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AIBU?

Don't want my 8yo to have a games console

68 replies

octopusrus · 03/11/2016 21:30

AIBU?

DS will be 8 in Dec.

I'm pretty anti video games but DH would love to buy a console for his bday (he hasn't asked for one).

I feel he's too young and I want to hold off as long as possible but AIBU and is it inevitable at some point anyway?

Help please, causing a lot of arguments at home.

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Eolian · 03/11/2016 21:33

YABU. As long as the games he plays are age-appropriate and he's not glued to it constantly, I don't see any problem with a games console. Do you think there is something inherently wrong with video games?

Wrinklytights · 03/11/2016 21:34

He's not too young IMO but have no idea why your DH wants to buy him something so expensive that he hasn't asked for?

bumsexatthebingo · 03/11/2016 21:36

I see no harm so long as he's not on.it for extended periods. Its no worse than TV, Ipads etc. Do you think he would like one? If not then get dh to get one for himself.and stop trying to pass it off as a gift for.his son.

octopusrus · 03/11/2016 21:36

I'm not sure what I think. I think it might be a bit of an in-bred 'video games are wrong' mentality which I'm not even sure where it came from.

I just want him to sit and read etc (he's just got int chapter books and recently started sitting for half an hour or so reading which I love seeing) and I'm worried he'll be constantly asking to play games if we have a console.

Also considering he's not asked for one and none of our close friends have one, I kind of think we should wait until he is excited about getting one as a present instead of just being given one because DH wants it.

OP posts:

m0therofdragons · 03/11/2016 21:41

My dc play on it together and sometimes dh and I do wii sports as a family which is so sociable and fun. Would I want dc glued to a game for 6 hours? No. Can we use it as a family? Yes. Can dd play it for fun? Yes. Does dd still read despite us owning an Xbox (old and is dh's), a wii (also bought for dh and I before dc so is 9 years old), and PS4 (this is dh's but also means we have access to Netflix in our bedroom). Dd still reads and plays with her toys. It's about moderation.

Twinchaos1 · 03/11/2016 21:48

Our eight years olds have one they have only just started playing and much as they love it I find it much harder to manage than either the iPads or laptops. DH and I have both noticed increased aggression after using it despite only having age appropriate games, it seems to over stimulate them particularly if they are tired when playing. It is on limited timing and we stop its use some weeks. It enables the kids to engage with their peers socially but I would be pretty happy if it just vanished.

Sunnydawn · 03/11/2016 21:51

This is clear to me. Your DH wants an Xbox or PlayStation so that he can play FIFA 17. He is looking for an excuse to buy one. Tell DH to put it on his own Christmas list.

BuntyCollocks · 03/11/2016 21:52

My DS got our PS3 when we got the 4, he was 3, nearly 4 at the time. His hand/eye coordination is now amazing, and he doesn't spend extended periods on it. He'll be 6 in January. Also functions as a DVD player for the playroom.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 03/11/2016 21:52

It's not a case of either/or . You already manage your kid's time in some way I presume, why's it different when you add a console? My son (10) has an Xbox, Mac, iPad and mobile phone. He still sits and reads for at least an hour a day because he enjoys it.

leccybill · 03/11/2016 21:55

I wouldn't.
DH wants to get DD a tablet, she's nearly 7. She hasn't asked for one and isn't bothered about going on our ipad too much so I don't think we should. She has asked for dolls, Lucy the Dog and a puppet show so that's what she'll be getting.
They grow up too quick.

cheminotte · 03/11/2016 22:00

Yanbu. Does DH just want it himself? I agree you don't need another screen in the house, and why rush when he hasn't even asked for it.
Ds1 (9.5) is just now beginning to ask why he hasn't got one when 'all' his friends do, but I'm trying to put him off as long as possible as I think DS2(6) is too young and they already watch lots of TV, they will just want to do both.

Glittermakeseverythingbetter · 03/11/2016 22:01

OP I wouldn't get one. I don't have them in my house. DH got a tablet for dd2 when she turned 7 and it's caused no end of problems. She simply cannot control the time she spends on there and would happily spend an entire day on it. We've had many a tantrum over it and she is only allowed it once a week to do homework on now as she just stopped wanting to read or play with toys. I wish he'd never bought it.

SortAllTheThings · 03/11/2016 22:04

This is clear to me. Your DH wants an Xbox or PlayStation so that he can play FIFA 17. He is looking for an excuse to buy one. Tell DH to put it on his own Christmas list.

This.

How about a tablet so he can play minecraft etc. I notice a change in 8yo DS when he plays too many games. Reluctant to stop when asked, gets aggressive when he isn't allowed to play on it etc.

Geillis · 03/11/2016 22:04

YANBU. Don't get one till he wants/asks for one. Once his friends are playing them and he's showing a specific interest, what's the point? Trust me, it will become a point of conflict, so put it off as long as you can. I have two boys, they didn't get a console till the youngest was 10 and they both really wanted one.

Believeitornot · 03/11/2016 22:07

Hand eye coordination can be developed in other ways than using games consoles. Being sociable while you stare at a screen seems to me.

Screens are addictive! They make them that way on purpose.

Yanbu.

Eolian · 03/11/2016 22:08

Ok YANBU not to get him one until he actually wants one but YABU to have a blanket disapproval of video games. My dc play on theirs a lot. But they are also massive readers and have lots of other interests and activities. Yes, they would sometimes spend hours and hours on screen if they were allowed, but you don't have to allow that. Same as you can allow them chocolate but don't let them eat only chocolate!

octopusrus · 03/11/2016 22:10

Thanks for all the replies so far.

We have an iPad but it stays in the cupboard unless we're travelling more than an hour or so, or more recently he's started doing a football game which I switch with a times tables game (god I sound like a boring mum) so he does one of each.

He finds maths hard though so I think any practice helps, in my defence!

So he rarely asks for the iPad, and whenever I say no he just goes off and plays with his toys or reads, doesn't really argue much.

Maybe a good compromise would be to suggest next birthday.

OP posts:

AmberEars · 03/11/2016 22:10

I agree with you OP.

Starlight2345 · 03/11/2016 22:10

I have a DS (9) who had an x box last year...So your DS 's age but it was what he asked for.

He is a bookworm but would stare at the TV all day long even when bored senseless so had my concerns.

He is still a bookworm. I set boundaries but he doesn't go on it whenever he can.

The issue for me would be though he hasn't asked for it. At 8 they have a good idea what they want.. I agree with a PP who said DH wants it for himself.

What has he asked for Christmas?

dietcokeandwine · 03/11/2016 22:14

YANBU op.

If he's not asked for one, don't buy one!

If on the other hand he'd love one and would enjoy it, buy one.

It's easy enough to set some rules around its usage, if you do decide to go ahead. We bought ds2 one recently for his 7th birthday. (Mainly because ds1 got one for his 7th birthday and for years, literally years DS2 has been counting down to his 7th birthday so he could have one too). He's allowed on it on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays only. The rest of the week, outside of school and the various activities he does, he reads (voraciously), draws, does Lego, makes camps in the garden, plays with his little brother.... It's possible for them to enjoy gaming alongside other activities.

Like all these things, games consoles are great in moderation and it's up to us as parents to ensure they are not used to excess. But if your ds isn't even asking for one then I wouldn't be rushing out to buy one!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 03/11/2016 22:15

We've got two and we all play. The children are 15, 7, 7 and 5. DH and I play too.

It's totally up to you and DH. I would say if no one in the house has an interest then why bother? They are costly so it would probably be better to wait until he's got a friend who plays so he can have a go and see if he likes it.

octopusrus · 03/11/2016 22:19

Starlight - he's 7 so turning 8 in Dec. He's asked for a remote controlled car. Was all set for that!

PaulAnkaTheDog - I feel like we don't have loads of spare time, so there's no way DS could read half an hour a day for instance, plus do a bit of video games. He's quite sporty so does quite a few clubs and we usually see friends at the weekends with their kids so try to get all the homework done on Fri eve or Sat morning so it doesn't clash. There aren't any times where he's sitting around bored, we're always fitting things in.

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DeleteOrDecay · 03/11/2016 22:24

If he hasn't asked for one then I wouldn't bother. But there's a good chance he might want one further down the line and as long as you set clear boundaries, only have it in the living room/family area, limit hit time on it and stick to age appropriate games then I don't see the issue with it on the whole.

missyB1 · 03/11/2016 22:27

I also have a ds turning 8 in December he does not own any games consoles and hasn't asked for any. We have an I pad but he's only allowed on it at weekends for a set time. Luckily his dad and I are both agreeed to hold off as long as possible on the games console thing.
I would say don't buy it just for the sake of it.

Starlight2345 · 03/11/2016 22:30

I think the other thing to consider is getting one before all his mates..

My DS had a recon xbox 360 as that was what his mates had..They change so often by the time your DS actually wants one what they actually want may not be what your DH wants now.

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