I know this is a bit silly, but I need some advice. My fiancée and I are trying to conceive, but we aren't telling parents as we are young and they will disapprove, especially mine. My fiancées parents will take it a lot better than mine will. Every time I speak to my mum on the phone she asks if I'm using protection and yesterday she kept going on about it, saying "we don't want to get pregnant now do we", as if this is her decision as well. She always says if I do get pregnant she will "March me down to the abortion clinic", which isn't her choice either. She's also quite rude, whenever she sees me she tells me I've put on weight and constantly asks what I've been eating. She calls me hopeless a lot, not realising how hurtful it is. I feel as though I cannot tell her a lot of things I'm going through as she either says something hurtful or doesn't care. I suffer from depression and quite a few times she has told me "you're not really depressed". I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and she doesn't even believe that. I feel like she has no right to tell me to use condoms, I live with my fiancée and haven't lived at home for a while. I told her I had come off the depo and said I was going on the pill (which I'm not as we're trying for a baby), and she keeps asking if I've gone to the doctors yet, telling me I need to go on the pill NOW. I'm sick of the way she talks to me and tries to control me. My dilemma is that when I get pregnant and tell her about it, if she says anything about an abortion or anything like that, that I will cut her out of my life. Every time I speak to her I get upset. If by some miracle she accepts me being pregnant (when I get pregnant) I don't know if I can let my child see their grandmother knowing she didn't even want me to have them in the first place. Am I being unreasonable for considering not talking to her again?
AIBU?
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She calls me hopeless a lot, not realising how hurtful it is. I feel as though I cannot tell her a lot of things I'm going through as she either says something hurtful or doesn't care.
She sounds mean OP 
YANBU to consider not talking to her again as it's your choice, BUT I would consider other things first, like just generally keeping your distance, not telling her things etc.
With regards to the pregnancy talk, I think you have to be firmer:
"I'm an adult, that's not your decision"
"that's between me and my fiancée"
"I'm not discussing birth control with you"
"I will NOT be having an abortion and that is not your decision to make, you need to stop saying it"
And when you get pregnant and tell her (I'd certainly wait a while and tell her later on)
"I don't want to hear anything negative about this, this is something we want and have planned for, if you can't be happy for us then you need to keep that to yourself"
Oh, and I should say, when I was mid 20's (and married) my mum was always telling me not to get pregnant. It did come from a caring place but I still found it pretty irritating 
I agree with PP that it sounds like there are lots of issues getting intertwined. Your mum should not be saying you are 'hopeless' or putting you down, that sounds very hurtful.
You say you have depression. Have you had any treatment for that? I am just wondering if you are seeing a counselor maybe they could help you talking g through your experience with your mum.
It is hard to tell whether your mum just wants the best for you and thinks threatening to 'march you to the abortion clinic' will out you off TTC or if she would follow through and try to trample over your wishes when you do become pregnant.
It might be worth thinking about what do you have control over and what you don't? You can't change your mum's personality but you can change your reaction to her comments. That might mean calling her on her rudeness in a calm and mature way - show her that you are grown up and also the you expect respect. It might mean not telling her as much detail about your life. It might mean taking a break from her or going completely non contact.
for you and take your time. You don't need to plan right now whether you will stop speaking to her over her potential reaction to you getting pregnant.
First I am so so sorry about your miscarriage Bunny at any age that is awful news and very un mn but hugs to. I was 31 when I lost my twins and it's coming up on their 3rd anniversary and it's still raw despite since being blessed with another daughter.
Second it is up to no one but you and your fiancé if you are trying again, but the stress she is adding combined with your depression isn't good for you so if you feel sting enough to tell her to butt out don't feel guilty about doing so, if you don't want to do that I would not share any personal information with her, sometimes bright and breezy can be the way to go...
Mum: we don't want to get pregnant do we?
You: oh no I can see you wouldn't want another child now mum. Anyway must go I'm just taking something out of the oven, byeeee.
Meanwhile be kind to yourself and good luck ttc
Stop collecting the £30 a month if indeed you don't need it. What on earth is it for? If you do need it then I can sort of see where she's coming from, probably she's worried about how you'll support a baby. Otherwise the when's and how you have a baby are nothing to do with her. All grandparents need to know is, 'there's a baby on the way' 
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