time for any one anymore. They won't bother soon as she will be older, just unclench and join in with them!
YABU.

SauvignonBlanche Fri 04-Nov-16 14:26:36

Yes, YABU.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Fri 04-Nov-16 14:30:54

Strangers constantly spend 10 minutes talking to your baby and ignoring you? Really? confused

I always loved strangers stopping me for a minute or 2 with my dc, I thought my dc were the most gorgeous things in the world and reveled in it while it lasted, which isn't for long. Give it 6 months and nobody will give a hoot anymore.

Mishegoss Fri 04-Nov-16 14:34:36

Genuinely 10 minutes? That's a long time.
Sometimes people just like to be friendly. We have a lot of elderly people around here who talk to my kids in shops. It's nice.

BertrandRussell Fri 04-Nov-16 14:36:20

Yes. You are being unreasonable.

And if they keep you hanging around just say "Oh well, must be off or I'll be late"

OffBeatOyster Fri 04-Nov-16 14:44:57

YABU

Honestly, give it a few months and nobody will be interested in her!

This stage passes far too quickly

Islacornx Fri 04-Nov-16 14:54:35

Thanks everyone
Sorry I was exaggerating when I said ten minutes although it does sometimes feel like that sad
Suppose I'll just have to lump it until she's older x

Matchstickbox Fri 04-Nov-16 14:56:56

You might miss it when she's older.
Also people complain about how unfriendly the world is, so isn't it nice when people want to pass time of day with you?

OhHaaaaay Fri 04-Nov-16 15:00:44

biscuit

NicknameUsed Fri 04-Nov-16 15:02:46

When DD was tiny it tended to be very old people who would make a fuss of her. They got so much pleasure out of seeing a tiny baby, and I was pleased that they would talk to me. They were probably very lonely and their daily trip to the Co-op might have been the only time they interacted with other people.

So I think you are a little BU.

Batteriesallgone Fri 04-Nov-16 15:03:30

Practice saying oh sorry in a rush today and walking on if it bothers you.

If you want to engage do, if you don't, don't, but don't engage and then complain. Other people aren't mind readers.

AmeliaJack Fri 04-Nov-16 15:10:28

Isla you don't have to lump it if you don't like it!

I have twins and when they were tiny it was sometimes genuinely difficult to get round the supermarket for people wanting to chat about the babies.

Which was lovely but sometimes you really just need to dash round and get home for the next feed or whatever.

Stop and chat if you have time, always be polite and kind but if you are uncomfortable with what is happening or need to be somewhere else it's fine to say so.

BratFarrarsPony Fri 04-Nov-16 15:15:25

here is a really good passive aggressive phrase loved by my stepmother..

"I'll let you get on"

DixieWishbone Fri 04-Nov-16 15:18:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuseumOfCurry Fri 04-Nov-16 15:20:58

It goes fast and relatively few people will take an interest in her as she becomes a toddler. Then you'll be mooning over other people's babies and they'll be starting threads about how annoying you are.

I'll never understand why anyone could be annoyed by someone admiring their baby. Surely if you're in a hurry you do as you would with any other pleasantry - 'that's so kind of you to say hello to her, but I'm late for an appointment! nice chatting with you!' and you're off.

elQuintoConyo Fri 04-Nov-16 15:21:15

Mine is 5yo. People still stop and coo.

<smug>

YABU

NavyandWhite Fri 04-Nov-16 15:21:16

These type of threads always annoy and sadden me. Maybe these people are just lonely? Needing to speak to a human face and coo over a lovely baby?

Don't be too eager to push people away. There but for the grace of god and all that.

Summerwood1 Fri 04-Nov-16 15:25:30

It's sad that you feel this way. It won't last much longer, as she gets older.

gammatron Fri 04-Nov-16 15:27:14

I hate it when people try to touch my baby! Why do they think it's acceptable to touch a strangers baby?! I don't know how clean their hands are! Gah, this annoys me so much!

Pineappletastic Fri 04-Nov-16 15:31:22

Pretty sure I must radiate evil vibes - my baby is 7 weeks and hardly anyone cares.

On the other hand, our dog is like a celebrity, every time I pop in a shop I come out to find my husband surrounded by dog-admirers.

If I do have to extricate myself I find 'oops, I think we need a nappy change' or 'sorry, my parking is about to run out' both work quite well.

(Do hate people kissing my baby though, bleugh!)

GipsyDanger Fri 04-Nov-16 15:36:30

I thought I would be the kind of mother that snaps the arm off anyone who dared to touch my baby 😂 But I'm very surprisingly chilled about it. It did irk me when ds was really young, but now I find it really endearing when old ladies come up and ruffle his hair (8months) he's a really nosy smiley baby and loves the attention.

CarrieLouise25 Fri 04-Nov-16 15:40:52

I think it's acceptable for people to:

Look at baby
Maybe ask how old etc
Say bye

I do not think it's acceptable to:

Touch and hold babies hands
Stroke head/cheek
Get right up close and start talking to the baby
Give them food

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. Some people over step boundaries (as they do when you're pregnant too).

Your baby though, so it's up to you what you find comfortable, and if you don't it's not right/wrong (same for others who don't mind it).

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